Leonidas AM Journey

[Leonidas]

Hey man I hope you're ready for stage two, heard it's a tough but fulfulling one. I got a sense that this program is going to have great affects on you after all this. Appreciate the updates.

Thanks

Fonzy

Thank You Fonzy, I have heard lot to things about Stage 2 too.

[Leonidas]

I was all down, all depressed and weak and hopeless when I had an realization that I have to and will take full responsibility of my life, no matter what, I begin a new life today. I will not be dependent upon outside influence and only those influence will enter my mind which I chose to, both subconsciously and consciously, I begin a new life today. I will let AM do it's job in the background and almost completely forget it while I open a new chapter of my life and do things consciously to get to the next level, I begin a new life.

I don't know why I made this realization now, almost at the end of Stage 1, maybe it's scripted to work that way, whatever

The girl I met online is just what I need at the moment, I can't stress it enough if she's a manifestation of some sort or what, she is always there like a friend whenever I am down, I have hardly felt such a deep connection with anybody in my life, may be never. She's been not only fulfilling all my emotional needs but sexual needs as well, though I would prefer real physical girls for that.

[Leonidas]

STAGE 1 Summary


Honesty- Almost always, the most important change, honest with myself and other, the other day my teacher asked why didn't you come to college, my reply, 'I don't have an answer Mam, I have no reason'.

Feeling of High Class - like someone injected something in and around my chest, shoulder and arms, there's a different feeling there.

Assertive - like I will do what I want to do, this way or that way or I'll go after what I want. Period.

Posture - I sit like a King would sit in his throne

Personal Responsibility - I have come to a realization that I and only I control my life, if something goes wrong, I blame myself, if something goes right, I majorly credit myself.

Importance - I feel a lot more important and valuable to the world than I was feeling a month ago

No BS - Few days ago my Mother did something she shouldn't do, she threw my headphones on the ground, I am not that kind of person who gets angry that easily but that day was different I got very very angry. Like if you have watched Godfather II, when Kay says to Michael that she has aborted their child, how his face turns all red. That kind of anger I am talking about, it's very rare but it did happen.

More Self Acceptance, Increase in Self-Love, Self-Esteem, Confidence stays there, maybe because I used ASC before it.

No need or desire to socialize, it stays there. No change.

No outer changes I can mention here, yeah, hell lot of internal changes, I definitely have a better/positive self-image of myself.

I either felt angry, or I felt sad/depressed during this stage. Right now I am angry.

It's been hard, it's been tough, but it's been equally fun, Stage 2 begins..

[FluffyBunny]

That looks better then mine LOL.
i started my AM5 subs after i was on "quit mode" for couple months
i didnt notice any single changes during my first 4 Stages HAha
cause i was always home and shit...
other then depress as hell on stage 1, and half of two.
after that half of 2 ,3,4 i felt nothing lol.

On Stage 5 i got back to school and decided alright thats start gaming again hehe. then i started to notice the changes that have already been made.

so looks like ur on the right track .

when u say no desire to socialize. that a side effect i kinda have.
there was no desire for me to approach any woman....
cause the things i think is . if ur an alpha male.... u should have woman around you already.
u dont need approach woman to get woman.
once in a while i push myself a little and talk to one of those super hot girls lol.
im sure my desire will sky rock after i run SM3.....
but approaching and socializing is a little different....
i still socialize at school. cause girls are just around you.... hard not to socialize.

btw are u in university or like working???

[Leonidas]

i still socialize at school. cause girls are just around you.... hard not to socialize.

btw are u in university or like working???

I do not socialize right now, it's hard not to not socialize. Between I have just started Stage 2, still a long way to go..

I am in University.

[Leonidas]

Just 3 days in Stage 2 and I loving it so far, it is building upon Stage 1, I am more dominant and assertive, a lot more. I am sexually submissive but these days I am not enjoying it as I used to do before beginning Alpha/Dominant Male.

These are my thoughts nowadays..

I am strong, of course I am, but strong doesn't mean being a jerk, I am acting like a jerk, oh, I may hurt somebody, I don't want to hurt people, wait, there's a solution, be soft, oh yes..but wait, I am 'being' soft I am not feeling good, I am doing injustice? Not being myself, what about Just Be Yourself, I am not being myself, man up, be strong, no be soft, don't give a fuck, I am giving a fuck, so be strong, no problem if I appear as a jerk. Yes, STRONG, CONFIDENT, FUUUCCK!, I don't care if I hurt somebody.

Today I tasted what it really means to not give a fuck, a normal day, no socialization, feeling sad why didn't I talk? Why don't I open up? Why don't I fit it? Why don't people consider me? Why?

FUUCCCCCK!! I don't care, I got so very angry and out of that came a Strong, and more importantly a happy Man, a Free Man. I did not beat myself and asked Why? And that moment I took of control my reality, my happiness not depending upon how well I gel up with people, happy from inside, within my own reality.

Be, Do, F&*).

[Leonidas]

self-doubt kicking in...

[Leonidas]

Stage 2 (8 Days) has been a breeze so far, no major negative emotions stirred up, just a bit here and there.

ASC was tough, Stage 1 was tougher, and Stage 2, till now, nothing, I find it very strange.

[Leonidas]

It's feel like that nothing is happening, absolutely nothing, I am not happy, I am not sad, it's just that I am feeling down, wanting to give up, just break free!

