RD's Journal

[redragon]

I felt a difference in what I felt when I won the raffle. It feels like winning is natural to me or something like "yeah, I know I am gonna win, I always win anyway." Way back then I may have rejoiced so much that I could not believe that I won.

[Yuri]

so u can run LM and US together?

[redragon]

I am only running LM. I also run ASC for 1-2 hours a day.

[Spiral]

Biakoia, You may run US and LM together JUST as long as you use the 3G version of US. the two are hybrids in their 4G versions and LM 3G is no longer available.

[redragon]

So far my workload has become lighter for the past few days. Im really not sure if its just like an off peak season or its the subs working. I feel that the subs are are working even if you are not listening to it at the moment as I feel differently inside and my brain is getting used to the pulsations.

[redragon]

Ok so I went 2x to a casino with 2 weeks apart, I did win some money, 30$ and another 60$ in the 2nd week. So far so good. I have not increased my bets yet as I am not that comfortable to lose.

[redragon]

I won again 20$, enough for me to pay some bills and eat something nice.

[redragon]

I am having a hard time now using earphones when i sleep. I move left and right and then the earphones just keep getting disconnected from my ears. So i decided to buy a good quality JBL speakers with 20kHz FR, tested it with the test audio track and it sounds ok. I tried it once when I slept yesterday using the ultrasonic track and when I woke up, I feel cool inside my head, not as much as when I sleep with my earphones on. By then I knew the ultrasonic track is working with my speakers. Although I may not be getting the full benefits like with the earphones, I am still experiencing it (when I move my body sideways my one of my ears gets covered by my pillow) which is better than having all the earphones disconnected to both of my ears.

[redragon]

I am changed my sub to US 4G and will use it for 6 months. LM continuously pushed me to get US probably for better results to improve my career. For the past few weeks i have been thinking and contemplating how can I improve my career and my work. I found myself continuously browsing the US page so I switched to US a week ago. So far I feel really good inside and I feel my confidence increased as a side effect.

[redragon]

Stage 1 of AM
Day 1

After 10-15 hours of listening:
-I have 2 dreams like in the horror movies, and 1 dream where someone lost my laptop. I may have some fears coming up inside and that may have caused some of my BETA traits.
-Still getting some euphoria with the previous US sub this morning
-I felt anger slowly building, sometimes it just pops up, I felt that I should have stood up in the past, Some thoughts of where I did not stood up just because I believed that there is no use and I also have fears standing up. I learned,realized,absorbed,internalized that it is important to stand up for your own even if it turns to violence.
-I am now seeing that my previous BETA behavior is not good, a little bit of disappointment that I acted and behaved that way.
-I am realizing that I need to change for the better and I slowly accepting that the new behavior is better.
-More angry thoughts coming up but it is still manageable so far.

[THolt]

Are you using earphones for AM by any chance ?

[redragon]

Yes. Earphones & headphones (i mostly use headphones)- for the masked, and speakers for Ultrasonics during sleep.

[redragon]

This morning I felt sadness, I reminisced all the hardships that I went through in the past.

[redragon]

Day 3 I feel much less anger and sadness. Its more like short bursts and then it subsides but generally I felt much better and happier.

Day 4 I feel calm and relaxed. I notice that somehow my way of thinking is now different, I cannot specify exactly the thoughts right now but I am thinking more matured and more responsible. I am less reactive than Day 1. There is not much drain for me for stage 1 of AM, unlike LM and US where I really feel tired after an hour of listening, id guess Stage 1 is a type b sub and not a type d,and since I am not that drained I will try to listen to the sub while working.