After 90 days I am thinking of moving onto USLM or UMOP.
I have realised recently as I have a speaking presentation and two written exams coming up that my fear and anxiety went from 0 to 80 all of a sudden out if no where. I was not aware at first what was going on, my first reaction was I started to not want to do it and avoid all the studying and preparation for it.
I then had an interview for the course I will be going onto if I pass and get this qualification and they talked about the course etc and since then what was last Wednesday, I have been feeling really weird like questioning everything and feeling fearful and avoid preparing my speech and for my writing exams and have been anxiously wondering if I can actually do this (the next course, the degree after), and if I can even handle it all and will I be wasting my time, not sure if I am good enough to be able to do this academically etc.
Very strange how it all just hit me out of no where. Maybe because shit is getting real now and I have been living in the clouds. I don't know.
But I think it started when I realised I actually have to do a speech, as when I think of not having to do a speech and just doing the written exams I feel better, but it does make me question if I'll be able to handle all the studying, course work, self studying on the next course which is preparing me for the higher education.
It's obviously fear. I just don't no what do as, I feel my self wanting to sabatage it by avoiding to study and revising my speech and making it seem legit by making question my longer term goals to make it seem like I am going into something I won't be able to handle or do good at.
I have realised recently as I have a speaking presentation and two written exams coming up that my fear and anxiety went from 0 to 80 all of a sudden out if no where. I was not aware at first what was going on, my first reaction was I started to not want to do it and avoid all the studying and preparation for it.
I then had an interview for the course I will be going onto if I pass and get this qualification and they talked about the course etc and since then what was last Wednesday, I have been feeling really weird like questioning everything and feeling fearful and avoid preparing my speech and for my writing exams and have been anxiously wondering if I can actually do this (the next course, the degree after), and if I can even handle it all and will I be wasting my time, not sure if I am good enough to be able to do this academically etc.
Very strange how it all just hit me out of no where. Maybe because shit is getting real now and I have been living in the clouds. I don't know.
But I think it started when I realised I actually have to do a speech, as when I think of not having to do a speech and just doing the written exams I feel better, but it does make me question if I'll be able to handle all the studying, course work, self studying on the next course which is preparing me for the higher education.
It's obviously fear. I just don't no what do as, I feel my self wanting to sabatage it by avoiding to study and revising my speech and making it seem legit by making question my longer term goals to make it seem like I am going into something I won't be able to handle or do good at.
