04-26-2019, 01:37 PM
It seems LTU is digging deep into myself and changing/clearing things down in my very core (or rather in at least one of my cores). It's been a long time since I felt subs moving me and myself so profoundly that I can actually understand and write about it (and want to write about it) here in a journal. But I awoke from a dream just now that made me realize that something very deep is indeed being re-arranged and I want to record it in some form.
Maybe I started to notice that something is going on yesterday already and this primed me to notice more just now. Yesterday I bought something on a whim, almost on autopilot, that I would have never considered to buy or have had the courage (as in: absence of shame) to buy before. Only after the purchase did I realize this fact, though.
Today I dreamed that some others and I changed parts of my parents property (more like terra forming). We were getting ready to leave/sell it and were having fun in completely altering it in the wake of this. This dream-scene, although just a small part of the overall dream plot, had a very playful and happy vibe to it.
To connect it to my life/me it is important to understand that I grew up and spent the first two decades of my life in the house of my parents and on the small property surrounding it. It's literally the place where my roots are. In the last few years there has been a fierce legal conflict that threatened the loss of this property (and many other properties around it) due to some dubious business and land reform by the government and money investors following the reunifaction of Germany in the beginning of the nineties. This is settled now, but in the process my parents lost parts of the property.
I only am beginning to understand that this whole ordeal must have hit me deeper than I previously thought. Now I can correlate it with feelings of danger, loss and rootlessness over the last few years. However, the place of my roots is safe now. I bring this up because on a psychological level my parents place, the land where I grew up, is something utterly important to me. And only the dream that I wrote about earlier allowed me to recognize this deep connection. This means that symbolically it holds a fundamental significance for me. To willfully and happily change parts of this land completely in a dream seems important.
Maybe I started to notice that something is going on yesterday already and this primed me to notice more just now. Yesterday I bought something on a whim, almost on autopilot, that I would have never considered to buy or have had the courage (as in: absence of shame) to buy before. Only after the purchase did I realize this fact, though.
Today I dreamed that some others and I changed parts of my parents property (more like terra forming). We were getting ready to leave/sell it and were having fun in completely altering it in the wake of this. This dream-scene, although just a small part of the overall dream plot, had a very playful and happy vibe to it.
To connect it to my life/me it is important to understand that I grew up and spent the first two decades of my life in the house of my parents and on the small property surrounding it. It's literally the place where my roots are. In the last few years there has been a fierce legal conflict that threatened the loss of this property (and many other properties around it) due to some dubious business and land reform by the government and money investors following the reunifaction of Germany in the beginning of the nineties. This is settled now, but in the process my parents lost parts of the property.
I only am beginning to understand that this whole ordeal must have hit me deeper than I previously thought. Now I can correlate it with feelings of danger, loss and rootlessness over the last few years. However, the place of my roots is safe now. I bring this up because on a psychological level my parents place, the land where I grew up, is something utterly important to me. And only the dream that I wrote about earlier allowed me to recognize this deep connection. This means that symbolically it holds a fundamental significance for me. To willfully and happily change parts of this land completely in a dream seems important.
_ - Third Stone From The Sun - _
