07-25-2019, 06:10 PM
Yesterday I noted that GF was significantly depressed. I strongly suspect that this result came from the emotional healing & pain relief program in UMS having been unable to keep the pain relief going for that long (5th day of rest), so I used the models yesterday and tried to determine the optimal usage pattern for us. Normally I run the models several times to verify the answer, but circumstances did not allow for this; I will have to do it later. However, last night, I did run another loop.
This morning, I woke up at 7 am (way the hell too early) to the sounds of my dogs whining to go outside. Usually, they wake me up at 9 or 9:30. I got up and found them still laying in their dog bed, which does not happen if they were whining to go outside. Opened the door for them anyway, and they didn't seem to be interested until I commanded them to get outside and "go potty!". One of them did, one of them didn't. Then they came back inside and I started going to bed, but noted that the bathroom floor felt oily. Upon closer inspection, I found urine spots in several places, and I know it wasn't my dogs.
For the last month or so my cat has been acting very strange. Went from being the perfect cat to randomly pissing all over the place. After a couple days I looked it up and found that most people say it's a UTI response, and he was starting to have blood in his urine. So I started him on saturated silver hydrosol instead of water, and his infection was gone in 3 days. So was his out-of-catbox experience.
But now a couple weeks later, he's back to pissing and shitting in random places. Last night I caught him in the middle of pissing and shitting all over the place behind the computer my GF uses, which is in the kitchen. The day before that we stopped him while he was trying to piss by the front door. I never took him off the saturated silver hydrosol, so this can't be an infection. Whatever it is, this cat is about to find himself up for adoption. My house has started smelling like cat piss, and I am not having this. I love that cat deeply, he's an amazingly loving cat; but this will not be tolerated. I'm still upset from last night finding that he'd just finished making a full pile and puddle behind the computer.
This morning, I have been doing research while I wait for GF to wake up and contemplating how UMS is affecting me. I can feel it working, and what I am most consciously aware of is... fear. There is some pat of me that feels a lot of fear about something and that is being worked on. The goal is being achieved regardless of that fear, as well, whatever it is.
In general, I'm not happy. This part of the process isn't fun or pretty, but the level of upset, fear and depression I feel over whatever is being worked on is only just barely enough to identify it. I really can't even say I am depressed; more like mildly down. And I suspect that is because I know that I have to either deal with a cat screwing up my house forever more or get rid of my kitty buddy. That doesn't make me happy. I think that's what primarily has me down.
Yesterday it was around 10 AM when I tried to model what the ideal usage patter for GF and I is, and immediately after that I started feeling the familiar feeling of the auric shield projecting.
I have also noted that for about the last four days, I have been slightly nauseous a lot more than usual, especially while driving. I have come to believe this is a side effect of the subconscious fears that are being worked on; whenever I was forced to face an extreme fear in the past, I would get nauseous and sometimes even faint.
But today I definitely aw the aura in action. We always get treated as special when we have just run a loop. I got some special treatment at breakfast. Miss "Nice watch!" was at it again, this time in a different direction.
Oh, and GF has not been depressed today, but she has started comfort eating in response to the FRM, I think. We made chocolate chip cookies tonight, which is very unusual for us. As long as it doesn't get out of control, we should be fine.
Just for the record, I am currently of the opinion that you'll know you have used it too much when you start getting headaches, sleep disturbances and/or exhaustion, and you'll know you need to use it again if the emotional pain relief part of E3 fades out and you feel upset and/or depressed emotionally.
This morning, I woke up at 7 am (way the hell too early) to the sounds of my dogs whining to go outside. Usually, they wake me up at 9 or 9:30. I got up and found them still laying in their dog bed, which does not happen if they were whining to go outside. Opened the door for them anyway, and they didn't seem to be interested until I commanded them to get outside and "go potty!". One of them did, one of them didn't. Then they came back inside and I started going to bed, but noted that the bathroom floor felt oily. Upon closer inspection, I found urine spots in several places, and I know it wasn't my dogs.
For the last month or so my cat has been acting very strange. Went from being the perfect cat to randomly pissing all over the place. After a couple days I looked it up and found that most people say it's a UTI response, and he was starting to have blood in his urine. So I started him on saturated silver hydrosol instead of water, and his infection was gone in 3 days. So was his out-of-catbox experience.
But now a couple weeks later, he's back to pissing and shitting in random places. Last night I caught him in the middle of pissing and shitting all over the place behind the computer my GF uses, which is in the kitchen. The day before that we stopped him while he was trying to piss by the front door. I never took him off the saturated silver hydrosol, so this can't be an infection. Whatever it is, this cat is about to find himself up for adoption. My house has started smelling like cat piss, and I am not having this. I love that cat deeply, he's an amazingly loving cat; but this will not be tolerated. I'm still upset from last night finding that he'd just finished making a full pile and puddle behind the computer.
This morning, I have been doing research while I wait for GF to wake up and contemplating how UMS is affecting me. I can feel it working, and what I am most consciously aware of is... fear. There is some pat of me that feels a lot of fear about something and that is being worked on. The goal is being achieved regardless of that fear, as well, whatever it is.
In general, I'm not happy. This part of the process isn't fun or pretty, but the level of upset, fear and depression I feel over whatever is being worked on is only just barely enough to identify it. I really can't even say I am depressed; more like mildly down. And I suspect that is because I know that I have to either deal with a cat screwing up my house forever more or get rid of my kitty buddy. That doesn't make me happy. I think that's what primarily has me down.
Yesterday it was around 10 AM when I tried to model what the ideal usage patter for GF and I is, and immediately after that I started feeling the familiar feeling of the auric shield projecting.
I have also noted that for about the last four days, I have been slightly nauseous a lot more than usual, especially while driving. I have come to believe this is a side effect of the subconscious fears that are being worked on; whenever I was forced to face an extreme fear in the past, I would get nauseous and sometimes even faint.
But today I definitely aw the aura in action. We always get treated as special when we have just run a loop. I got some special treatment at breakfast. Miss "Nice watch!" was at it again, this time in a different direction.
Oh, and GF has not been depressed today, but she has started comfort eating in response to the FRM, I think. We made chocolate chip cookies tonight, which is very unusual for us. As long as it doesn't get out of control, we should be fine.
Just for the record, I am currently of the opinion that you'll know you have used it too much when you start getting headaches, sleep disturbances and/or exhaustion, and you'll know you need to use it again if the emotional pain relief part of E3 fades out and you feel upset and/or depressed emotionally.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
