02-09-2012, 06:21 AM
motivation has gone up a little bit after 4 days of stage 3. I realized during stage 2 that I was procastinating at work a lot. Towards the end of stage 2 procastination had gone worse but its getting better after stage 3.
on the last night of stage 2, I was happy that because of indifference and keeping my cool after a whole lot of shit tests and insults that a disaster night out with a girl to an awesome and kind of memorable at the least.
It was an IDGAF night for me and it turned out from worse to great. Being able to dismiss anything that might affect or bother you at will feels liberating. I would've sulked and sunked in the past.
And then it hit me. after an overnight of listening to stage 3, I woke up feeling a lot of rage. I just snap at anyone who doesn't respect me. I calmed down later that day.
A lot of neediness is surfacing, I do better if I listen to the faint voice in my head to ignore the urge and avoid the person. Its hard to learn that lesson even though I kept crashing and burning. having trouble letting go of that girl I was infatuated with. Logically I know there is no future there with her so I just want to have some fun whenever we get together. now if I can follow that without my neediness coming up.
@Shannon, thanks. I know this will all be worth it in the end. I am already appreciating the changes so far.
@jimbobday, it's good to know I'm going through the same thing with someone. It takes out some of that "it might just be me" phrase out of my head.
P.S. I started to learn Brazilian Portuguese while listening to Learn Portuguese more quickly and easily sub. It's been quite easy to learn some basics, although my native language is somewhat close to Spanish I can still point out some similarities with Portuguese. I'll see how this goes after 3 months.
I'd like to learn Swedish, German, French, Spanish, Arabic and Japanese in the future
on the last night of stage 2, I was happy that because of indifference and keeping my cool after a whole lot of shit tests and insults that a disaster night out with a girl to an awesome and kind of memorable at the least.
It was an IDGAF night for me and it turned out from worse to great. Being able to dismiss anything that might affect or bother you at will feels liberating. I would've sulked and sunked in the past.
And then it hit me. after an overnight of listening to stage 3, I woke up feeling a lot of rage. I just snap at anyone who doesn't respect me. I calmed down later that day.
A lot of neediness is surfacing, I do better if I listen to the faint voice in my head to ignore the urge and avoid the person. Its hard to learn that lesson even though I kept crashing and burning. having trouble letting go of that girl I was infatuated with. Logically I know there is no future there with her so I just want to have some fun whenever we get together. now if I can follow that without my neediness coming up.
@Shannon, thanks. I know this will all be worth it in the end. I am already appreciating the changes so far.
@jimbobday, it's good to know I'm going through the same thing with someone. It takes out some of that "it might just be me" phrase out of my head.
P.S. I started to learn Brazilian Portuguese while listening to Learn Portuguese more quickly and easily sub. It's been quite easy to learn some basics, although my native language is somewhat close to Spanish I can still point out some similarities with Portuguese. I'll see how this goes after 3 months.
I'd like to learn Swedish, German, French, Spanish, Arabic and Japanese in the future
