Ah well, I guess I am starting a journal of sorts to document my experiences with Life Tune Up in its fifth incarnation.
My day counter says it's Day 53 today. I have been on LTU v4 for 24 days and switched over to v5 without a break. So that makes ... *rolling_eyes* ... 53+1=54 | 54-24=30 | 30-1=29 days on LTU v5. Does feel longer, though.
Since starting I had three instances of setting different people straight in a brusk confrontational way that overstepped my boundaries where I was completely on auto-pilot. Very much like a sudden verbal thunderclap. Very unlike "me", or at least how I thought of "me" until then. Understand, I am a person of harmony. But who says that harmony cannot be achieved with a loud bang? But I disgress. Most interesting about this to me is the fact that the people in question not only backed away but started actively to suck up to me afterwards. Very strange to witness such behavior up close.
What else? I went on a creative rampage for three weeks or so and learned a lot of new ways to tinker with digital images. There is a pattern emerging with this hunt for new ways to express myself with digital imagery. Started way back on the height of my first BASE run and improved upon itself roughly once a year since then. But this may well be a two-edged sword as I will try to show.
Two-edged because it became a sink-hole for time. This time-sink is not bad in itself, because I improved myself. But I realized that this is just one of several methods I implemented to hide from facing myself and my current life. To give you some perspective: I edited well over 5000 images over the course of my creative spree. Add useless reading and binge-watching movies/series/instructional videos. Add a smoking habit that suddenly became excessive. Add avoiding the heck out of working on the project that holds the key to my career-life. And the newest addition: tons of comfort food. I am trying everything to negate some aspects of LTU it seems. Gotta work on that.
What else? The decluttering module shines through very often. Even though I slack off quite a bit lately, my flat suddenly became very neat and organized. It was mah-mah-OK before, but now it's a nice place to actually think freely. It's a space that screams to be used productively, if that makes sense.
A long while ago I realized that I don't know and never really learned how to positively motivate myself. Since fear and shame and guilt and societal pressure isn't really getting to me (now more than ever) I am in a gridlock. Learning to positively motivate myself ... that's a big one on my list. If only I could find the motivation to learn how to do that
Another thing that stands out is that I don't find anything interesting enough to do. My creativity binge is over and not even the fruits of my labor/learning of that can lure my mind out of its boredom. This is an utter boredom of life itself. And probably just the newest evasion tactic to counter some of the LTU input. Well, I tend to get a good nights sleep every night beacuse I can't find anything meaningful to do and simply go to bed very early out of boredom. So it's not all that bad, I think.
My dreamscape is a very intense one. There is a lot of weird stuff going on. Every night. I rather enjoy that. Sometimes it takes me some time after waking up to sort out dream from reality. With this comes a lot of retrospection about my past. Not in any ordered or themed fashion but pretty randomly all across the board.
Oh, I almost forgot. I am effectively isolating myself at the moment. I managed to freeze my social life. Another thing to get a grip on somehow. Well, granted, this started before I got my hands on LTU. But it seems even more enhanced now compared to before ... at least that is the perception I get. Whatever. Peanuts.
Let's see how all this plays out over the coming months. I am actually pretty cheerful
My day counter says it's Day 53 today. I have been on LTU v4 for 24 days and switched over to v5 without a break. So that makes ... *rolling_eyes* ... 53+1=54 | 54-24=30 | 30-1=29 days on LTU v5. Does feel longer, though.
Since starting I had three instances of setting different people straight in a brusk confrontational way that overstepped my boundaries where I was completely on auto-pilot. Very much like a sudden verbal thunderclap. Very unlike "me", or at least how I thought of "me" until then. Understand, I am a person of harmony. But who says that harmony cannot be achieved with a loud bang? But I disgress. Most interesting about this to me is the fact that the people in question not only backed away but started actively to suck up to me afterwards. Very strange to witness such behavior up close.
What else? I went on a creative rampage for three weeks or so and learned a lot of new ways to tinker with digital images. There is a pattern emerging with this hunt for new ways to express myself with digital imagery. Started way back on the height of my first BASE run and improved upon itself roughly once a year since then. But this may well be a two-edged sword as I will try to show.
Two-edged because it became a sink-hole for time. This time-sink is not bad in itself, because I improved myself. But I realized that this is just one of several methods I implemented to hide from facing myself and my current life. To give you some perspective: I edited well over 5000 images over the course of my creative spree. Add useless reading and binge-watching movies/series/instructional videos. Add a smoking habit that suddenly became excessive. Add avoiding the heck out of working on the project that holds the key to my career-life. And the newest addition: tons of comfort food. I am trying everything to negate some aspects of LTU it seems. Gotta work on that.
What else? The decluttering module shines through very often. Even though I slack off quite a bit lately, my flat suddenly became very neat and organized. It was mah-mah-OK before, but now it's a nice place to actually think freely. It's a space that screams to be used productively, if that makes sense.
A long while ago I realized that I don't know and never really learned how to positively motivate myself. Since fear and shame and guilt and societal pressure isn't really getting to me (now more than ever) I am in a gridlock. Learning to positively motivate myself ... that's a big one on my list. If only I could find the motivation to learn how to do that
Another thing that stands out is that I don't find anything interesting enough to do. My creativity binge is over and not even the fruits of my labor/learning of that can lure my mind out of its boredom. This is an utter boredom of life itself. And probably just the newest evasion tactic to counter some of the LTU input. Well, I tend to get a good nights sleep every night beacuse I can't find anything meaningful to do and simply go to bed very early out of boredom. So it's not all that bad, I think.
My dreamscape is a very intense one. There is a lot of weird stuff going on. Every night. I rather enjoy that. Sometimes it takes me some time after waking up to sort out dream from reality. With this comes a lot of retrospection about my past. Not in any ordered or themed fashion but pretty randomly all across the board.
Oh, I almost forgot. I am effectively isolating myself at the moment. I managed to freeze my social life. Another thing to get a grip on somehow. Well, granted, this started before I got my hands on LTU. But it seems even more enhanced now compared to before ... at least that is the perception I get. Whatever. Peanuts.
Let's see how all this plays out over the coming months. I am actually pretty cheerful
_ - Third Stone From The Sun - _
