10-31-2019, 05:46 AM
Day 34 (day 7 on)
Last night I couldn’t fall asleep, with a zillion thoughts bouncing around, so this morning was a rough start. The emotional lightness is still continuing, which is a very good thing. My upper body is still buzzing.
I mentioned the whole tonic water theory to my energy healer who reminded me that on Saturday we worked on admitting my resentment, so perhaps it’s my body that finally gave something up. On the other hand, last night I realized something: it turns out that I’m listening to a subliminal called DMSI specifically for the reason that perhaps it’ll start unwinding pain.
That makes it hard to pin down the “why” here. I’ve had emotional relapses before, and they’ve lasted on the length of weeks, so who knows if it’s just one of those. And I still don’t feel safe being excited about all of this: if I allow myself to get excited and then things wobble even a little, it feels like life saying “oh, you liked feeling normal? well, haha, f--- you”, and then my emotions just collapse hard.
My energy healer talks about having faith and how it’s different from hope. I still can’t see a practical difference. I’m continuing to have neither.
Last night I couldn’t fall asleep, with a zillion thoughts bouncing around, so this morning was a rough start. The emotional lightness is still continuing, which is a very good thing. My upper body is still buzzing.
I mentioned the whole tonic water theory to my energy healer who reminded me that on Saturday we worked on admitting my resentment, so perhaps it’s my body that finally gave something up. On the other hand, last night I realized something: it turns out that I’m listening to a subliminal called DMSI specifically for the reason that perhaps it’ll start unwinding pain.
That makes it hard to pin down the “why” here. I’ve had emotional relapses before, and they’ve lasted on the length of weeks, so who knows if it’s just one of those. And I still don’t feel safe being excited about all of this: if I allow myself to get excited and then things wobble even a little, it feels like life saying “oh, you liked feeling normal? well, haha, f--- you”, and then my emotions just collapse hard.
My energy healer talks about having faith and how it’s different from hope. I still can’t see a practical difference. I’m continuing to have neither.
I share the details of my life in my posts to help in the understanding of the effects of the subliminals I use. I am only open to advice that relates to the use of the subliminals.
