Cycle 1, day 3:
The manipulation went as far as a threat to find and apartment and leave me. That is a threat that would have scared me but not now. This is so manipulative and undeserved that I did hold my ground.
When she saw that she didn't have much leverage on me. She did remove the threat and started to get back to nice mode. I guess we could say that I kept my frame strong and she finally accepted it.
I cannot keep some grievance against that behavior. That was clearly immature and from insecurity but she is a good person. The manipulation attempt is clearly some feminine trait (and everyone is starting to become a little bit crazy with all the lockdown insanity going on all around the place...). A possible takeaway from all that is that not fearing threats and maintain a position that you feel is fair, is really empowering.
This morning, I felt some tension in the house and I was a bit bitter to have been treated like I did yesterday. It wasn't fear but I felt the tension physically in my shoulders.
Despite all that, it has been a good productive day. I did put aside my top priority refactoring task for few days for taking care of others small fires as they were happening on the server last week. It demanded some effort to get back into the state of mind where the picture of what needs to be done was clear in my mind. This kind of effort could afraid me in the past and instead of facing this fear which much of time is irrational, I would procrastinate in the past. This morning, I felt like things were different and pretty smooth. I didn't try or want to escape from the needed effort and it did turn out to be not be that big as reason would have probably predicted.
Wow. Who would have thought that it could have been possible. Fears were possibly slowing down my work in the past because of an irrational association between some required mental effort and, I guess, pain?
So good news, the trading started to happen again in decent volume. I will need to tweak again the strategy because it hasn't been very positive today. Out of my hat, I would say 2 positive trades out of 6.
On each of them, I still have discovered few glitches. Each trade, did distract me away from my main task but I'm not frustrated about the situation. It is a good sign that trades are happening and it is the only time where I can see the most important code in action. I guess one could say that making sure that trade execution is smooth is above anything else.
Bottom line, this a workable pace. I have a main task and it gets interrupted periodically for reviewing and monitoring the ongoing trading.
The manipulation went as far as a threat to find and apartment and leave me. That is a threat that would have scared me but not now. This is so manipulative and undeserved that I did hold my ground.
When she saw that she didn't have much leverage on me. She did remove the threat and started to get back to nice mode. I guess we could say that I kept my frame strong and she finally accepted it.
I cannot keep some grievance against that behavior. That was clearly immature and from insecurity but she is a good person. The manipulation attempt is clearly some feminine trait (and everyone is starting to become a little bit crazy with all the lockdown insanity going on all around the place...). A possible takeaway from all that is that not fearing threats and maintain a position that you feel is fair, is really empowering.
This morning, I felt some tension in the house and I was a bit bitter to have been treated like I did yesterday. It wasn't fear but I felt the tension physically in my shoulders.
Despite all that, it has been a good productive day. I did put aside my top priority refactoring task for few days for taking care of others small fires as they were happening on the server last week. It demanded some effort to get back into the state of mind where the picture of what needs to be done was clear in my mind. This kind of effort could afraid me in the past and instead of facing this fear which much of time is irrational, I would procrastinate in the past. This morning, I felt like things were different and pretty smooth. I didn't try or want to escape from the needed effort and it did turn out to be not be that big as reason would have probably predicted.
Wow. Who would have thought that it could have been possible. Fears were possibly slowing down my work in the past because of an irrational association between some required mental effort and, I guess, pain?
So good news, the trading started to happen again in decent volume. I will need to tweak again the strategy because it hasn't been very positive today. Out of my hat, I would say 2 positive trades out of 6.
On each of them, I still have discovered few glitches. Each trade, did distract me away from my main task but I'm not frustrated about the situation. It is a good sign that trades are happening and it is the only time where I can see the most important code in action. I guess one could say that making sure that trade execution is smooth is above anything else.
Bottom line, this a workable pace. I have a main task and it gets interrupted periodically for reviewing and monitoring the ongoing trading.
