whome's OF 5.75G journal

[Shannon]

Is there any way to know that you’re “almost there” past the resistance?

For me, regarding getting past the exhaustion, I suddenly stopped needing to sleep-in late (or go to bed early) and had periods of high energy, and even a general positive mindset and euphoria.  For me, that occurred after a couple of cycles.  It seems to be different for everyone, though you're probably the person I've read about this affecting for the longest period of time.

For me, I was exhausted to the point of not being able to do much besides sleep all day for a couple few days.  Then my subconscious almost succeeded in tricking me into quitting for something else, and when I refused, the exhaustion just... disappeared.

I still use more energy than normal, but as long as I'm not also doing a lot of physical labor too (which is part of what I'm doing during my vacation, rock hounding is very physically demanding), I don't really notice it anymore.

If fear is foundational to your identity, you'll just need to use it longer, more loops, and/or less days off.  OF will eventually break through anything your subconscious can throw at it, as long as you keep going and you're using it at a reasonable volume and amount of loops/days on/days off.  The exhaustion means it is working, of course, because that means some part of you is fighting hard to stop it from doing what it's doing.  In most cases, it's because of a fear of death; in your case, it may be a fear of death and a fear of losing your identity without fear, which your subconscious may or may not also equate with death.

But if you keep going, it will work.  If your ketamine treatment is for something caused by fear, then only removing the fear will solve the problem.  I don't remember what you're taking the treatment for, but I think I remember it had to do with depression, and I have seen serious depression overcome with this program.  That really surprised me, but it makes sense that depression would arise from feelings of hopelessness based in being unable to get past fear.

Whatever the case, stopping the subliminal doesn't need guilt.  It's not an obligation.  But, if I were in your shoes, I would want to solve the problem.  If the ketamine is not going to solve it, I would probably give OF the full 8 months and then decide if I wanted/needed ketamine.  Or you can give ketamine a chance and then if necessary, do OF.  But whatever you do, I think it would be really beneficial for you to do a full 8 months of OF.