Why am I affected more by the trickling stream version?

[findingme]

So in your case, you appear to be more resistant than the average person by default, and the trickling stream (and ocean surf) has a different, more quiet way of sending information compared to the ultrasonic, which is louder. This is irrespective of the volume you choose. You may interpret the masked tracks as suggestions and not as orders, and you subconsciously find the former more comfortable, while with the latter you refuse to comply.

Wow.........no kidding. I'll share one paragraph of my results since yesterday. I was wring this morning:

Wow... I haven't felt this in decades. I'm feeling/remembering days in community college, mid-90's. I was a grown up, but noone knew what I thought. I had no close friends by choice, as the safety of school--meaning no big responsibilities--was why I liked it. Responsibility (getting a REAL job, and relationships) was seen as..........feelings of pain and failure.....so I did not want that......school had numerous possibilities, I'd ride it as long as I could, as life was not laid out for me in any way. I just liked/enjoyed/clung to the daily distractions of playing the "I'm responsible" game, meaning doing homework and turning in assignments. I could do that, I had to to stay in classes, so I did. But........I was terrified thinking of playing like an adult, people knowing me, me knowing me, me feeling anything at all, so the "game" was way more attractive than real life. Lonely as hell, but SAFE. And always fearing the future.


The masked version is really getting in my head, unlike the US version. I'll take it one day at a time and will put this in my journal.