lmao, sadly 2 months is all I could handle. I'm going crazy having sexual thoughts all the time, it had to be released. I don't like the after effect of it with feeling guilty sometimes, wonder why it happens often but I think it must have something to do with all that crap fed to my subconscious growing up (e.g. doing it is bad, you get bad luck after doing it [which i'm starting to think is true, happens almost everytime and lasts for a few days], also I read somewhere in the vast ocean of the internet that it diminishes your energy unless you have a partner of the opposite sex.. hmm).
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I wonder if I have said "No" upfront to a girl that asked me a favor earlier (whom I'm interested with) is a better choice than my excuse "I'm busy but I will Try" (not actual words, it was lamer). Because right now I feel bad that I let her down and kept her hope up. I feel I'm to blame her plans ruined. If I had said no, or something like "no, I'm busy" I would have made it clear and rid myself of guilt.
Looking back I felt that I was trying to please her and ended up beating myself for it.
Read some horoscope stuff today. I discovered that Libras tend to be gullible and sensitive but what bothered me is the indecisive trait. That hit the nail in the head. I tend to overthink things. Especially when dealing with a decision. I think of possible scenarios for all choices I can make. It might be great for stuff like financial decision and such but what/where/when to eat, watch a movie and small stuff needn't be hard and bringing up headaches from dilemmas.
There is this very cute girl working in the same building the I work at. We pass by each other from time to time but doesn't seem to notice me. Today I saw her having a smoke by the building's entrance from a block away. I was looking at her all the way until the front door. She was moving away, I didn't notice it much but now that I'm thinking back at it she must've move away to not blow smoke at me or something. Anyway I was surprised that before I reached for the door I was still looking at her with no expression on my face then she suddenly smiled and waved at me. Really odd. I gave her a really short smile but I didn't stop. Deep inside though I felt a little bit of euphoria.
2nd Day of Alpha Male 2011 Stage 2
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I wonder if I have said "No" upfront to a girl that asked me a favor earlier (whom I'm interested with) is a better choice than my excuse "I'm busy but I will Try" (not actual words, it was lamer). Because right now I feel bad that I let her down and kept her hope up. I feel I'm to blame her plans ruined. If I had said no, or something like "no, I'm busy" I would have made it clear and rid myself of guilt.
Looking back I felt that I was trying to please her and ended up beating myself for it.
Read some horoscope stuff today. I discovered that Libras tend to be gullible and sensitive but what bothered me is the indecisive trait. That hit the nail in the head. I tend to overthink things. Especially when dealing with a decision. I think of possible scenarios for all choices I can make. It might be great for stuff like financial decision and such but what/where/when to eat, watch a movie and small stuff needn't be hard and bringing up headaches from dilemmas.
There is this very cute girl working in the same building the I work at. We pass by each other from time to time but doesn't seem to notice me. Today I saw her having a smoke by the building's entrance from a block away. I was looking at her all the way until the front door. She was moving away, I didn't notice it much but now that I'm thinking back at it she must've move away to not blow smoke at me or something. Anyway I was surprised that before I reached for the door I was still looking at her with no expression on my face then she suddenly smiled and waved at me. Really odd. I gave her a really short smile but I didn't stop. Deep inside though I felt a little bit of euphoria.
2nd Day of Alpha Male 2011 Stage 2
