10-15-2020, 09:25 AM
Wednesday 14 October - Day 1 of Cycle 3
Continued....
I wasnt able to log on last night to add to the previous post of this day.
I found that I had both insecurity, jealousy and light annoyance (not anger) towards the girl im chatting to. When I had a shower I was able to just put things into a little perspective and the fear of losing her gave me clarity to just take a chill pill (english phrase to mean dont sweat it) and just be my happy jolly self.
However when I then spoke to her on the phone the conversation was both heavy and at times constrained as she brought up why i was in what I called a "funk" with her and so we spoke and half of me felt maybe its best to just take some time out and close contact. She accussed me of playing mind games, which i dont do and do believe I do what I am doing is both be myself which then may be too needy and other times hold back because she isnt there with me as yet perhaps not in the same stage of feelings as I am. Where am i? I dont know but its alot.
The end of the conversation was great and it ended on a positive. I realised that im not playing mind games but im afraid of both losing her and her losing any form of attraction for me based on if I am too available and just too open with how she makes me feel. Im super happy with her but is it right to tell her every detail if she isnt there yet? Im confused.
The main data to share is that I got over the jealousy and what not due to her questioning why I felt this way considering in her eyes she didnt do anthing to instigate it. Either way ive decided to take measures to get more busy and to make sure I dont focus too much on certain things for now. No idea if this is possible in the long term.
So I think that was all I had to share about this day.
My stools seem to have gone the opposite ie more constipated which is what happens at times to me after a bout of loose stool as well as me eating more bread (brown and white) so contributing to fibre perhaps.
Continued....
I wasnt able to log on last night to add to the previous post of this day.
I found that I had both insecurity, jealousy and light annoyance (not anger) towards the girl im chatting to. When I had a shower I was able to just put things into a little perspective and the fear of losing her gave me clarity to just take a chill pill (english phrase to mean dont sweat it) and just be my happy jolly self.
However when I then spoke to her on the phone the conversation was both heavy and at times constrained as she brought up why i was in what I called a "funk" with her and so we spoke and half of me felt maybe its best to just take some time out and close contact. She accussed me of playing mind games, which i dont do and do believe I do what I am doing is both be myself which then may be too needy and other times hold back because she isnt there with me as yet perhaps not in the same stage of feelings as I am. Where am i? I dont know but its alot.
The end of the conversation was great and it ended on a positive. I realised that im not playing mind games but im afraid of both losing her and her losing any form of attraction for me based on if I am too available and just too open with how she makes me feel. Im super happy with her but is it right to tell her every detail if she isnt there yet? Im confused.
The main data to share is that I got over the jealousy and what not due to her questioning why I felt this way considering in her eyes she didnt do anthing to instigate it. Either way ive decided to take measures to get more busy and to make sure I dont focus too much on certain things for now. No idea if this is possible in the long term.
So I think that was all I had to share about this day.
My stools seem to have gone the opposite ie more constipated which is what happens at times to me after a bout of loose stool as well as me eating more bread (brown and white) so contributing to fibre perhaps.
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
