I have been having Insomnia for the past week. I am staying up till 5:00am like it is nothing. No energy drinks, but very small amounts of caffine. This is unusual, but makes perfect sense. I have been learning the basics of Alchemy, the pretext is actually quite facinating. I can hardly wait till my novice and advanced books are delivered! I don't really care for the turning lead into gold, but that would be helpful lol 
Transmutations and DNA transformation are making me stir crazy. Alchemy is more spirtual than anything. Refining and purifying the soul and mind until perfection. There was a Japanese police officer who lived about 100 years ago, that was so devouted to his work, he trained an additional two hours on his martial arts and punching his stone wall after work. Over the course of several years, his hand developed ridgid calcium deposits on his knuckles. He was reknowned for knocking out criminals in a single punch. Hell, if a guy with that amount of training hit me, I could be out as well. I have been almost obsessed with fire. Not the typical pyro. I don't enjoy burning everything in sight just cause I can. I love how the flames are so tantalysing, and how each flame dances across the rim of the logs. This book I ordered in the far advanced sections teaches about DNA manipulation. The ability to harness and control fire as long as a source is avialable. >
In addition, Criss Angel has added himself on my list of role models. His passion to achieve the impossible, and drive to become the best version of himself is 100% qualifacation. Several demonstrations he performed amazed me to the point of future study. For example: becoming a human candle, levitation, vodoo, mentalism, the influence of a shadow.
I am shocking myself on a daily basis of who I have become. Comparing my 14, 16, and even pre-alpha stages of my life to now are monumental. The way I talk, the way I think, the way I act still possess their innate qualities, just amplified to unordinary measures. It is odd, I can delve deep into my mind and recount my previous ways, and instantly brought back into my current self-being. This is quite creepy lol.
My current goals are:
-Land a job or grandure source of income
-Master my mind && body
-Perfect my balance and flexibilty
-Perform alchemy (hopefully some interesting transmutation)
-Finish all my reading materials
-Get back into martial arts
-Take care of other unfinished business
@Mat
Yes, very true. It is almost frieghtening how easy of a domino effect can take place even in First World civilizations. Like the Jersey Shore, faux hawks, obsession that money and/careers are the core of your identity. Kids and teenagers soak up information like a sponge, whether good or bad. I know there is nothing new under the sun, but technology and transportation have definitely played their role in accelerating the growth of the intensity of growing up. I tried several times to find my true self, but always came up short. The truth was I didn't have to find myself at all. I just had to realize I am who I am, and have the full measure to do anything with my life.
I was never really possessed social anxiety until I hit rock bottom. The depression came with a flux of other problems. Rising above from the bottom I say would be a key source of motivation. When you can say you went from nothing into a spectacular person, it makes you wonder, wha could you possibly achieve from your current situation compared to the earlier.
This is hard to put in words, but I'll do my best. In some ways I feel I am surpass mentally compared to others, yet emotionally and experience less. I have time on my side, yet how much time do I really have?
** I am having difficulty with my reality. Why am I here? How does this world exist? How do I operate in my own little world, while jointly being connected to 7,000,000,000 others who are capable of the exact same circumstances? If everything is made up of energy, what is the difference between my wooden chair and this computer? If my conscious life is a more stable reality vs. my more chaotic dream patterns, how do I fashion my reality to become exactly the way I want it? How do I do what is deemed impossible to second-nature?
LOL, I feel like a modern Aristotle with all the questions.
Transmutations and DNA transformation are making me stir crazy. Alchemy is more spirtual than anything. Refining and purifying the soul and mind until perfection. There was a Japanese police officer who lived about 100 years ago, that was so devouted to his work, he trained an additional two hours on his martial arts and punching his stone wall after work. Over the course of several years, his hand developed ridgid calcium deposits on his knuckles. He was reknowned for knocking out criminals in a single punch. Hell, if a guy with that amount of training hit me, I could be out as well. I have been almost obsessed with fire. Not the typical pyro. I don't enjoy burning everything in sight just cause I can. I love how the flames are so tantalysing, and how each flame dances across the rim of the logs. This book I ordered in the far advanced sections teaches about DNA manipulation. The ability to harness and control fire as long as a source is avialable. >In addition, Criss Angel has added himself on my list of role models. His passion to achieve the impossible, and drive to become the best version of himself is 100% qualifacation. Several demonstrations he performed amazed me to the point of future study. For example: becoming a human candle, levitation, vodoo, mentalism, the influence of a shadow.
I am shocking myself on a daily basis of who I have become. Comparing my 14, 16, and even pre-alpha stages of my life to now are monumental. The way I talk, the way I think, the way I act still possess their innate qualities, just amplified to unordinary measures. It is odd, I can delve deep into my mind and recount my previous ways, and instantly brought back into my current self-being. This is quite creepy lol.
My current goals are:
-Land a job or grandure source of income
-Master my mind && body
-Perfect my balance and flexibilty
-Perform alchemy (hopefully some interesting transmutation)
-Finish all my reading materials
-Get back into martial arts
-Take care of other unfinished business
@Mat
Yes, very true. It is almost frieghtening how easy of a domino effect can take place even in First World civilizations. Like the Jersey Shore, faux hawks, obsession that money and/careers are the core of your identity. Kids and teenagers soak up information like a sponge, whether good or bad. I know there is nothing new under the sun, but technology and transportation have definitely played their role in accelerating the growth of the intensity of growing up. I tried several times to find my true self, but always came up short. The truth was I didn't have to find myself at all. I just had to realize I am who I am, and have the full measure to do anything with my life.
I was never really possessed social anxiety until I hit rock bottom. The depression came with a flux of other problems. Rising above from the bottom I say would be a key source of motivation. When you can say you went from nothing into a spectacular person, it makes you wonder, wha could you possibly achieve from your current situation compared to the earlier.
This is hard to put in words, but I'll do my best. In some ways I feel I am surpass mentally compared to others, yet emotionally and experience less. I have time on my side, yet how much time do I really have?
** I am having difficulty with my reality. Why am I here? How does this world exist? How do I operate in my own little world, while jointly being connected to 7,000,000,000 others who are capable of the exact same circumstances? If everything is made up of energy, what is the difference between my wooden chair and this computer? If my conscious life is a more stable reality vs. my more chaotic dream patterns, how do I fashion my reality to become exactly the way I want it? How do I do what is deemed impossible to second-nature?
LOL, I feel like a modern Aristotle with all the questions.
Live your life the way YOU desire
