12-25-2011, 07:04 AM
21st Day of Alpha Male 2011 Stage 1
I'm beginning to get outside my comfort zone easier. A voice in my head used to say negative things that try to keep me in my comfort zone like you'll embarrass yourself, you have no appropriate clothes etc, but now It's like there's another one that pushes me out to change and go for what I want. Since starting AM2011, I've been going out when asked, I usually turn down most of them prior.
When around new people, I am so timid and shy before that I don't even try to join the conversation. Its like I listen and put the conversation in my head and join in it. I mean I'm still shy and hesitant but I do give out my opinion and curiosity about the subject now. I think about what they are thinking about me less and less since the start of this sub. If I do think about I distract myself and listen to the conversation again. I find confidence in little things like now I'm able to intervene or ask a sparring partner in my martial arts class, still shy and thinking too much but am slowlyy going for it.
I get agitated and furious when I don't get respected, but not in a violent way. I will sometimes confront them or just do something to calm me down.
It's weird that rarely, I want to burst out in tears. When I do and am alone, I just give in. It comes out of the blue, I'm happy one sec. then I want to weep after.
Neediness has gone down. When I notice it, I try to control myself and succeed.
Halfway in this stage, I had a major loss of motivation. I was reading John Alexander's book up till the affirmations and dressing part where I got bored and stopped reading. I didn't want to go to work either. I still listen to the sub and now my motivation is slowly coming back up. I think I can attribute that to reading other people's journal here it reminds me of what I want to achieve, where I want to go, thanks guys.
I read that Sex Magnet 2.0 features that Shannon posted on Ryan's journal, I drooled. I can't wait to try that!
Also, I dropped Aura of Sexiness since the post above. Thanks Shannon, It actually helped because rather than distract myself with these women giving me eye contact, instead I've dealth with my feelings for this girl. I spent a lot of time thinking about me and her. I look and think of her everyday but I'm starting to see that this girl isn't for me. The more I go out, the more I think that this girl is not what I want. It's just letting go of her that is hard. Whenver I think about it my mind goes to WHAT IFs. What if this works out and so on..
I've yet to use Disconnect From Negativity Within sub, I will purchase it this week and start my new year journey with it. I'm feeling good things will happpen in my life in 2012.
I'm beginning to get outside my comfort zone easier. A voice in my head used to say negative things that try to keep me in my comfort zone like you'll embarrass yourself, you have no appropriate clothes etc, but now It's like there's another one that pushes me out to change and go for what I want. Since starting AM2011, I've been going out when asked, I usually turn down most of them prior.
When around new people, I am so timid and shy before that I don't even try to join the conversation. Its like I listen and put the conversation in my head and join in it. I mean I'm still shy and hesitant but I do give out my opinion and curiosity about the subject now. I think about what they are thinking about me less and less since the start of this sub. If I do think about I distract myself and listen to the conversation again. I find confidence in little things like now I'm able to intervene or ask a sparring partner in my martial arts class, still shy and thinking too much but am slowlyy going for it.
I get agitated and furious when I don't get respected, but not in a violent way. I will sometimes confront them or just do something to calm me down.
It's weird that rarely, I want to burst out in tears. When I do and am alone, I just give in. It comes out of the blue, I'm happy one sec. then I want to weep after.
Neediness has gone down. When I notice it, I try to control myself and succeed.
Halfway in this stage, I had a major loss of motivation. I was reading John Alexander's book up till the affirmations and dressing part where I got bored and stopped reading. I didn't want to go to work either. I still listen to the sub and now my motivation is slowly coming back up. I think I can attribute that to reading other people's journal here it reminds me of what I want to achieve, where I want to go, thanks guys.
I read that Sex Magnet 2.0 features that Shannon posted on Ryan's journal, I drooled. I can't wait to try that!
Also, I dropped Aura of Sexiness since the post above. Thanks Shannon, It actually helped because rather than distract myself with these women giving me eye contact, instead I've dealth with my feelings for this girl. I spent a lot of time thinking about me and her. I look and think of her everyday but I'm starting to see that this girl isn't for me. The more I go out, the more I think that this girl is not what I want. It's just letting go of her that is hard. Whenver I think about it my mind goes to WHAT IFs. What if this works out and so on..
I've yet to use Disconnect From Negativity Within sub, I will purchase it this week and start my new year journey with it. I'm feeling good things will happpen in my life in 2012.
