01-21-2012, 11:04 PM
18th Day of Alpha Male 2011 Stage 2 / 11th Day of Disconnect From Negativity Within
It's funny how I'm always in the look out for what is changing in me but couldn't find it which makes me think that the sub is not working. It's until I notice that the way I handle certain situations is different than what I would have done prior to Alpha Male sub. Like this one time when my boss asked me to be in his meeting with his client. I just said ok, like it was not a big deal for me. I went through the whole ordeal without being nervous and all, not one bit. I just had trouble understanding what they were implying and I asked them to elaborate the matter a lot of times. After the meeting I had a thought of what could've been if it was 2 months ago before alpha male sub, I would be nervous/anxious the moment my boss says I will be in the meeting and I don't think I would even speak or ask them to elaborate what I couldn't comprehend.
My lower back has been aching these past 2 weeks. Everyday I would complain about it. Until I realized my posture has always been lousy and my body is trying to correct my posture and when it does, my back makes me feel it which makes me notice my posture almost everyday. My way of walking is more 'defined'. I'm feeling every step I take some times, like I'm walking in a model's ramp almost like my way of walking got an attitude.
Started listening to Disconnect From Negativity Within since the 11th of January. After 11 days of it I'm guessing that it's the one responsible for making me bring up the feelings for the girl I used to be infatuated with. But this time I just brushed the thought away and it faded quickly as it was brought up, with the help of seeing beautiful women on screen and real life. I feel my negative thoughts come up less often and goes away faster.
Some days I feel excited for things that I want to do like traveling and some weird times I just feel excited for no reason at all.
I feel a slight urge to look after Alpha Male role models in movies like Daniel Craig (James Bond, Defiance), Liam Neeson where he is a leader (e.g. A-Team), George Clooney / Brad Pitt (e.g. Ocean's Eleven/Twelve/Thirteen), Tom Cruise etc.
I started to think about what to do after Alpha Male 2011. I was definitely going to do SM 2.0 after AM2011 until I was inspired by Benjamin's Achieve Your Ideal Weight decision, but instead with a height increase sub. It is one of my insecurities that I feel hopeless about it and it is my main priority for the long run. I am looking forward for a sub much like the AYIW but instead for Height increase. It's a bummer that Shannon might not be doing customs for this year, but I'll keep my fingers crossed =3
It's funny how I'm always in the look out for what is changing in me but couldn't find it which makes me think that the sub is not working. It's until I notice that the way I handle certain situations is different than what I would have done prior to Alpha Male sub. Like this one time when my boss asked me to be in his meeting with his client. I just said ok, like it was not a big deal for me. I went through the whole ordeal without being nervous and all, not one bit. I just had trouble understanding what they were implying and I asked them to elaborate the matter a lot of times. After the meeting I had a thought of what could've been if it was 2 months ago before alpha male sub, I would be nervous/anxious the moment my boss says I will be in the meeting and I don't think I would even speak or ask them to elaborate what I couldn't comprehend.
My lower back has been aching these past 2 weeks. Everyday I would complain about it. Until I realized my posture has always been lousy and my body is trying to correct my posture and when it does, my back makes me feel it which makes me notice my posture almost everyday. My way of walking is more 'defined'. I'm feeling every step I take some times, like I'm walking in a model's ramp almost like my way of walking got an attitude.
Started listening to Disconnect From Negativity Within since the 11th of January. After 11 days of it I'm guessing that it's the one responsible for making me bring up the feelings for the girl I used to be infatuated with. But this time I just brushed the thought away and it faded quickly as it was brought up, with the help of seeing beautiful women on screen and real life. I feel my negative thoughts come up less often and goes away faster.
Some days I feel excited for things that I want to do like traveling and some weird times I just feel excited for no reason at all.
I feel a slight urge to look after Alpha Male role models in movies like Daniel Craig (James Bond, Defiance), Liam Neeson where he is a leader (e.g. A-Team), George Clooney / Brad Pitt (e.g. Ocean's Eleven/Twelve/Thirteen), Tom Cruise etc.
I started to think about what to do after Alpha Male 2011. I was definitely going to do SM 2.0 after AM2011 until I was inspired by Benjamin's Achieve Your Ideal Weight decision, but instead with a height increase sub. It is one of my insecurities that I feel hopeless about it and it is my main priority for the long run. I am looking forward for a sub much like the AYIW but instead for Height increase. It's a bummer that Shannon might not be doing customs for this year, but I'll keep my fingers crossed =3
