02-13-2018, 10:51 AM
Update time. Today I have been thinking about happiness and luck and I asked myself why can't I have things that makes me happy. My inner response was "There is always a price and you have to pay for if you become happy. The better you do the higher the price". This was followed by a lot of religious stuff, like "being lucky is a s** (rule4)", or "you get punished", all rule 4 related. Last thing came in my mind was "You are only safe if you are at the bottom".
But I also had interesting TID experiences. For example one day I saw a group of few girls and I started having having thoughts like "you could try to start to experiment and simply say something and see their reaction". It felt rather playful than something I had to do. It didn't last long but still interesting because I usually want to know what I do instead of experimenting. Another thought was about starting being more social with people in general just for its own purpose instead of expecting something.
Other than that I also had some (probably) resistance based reactions. For example few days ago I started to worry about sex related injuries and accidents but the thoughts faded to a large degree. Another thing is I experienced some kind of energy overload where I felt like too much coffee and could only sleep for about three hours the night. Probably caused by a combination of not masturbating and the girlfriend of my neighbour visiting him (their sleeping place in next to mine). After masturbating it went down again, but even then I didn't feel a lot of urge to do so. This overload happend only once so far.
But I also had interesting TID experiences. For example one day I saw a group of few girls and I started having having thoughts like "you could try to start to experiment and simply say something and see their reaction". It felt rather playful than something I had to do. It didn't last long but still interesting because I usually want to know what I do instead of experimenting. Another thought was about starting being more social with people in general just for its own purpose instead of expecting something.
Other than that I also had some (probably) resistance based reactions. For example few days ago I started to worry about sex related injuries and accidents but the thoughts faded to a large degree. Another thing is I experienced some kind of energy overload where I felt like too much coffee and could only sleep for about three hours the night. Probably caused by a combination of not masturbating and the girlfriend of my neighbour visiting him (their sleeping place in next to mine). After masturbating it went down again, but even then I didn't feel a lot of urge to do so. This overload happend only once so far.
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.
