03-10-2017, 09:04 AM
Day 9 (again)
Not really sure what to report of the past days.. Not much. I wrote that I haven't been that hungry, but that has been turning around now. Not as revenous as on MHS, but still. I got my nice deep voice back during the first days.
I started using a perfume I haven't used 1-2 days BEFORE 3.1, and the gf commented on how good it was.. then 1-2 into dmsi she said it smells really good and *even better* than last time, and a third day she said "oh you have that on... you smell really good". So.. well, funny coincidence.
As to if girls initiate sex, the current gf usually initiates sex. I don't even like it women initiating sex, because I'll always feel a little pressured and start wondering what head space do I happen to be in and "how the hell am I supposed to rev myself up now all of a sudden" (internal dialogue). The image of of what feeling real turned on and powerful feels like, and the gap of not being there and not knowing what to do about it. Helps to focus on the physical sensations. Once I get turned on, the dialogue disappears.
In general, I've always hated being rushed or pressured to do anything. I just seek to be left alone, and only then will my internal voice kinda rise and I'll know what I want to do and then I'll go do that. Otherwise I'm more or less in drifter or survival mode until I get my break. Don't really know why I need that absence of attention and especially expectations directed towards me to stop before I can disconnect and reorient. After I have my direction I don't mind the attention anymore. I love attention, actually. One of the more annoying aspects of introversion, I guess.
Not really sure what to report of the past days.. Not much. I wrote that I haven't been that hungry, but that has been turning around now. Not as revenous as on MHS, but still. I got my nice deep voice back during the first days.
I started using a perfume I haven't used 1-2 days BEFORE 3.1, and the gf commented on how good it was.. then 1-2 into dmsi she said it smells really good and *even better* than last time, and a third day she said "oh you have that on... you smell really good". So.. well, funny coincidence.
As to if girls initiate sex, the current gf usually initiates sex. I don't even like it women initiating sex, because I'll always feel a little pressured and start wondering what head space do I happen to be in and "how the hell am I supposed to rev myself up now all of a sudden" (internal dialogue). The image of of what feeling real turned on and powerful feels like, and the gap of not being there and not knowing what to do about it. Helps to focus on the physical sensations. Once I get turned on, the dialogue disappears.
In general, I've always hated being rushed or pressured to do anything. I just seek to be left alone, and only then will my internal voice kinda rise and I'll know what I want to do and then I'll go do that. Otherwise I'm more or less in drifter or survival mode until I get my break. Don't really know why I need that absence of attention and especially expectations directed towards me to stop before I can disconnect and reorient. After I have my direction I don't mind the attention anymore. I love attention, actually. One of the more annoying aspects of introversion, I guess.
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
