01-12-2017, 09:05 AM
In the last 7 days, twice I was forced to only run one loop of A for the day. Not literally forced, of course, but I'd like to avoid listening at night at all costs... something feels weird to me about it.
Anyway... both times I've noticed I'm more social, more positive and with better self confidence on the day after. Three possible explanations, as far as I can tell:
1) Running one loop simply works better for me
2) I'm experiencing a minor "bloom" effect (or simply less mental fatigue)
3) The mere fact that I'm changing something around makes me more observant and present, which leads to everything else
Now, explanation #3 probably sounds far-fetched, but seems plausible to me. I generally get bored with repetitive tasks and I know I'm getting a bit annoyed at doing the same thing every day.
Anyway... last 7 days I was also forced to stay with my parents'. The temperatures through this last week were in the range between -20 and -15 Celsius. At these temperatures my air conditioners stop working, while my parents' apartment has central heating.
Being on my own today for the first time in the last 7 days... feels scary to me for some reason. With DMSI, there's often a fear I'm experiencing (and probably healing from). I've had the "luxury" to constantly be able to project it onto somebody for the last week. Now, I have no choice but to be alone with it. Not a pleasant sensation and experience, but even writing about it helps.
I'm also finding myself out of touch with my usual lifestyle. This probably started to happen around the 23rd of December when I got sick. Since then, a lot of stuff has shifted and now I don't think I can return to the same lifestyle even if I tried. I guess I'll be working out how to live my life again.
F*ck... it's only been 3 weeks and I feel as if I've been out for months at least. It's fine when I have to adapt to my day-to-day changes, but 3 weeks is... way too much. These are first world problems though... not complaining at all.
Anyway... both times I've noticed I'm more social, more positive and with better self confidence on the day after. Three possible explanations, as far as I can tell:
1) Running one loop simply works better for me
2) I'm experiencing a minor "bloom" effect (or simply less mental fatigue)
3) The mere fact that I'm changing something around makes me more observant and present, which leads to everything else
Now, explanation #3 probably sounds far-fetched, but seems plausible to me. I generally get bored with repetitive tasks and I know I'm getting a bit annoyed at doing the same thing every day.
Anyway... last 7 days I was also forced to stay with my parents'. The temperatures through this last week were in the range between -20 and -15 Celsius. At these temperatures my air conditioners stop working, while my parents' apartment has central heating.
Being on my own today for the first time in the last 7 days... feels scary to me for some reason. With DMSI, there's often a fear I'm experiencing (and probably healing from). I've had the "luxury" to constantly be able to project it onto somebody for the last week. Now, I have no choice but to be alone with it. Not a pleasant sensation and experience, but even writing about it helps.
I'm also finding myself out of touch with my usual lifestyle. This probably started to happen around the 23rd of December when I got sick. Since then, a lot of stuff has shifted and now I don't think I can return to the same lifestyle even if I tried. I guess I'll be working out how to live my life again.
F*ck... it's only been 3 weeks and I feel as if I've been out for months at least. It's fine when I have to adapt to my day-to-day changes, but 3 weeks is... way too much. These are first world problems though... not complaining at all.
