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[SargeMaximus]

The desired outcome could be the same. But that doesn't mean that they are not different things, like the knife and the shoe. And thus they'd work in different ways (assuming that they work ), like the knife would cut a steak in a different way than the shoe. You're not gonna get the same clean cut with a shoe...

That's exactly my point.

Calm and collected = shoe.

I'd classify these 2 statements as the same exact. It's called the law of polarity. If you believe in that kinda stuff, or interested, I'd say google it. It's pretty interesting to me at least.

I might check it out.

But I'm sure you agree that hatred can emerge from (or even because of) love in many cases.

Not trying to jump in where I'm not welcome with an opinion, but this is an interesting debate. I think love and hate are different sides of the same coin.

The opposite of love isn't hate in my opinion, it's indifference. True indifference aimed towards someone is probably the cruelest action one human being can show to another.

And in the few instances in my life when I have showed indifference to a woman, I had emotionally destroyed them. Not proud of it, but I have seen the aftermath of my actions. It wasn't pretty.

Interesting. I know I'm already pretty indifferent, and most of my successes come from "darker" emotional states (i.e. The DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE :o lol) but I've not seen much in the way of "aftermath".

Can you elaborate on that?

I'm going back for this example. I was around 21 at the time and I was dating probably one of the most gorgeous girls in school. She had most men around her thumb, and it's true what they say, the more attractive the girl is the more insecure she is.

Anyway I had dated her for a few months and aside from having amazing sex, all we did was fight. She was pretty high maintenance and she was one of the first relationships I had since my previous gf passed. I just got to a point where nothing she did mattered to me.

In the end I slept with some other girl and then broke up with her. When she asked me why I did what I did, I just remember how calm and detached I was, and I told her that I did it because I didn't feel anything for her anymore.

She was angry and emotional and I had nothing. No regret or sympathy. And she saw that on my face I'm sure. I was just completely indifferent to her.

It didn't help that all of this happened on Christmas morning and she showed up at my doorstep while the other girl was there (she had stayed over from the night before).

She fell apart not long after - drugs and drinking binges. She put on a lot of weight. She did all these things to basically destroy herself, almost in an effort to validate my lack of feelings for her.

She ended up in a rehab center at some point over the next year and many of the people who knew both of us held me responsible. There was a lot of fallout. She told our mutual friends that she just wanted me back. They told me to go talk to her and salvage it in an effort to at least help her out of the downward spiral she was in.

I didn't, I wouldn't. Eventually most of those people stopped speaking to me and eventually she came out of her tailspin, though it took her a long while.

In the end, that experience broke something inside of me actually, because that feeling of indifference became more prominent with several women I had dated into my late 20's and even my 30's.

Looking back, there were a lot of women I hurt really badly, because for a lot of them it went beyond just sex. They got their emotions involved and said they loved me. And I didn't see them as anything more than a hole to bang and a distraction.

So, yeah, indifference will break a woman. Because I think women want to be the one that breaks through the barrier. It becomes a project for them. And so they get invested, at some point beyond their controls. And that's when it falls apart for them.

Interesting. You can't blame yourself though. Her actions are her own, and her emotions are within her control. As we know from all the self-development teachers and trains of thought that all say pretty much the same thing: http://fragmentsofevolution.org/the-impo...-emotions/

In my opinion, she was just trying to manipulate you by hurting herself.