01-02-2019, 07:28 AM
It took three weeks of almost no libido and no sexual dreams or actions (which is noticeably low, by my standards), but, finally, this week, I've seen signs from within myself that I'm actually listening to a sub whose goal has something to do with sex. They're back, stronger than before.
Despite having executed during past versions of DMSI fairly well, there's plenty of things that could explain this delay on the sexual side:
Yeah, it's a lot slower to ramp up than older versions were, but I'm asking myself to do more work to achieve a better result, so there's a potential trade-off in speed for consistency and performance. I'll always prefer however long it takes to reach the destination that I'll most enjoy over a quicker arrival time at a less sufficient destination. Faster would be nice, but not at the expense of the place that I really want to reach. Or, to put it another way, visiting the Japanese restaurant across the street from my home may be significantly faster to do, but it's not likely to be an equivalent substitute for visiting Japan itself. The latter would take a lot more time, effort, and resources to achieve, for a different result.
Despite having executed during past versions of DMSI fairly well, there's plenty of things that could explain this delay on the sexual side:
- 11 months since the last DMSI version that I ran (3.1).
- New instructions since 3.1 (disconnecting from negative stress, the Wall, etc) to learn and execute.
- A reworded responder demographic in the goal that, I presume, required me to reset/re-clarify my own definitions for the new (yet, in most ways, previous) responder demographic -- like the difference between being asked what one wants to eat for dinner tonight versus tomorrow night, where the two might not be identical (even though they could be) and where the person still has to decide definitively against what they don't want (even if they don't want it, never want it, or are completely allergic to it) in order to cross it off the list.
- Having taken the instructed 5.5G break for DMSI in mid-September, pre-FRM in USLM, rather than having taken the semi-popular route of spending weeks on USLM2/USLM3's respective FRMs in October and November. (Fewer weeks of FRM exposure/practice than others had.)
- Having started with a lot of fear that I'd been very good at sidestepping, overcoming, ignoring, etc for decades... with, by comparison, little to no previous experience in trying to remove those fears. (Also, ignoring just about anything tends to be quicker, if less permanent, than taking the time to remove it. Plus, I have to stop habitually ignoring that anything so that I can see that it's there to need removing.)
- More things, but this list is too long and meandering already.
Yeah, it's a lot slower to ramp up than older versions were, but I'm asking myself to do more work to achieve a better result, so there's a potential trade-off in speed for consistency and performance. I'll always prefer however long it takes to reach the destination that I'll most enjoy over a quicker arrival time at a less sufficient destination. Faster would be nice, but not at the expense of the place that I really want to reach. Or, to put it another way, visiting the Japanese restaurant across the street from my home may be significantly faster to do, but it's not likely to be an equivalent substitute for visiting Japan itself. The latter would take a lot more time, effort, and resources to achieve, for a different result.
