12-14-2011, 03:58 AM
10th Day of AM2011
It has been, and still is a roller coaster with my emotions. It's almost happening everyday. Everyday I wake up, I feel so down with jealousy and regret that I feel paranoid. My mind keeps thinking whether I should forget this girl or just slow down. If I choose to forget her and focus only on myself for now, my mind becomes concrete about it. I feel confident and see myself six months from now when I finish Alpha Male sub, I see a better self than what I am. But then a few hours later I realize I still want her and I try to brush off all this jealousy and neediness so I can be with her. Neediness has toned down, but it is still there. I can sense when I'm being needy but I submit to it.
I feel very tired everyday. But that can be attributed to my lack of sleep I think, I usually rest from midnight til 6am.
I'm starting to think about whether I'm on the right track with this sub or not, or if I'm doing the right thing and the right decision. One thing is clear though, I will complete this journey no matter what!
It has been, and still is a roller coaster with my emotions. It's almost happening everyday. Everyday I wake up, I feel so down with jealousy and regret that I feel paranoid. My mind keeps thinking whether I should forget this girl or just slow down. If I choose to forget her and focus only on myself for now, my mind becomes concrete about it. I feel confident and see myself six months from now when I finish Alpha Male sub, I see a better self than what I am. But then a few hours later I realize I still want her and I try to brush off all this jealousy and neediness so I can be with her. Neediness has toned down, but it is still there. I can sense when I'm being needy but I submit to it.
I feel very tired everyday. But that can be attributed to my lack of sleep I think, I usually rest from midnight til 6am.
I'm starting to think about whether I'm on the right track with this sub or not, or if I'm doing the right thing and the right decision. One thing is clear though, I will complete this journey no matter what!
