02-16-2012, 05:52 AM
Day 6 - 14.02.2012
At this point the sleepy process seems to be perfect, so i'll stop mentioning it unless something pops up again. On this day i wanted to look/work on my posture abit more. When i went to the mirror to take a good look on the way i stand, i noticed that i actually do stand alot more confident. I wasnt really trying to stand like this i just felt like standing like this. At work i wanted to try to lead again where we go for lunch, but not as dominant as befor. I wanted to see if i dont feel as disconnected then. Sadly as always if u dont go 100% it doesnt work
. So the others took the lead again and i felt more like a follower there again. I should decide to really go for the leading role though. Afterall im in this to become a Alpha Male 
Day 7 - 15.02.2012
I went dancing again in the Evening. I arrived early and while waiting for my partneress to arrive, i felt really uncomfortable. Basically there was also a Zumba group of women 40-50 years old waiting for their lesson. And so many of them just started staring me down. It was like first was one women watching then the ones arround her started also looking at me. So i basically had like 10 women constantly looking at me. At some point i looked really forcefully to the side to not see them at all anymore. Eventually their lesson started and i could relax again befor my partneress arrived. At the break time we sat at a table and like 4 of them went all the way to our table which was one of the furthest away just to pick the table next to us. "Hey are the two of you having fun? Its such a nice place here isnt it?" Me: "Yea its alright here" i tried to cut the conversation super short with them becouse i wasnt attracted at all. Luckily my lesson continued shortly after. The reacion i got from the women wasnt bad actually, im really looking forward if i can get a similar reaction from women i am attracted to but we'll see
. Later that evening i was randomly checking out fun places to go to. I never really felt like doing that but i just decided to do that yesterday. I found a nice Orchester which i intend to visit .
Day 8 - 16.02.2012
This morning i decided to write this Journal. I had the idea roaming arround in my head for a while, but only today i really pulled through, like to go for it. While writing this i had some negativ thoughts "Will people like this / find it usefull... etc" or "I'm revealing alot of things here, what if people find out about this..etc". When i think about it though there will still be alot of walls i need to push through, but just like this one today, ill push through them .On a side note I also had good feelings / thoughts by remembering the last few days of what happend already and im hyped to see what more will come . I'll see you guys arround, you will prolly hear from me tomorrow and i wish you a great thursday.
At this point the sleepy process seems to be perfect, so i'll stop mentioning it unless something pops up again. On this day i wanted to look/work on my posture abit more. When i went to the mirror to take a good look on the way i stand, i noticed that i actually do stand alot more confident. I wasnt really trying to stand like this i just felt like standing like this. At work i wanted to try to lead again where we go for lunch, but not as dominant as befor. I wanted to see if i dont feel as disconnected then. Sadly as always if u dont go 100% it doesnt work
. So the others took the lead again and i felt more like a follower there again. I should decide to really go for the leading role though. Afterall im in this to become a Alpha Male Day 7 - 15.02.2012
I went dancing again in the Evening. I arrived early and while waiting for my partneress to arrive, i felt really uncomfortable. Basically there was also a Zumba group of women 40-50 years old waiting for their lesson. And so many of them just started staring me down. It was like first was one women watching then the ones arround her started also looking at me. So i basically had like 10 women constantly looking at me. At some point i looked really forcefully to the side to not see them at all anymore. Eventually their lesson started and i could relax again befor my partneress arrived. At the break time we sat at a table and like 4 of them went all the way to our table which was one of the furthest away just to pick the table next to us. "Hey are the two of you having fun? Its such a nice place here isnt it?" Me: "Yea its alright here" i tried to cut the conversation super short with them becouse i wasnt attracted at all. Luckily my lesson continued shortly after. The reacion i got from the women wasnt bad actually, im really looking forward if i can get a similar reaction from women i am attracted to but we'll see
. Later that evening i was randomly checking out fun places to go to. I never really felt like doing that but i just decided to do that yesterday. I found a nice Orchester which i intend to visit .Day 8 - 16.02.2012
This morning i decided to write this Journal. I had the idea roaming arround in my head for a while, but only today i really pulled through, like to go for it. While writing this i had some negativ thoughts "Will people like this / find it usefull... etc" or "I'm revealing alot of things here, what if people find out about this..etc". When i think about it though there will still be alot of walls i need to push through, but just like this one today, ill push through them
.On a side note I also had good feelings / thoughts by remembering the last few days of what happend already and im hyped to see what more will come . I'll see you guys arround, you will prolly hear from me tomorrow and i wish you a great thursday.