Meanwhile, I do not feel any form of anxiety or discomfort around hot girls, I can now look the hottest of girls in the eye and maintain it. The more attractive she is, the easier it gets, and also there is no neediness, not at all. I do not change my behavior according to what she may like, I be just what I want to be. Earlier, I used to chose my words very carefully around them, but now, most of the time, I say what comes to my mind and when I do that I have generally noticed them going into kind of a mini trance.

And not only girls but also people in general, they do not affect my reality and most importantly my emotions as they used to do before it. Of course, there's a long way to go, but yes I am making progress.

Everything comes from within.

I believe it strongly than ever. There's absolute personal responsibility.

What else...



Sums it up.

[Leonidas]

I CANNOT STAND MY PARENTS :@

I just want to leave the house right now and live on my own, they are trying to block me in so many ways, I can't breathe. To be very true I feel ashamed to be called their son, and as an individual their thinking just piss me off.

I can't leave the house but I have decided to do my stuff on my own, cook my own food, laundry and all these stuffs. It will certainly be time consuming and my exams are coming up too but I don't see a better alternative, action is action nonetheless, better than nothing.

Meanwhile, there's something happening, I can sense the opening. I can see myself evolving, though it's still unclear but still very noticeable. I strongly feel that something's going to happen, I don't what but there's strong anticipation building up inside, like a child eager to open up his gifts.

[Leonidas]

As far as I can make out right now, there are only two kinds of people, those who DO and those who DON'T. And it's not rocket science for me to figure out that I fall into the category of don'ts.

If I look back at my life and look at the people I have mostly manifested in my life I only see don'ts and the people who DO, as I grew older, kept going further and further away, this is the only reason I can perceive right now is the root of my problem as far as friends and social circle is concerned. I am transitioning from the man who don't to the man who do and the people, mostly don'ts, with whom I come in contact with on daily basis, no wonder I find them more and more irritating these days as I find myself irritating for not taking action.

The people who do, no wonder they look down upon me. I deserve it, but not anymore...

[Leonidas]

Resistance kicks into high gear...

All my resistance or all what my subconscious is trying to reason against the programming has very noticeable effects.

The need to validate from others is way up.
No desire to socialize, I just want to curl up in a corner, like a little baby.
I had nightmares, AND...

...my physical appearance has changed unfavorably, my skin seems like almost dead, there's no glow like it used to be, dark spots been formed, to sum it up I look way way older than I am.

I am no expert but I think that the resistance, more or less, is based upon fear. I think OGSF would benefit me a lot. Though I know it's in AM 6.0 but I do not think I could resist for that long because I have few others subs planned after this.

So, is it OK to compliment my Alpha training with OGSF keeping in mind that this is my first run? And, if yes, in which stage should I in-corporate it? Or whenever.

On the brighter side of the road...

I am more disciplined and focused than I have ever been, distractions worry me not, I am more aware of myself and the world around me and the most importantly I am gaining clarity over different matters that were haunting me since I started these subs.

That's all I can think right now. I need some sleep.

EDIT:

Shannon, I think you should rebuild AM 5 with OGSF in it whenever you have enough time to do so and more so if AM 5 is used as a Level I and other programs SM/WM/AM 6 as Level II. It's the base level programming where it's mostly required.

[Leonidas]

This is so amazing!!

I never expected such growth in such a short period of time, now if I look myself now and look at the person who used to be me before starting the training, WOW! What a difference, I am just on another level right now. Of course, things get shaky sometimes due to resistance but other than that...

TV doesn't interest me, haven't watched it since ages. Movies doesn't, sports (watching) doesn't, news doesn't, and whatever that doesn't aid me in becoming the strongest version of myself DOES NOT INTEREST ME.

And, that goes to all the things that I stuck upon.

I haven't watched any porn whatsoever in last 6 days, not even masturbated, and have no desire to do so, this is a BIG breakthrough.

My old patterns of habits and routines are wearing out and I am much more productive than before, much more disciplined, much more focused. I don't have to force myself to do things, most of the time, everything happens naturally.

And on top of that what is great is that my parents are, unstably but slowly, adapting to the new me. Yes!

The people who used to be my friends, don'ts, I can't even be near them and feel uncomfortable, I am like leave me alone I don't want to be with you. I hate to say it but I better have have no friends than to have them.

I broke up with the girl I met online 3 weeks ago, short relationship but a meaningful one. She gave me what I needed the most, at that time. Sooner or later, it was time to move on.

But, that's not important, what fascinates me more is that I have absolutely NO NEEDINESS to be with her, people come and go, of course I felt bad, still feeling the blues, I have always been a very sensitive person, so I expected that, BUT it is nothing compared to my previous relationship, I was so needy and desperate, literally begged her to convince her to not to leave me. But NOW, I took the charge, made a final decision (I had an option) and said goodbye.

She gave me an inch, I took a mile.

That is all.

[Leonidas]

Just quick update on my week one of No Fap/No Porn Challenge and how it has effected me till now.

• Now, my voice comes out sharp and crisp unlike before, I tend to go on a much higher tone when speaking.
  
• I am more appreciative of the girls, even a 7 looks like a 9.
  

That's it for now, there's definitely going to be a lot of additions in the future.

It's getting hard, but I am sure I am gonna make it.

And, after battling through all the options I decided to run these subliminals after finishing AM 5.0..

• OGSF, most probably for 90 days or longer, I want to nail it down.
  
• Alpha Male Refresher, 32 days.
  
• BIATBW and AOS combo, from anywhere between 30 to 90 days.
  
• Again, Alpha Male Refresher, 32 days.
  
• AYP Sexual Lover/Dominant Sexual Lover.
  

In the meantime I am going to save up for AM 6.0 and hop on the Alpha train again.