05-30-2018, 12:27 AM
I think what you are trying to do is a good thing. In the past I wished my parents would have put in such effort to clear bad situations afterwards.
But maybe you are going about this too much from your own point of view. Wanting to apologize and get off your heart what is bothering you about what happened. I think it could be better to establish some rapport before apolgizing. Because in the end it's at least as much about your girl as it is about you yourself.
Tell her about how you made an ass of a parent out of yourself, that you made a mistake, feel terrible and that you want to right this wrong. Ask her about how she felt and what she thought about what happened. Listen to her point of view. Really listen. Don't just wait for your turn to speak. You know, this alone is conveying that she is important to you. If she decides to get this stuff off her chest, fine. First step towards a better communication about it. If not, give her time.
I think only after understanding how this incident affected her, you can apologize sincerely and effectively.
This may be a painful path through a field littered with mines of guilt and shame and fear. But it is an action of bravery that you intend to walk it nonetheless.
But maybe you are going about this too much from your own point of view. Wanting to apologize and get off your heart what is bothering you about what happened. I think it could be better to establish some rapport before apolgizing. Because in the end it's at least as much about your girl as it is about you yourself.
Tell her about how you made an ass of a parent out of yourself, that you made a mistake, feel terrible and that you want to right this wrong. Ask her about how she felt and what she thought about what happened. Listen to her point of view. Really listen. Don't just wait for your turn to speak. You know, this alone is conveying that she is important to you. If she decides to get this stuff off her chest, fine. First step towards a better communication about it. If not, give her time.
I think only after understanding how this incident affected her, you can apologize sincerely and effectively.
This may be a painful path through a field littered with mines of guilt and shame and fear. But it is an action of bravery that you intend to walk it nonetheless.
_ - Third Stone From The Sun - _
