06-12-2019, 07:13 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-12-2019, 07:17 PM by ResJudicata.)
Day 101
The last couple of days have not been as rough as that first day. Part of that is probably the sub helping me process and I notice the edge of noticing certain habits related to my dog do not cut as deep as I expected. I also think the sub's working because damn am I tired every day even with extra hours of sleep.
I still think I've been having what feels like nothing but relatively bad luck (then again, I don't think anyone could say they've had good luck with what happened to my dog). Speculation is either the sub has focusing on the other goals which are more subtle (like I don't feel as stressed as I expected to be. There are moments of sadness but they're usually not overwhelming like the first day) or I've just been mentally focused on the parts my mind is actually resisting, giving myself the illusion it's not working.
Shannon if you have any other questions, let me know and I'll try to answer. Also, is it possible to twist the good luck part of the sub into resisting by making it bad luck? I could really use some good luck.
Edit: Something else I noticed was that I was able to look at the old photos of her and they didn't cause me to break down. I actually smiled at all the good old memories. It felt really good to be able to do that.
The last couple of days have not been as rough as that first day. Part of that is probably the sub helping me process and I notice the edge of noticing certain habits related to my dog do not cut as deep as I expected. I also think the sub's working because damn am I tired every day even with extra hours of sleep.
I still think I've been having what feels like nothing but relatively bad luck (then again, I don't think anyone could say they've had good luck with what happened to my dog). Speculation is either the sub has focusing on the other goals which are more subtle (like I don't feel as stressed as I expected to be. There are moments of sadness but they're usually not overwhelming like the first day) or I've just been mentally focused on the parts my mind is actually resisting, giving myself the illusion it's not working.
Shannon if you have any other questions, let me know and I'll try to answer. Also, is it possible to twist the good luck part of the sub into resisting by making it bad luck? I could really use some good luck.
Edit: Something else I noticed was that I was able to look at the old photos of her and they didn't cause me to break down. I actually smiled at all the good old memories. It felt really good to be able to do that.
