EHPRA6

[Frosted]

I think I understand the issues coming up lately. I realized it’s just the things I’m working on. The feeling of validation seeking is because I’m reclaiming parts of myself that were suppressed and rejected. For the longest time I have avoided social interaction to avoid being hurt and because I had rejected parts of myself that I didn’t like. I also hold back parts of myself to not be “needy” or a “taker”. The funny things is is that people seem to be reacting positively despite my internal negative feelings while expressing these parts of myself.

The feeling like I could be a target of ridicule is because I’m being more authentic and vulnerable. A lot of the “negative” stuff I’m experiencing on the surface is due to the inner work being done. Again, back to an earlier post when I talked about weakness and pain being a sign that progress is being made.

Yesterday was a reminder that I’m not living the life I want to live yet. Until I heal my pain and overcome gsf anyone can have power over me. I might be non reactive to the pain, but they can still have control over me by stifling me. I want to be my own person and fuck what the world thinks. Freedom.

Edit: E6 is exactly what I need right now. I can see and feel how it’s affecting me in real time and It’s basically like reviving the dead. I’m becoming a part of the world again. Like a piece of fabric that had fallen away, being stitched back into a tapestry.

[callie]

I believe that most of the problem I’m facing with subs is resistance. I’m not new to subliminals, and I understand that the journey is far from easy, which is OK. It has already been very challenging for me over the years, but I continue and keep coming back because I’ve had positive experiences as well. Additionally, journals like yours motivate me to keep going.

Resistance on E6 hasn’t been as intense as it’s been with other subs, but it’s still enough to leave me feeling depressed. I hope you’re right, and that it will be worth it in the end. I appreciate your novel, as you called it - it does motivate me a bit

Thanks man I’m glad you’re inspired. The journey can be brutal at times.

If you’re highly resistant and not getting the results you want from subs I recommend sticking to latest tech and focusing on healing and clearing for the foreseeable future. That’s basically the approach I took and it payed off. What’s your sub history?

Basically been using every healing title since OFv1. Never really did a full run-through though, despite setting my intention to do so each time. 

Also, I might have jumped to conclusions about resistance. While it does play a significant role, there's also a part of me that has grown to hate myself, rooted in emotional pain from my childhood. I often mistake this for resistance because of the intense physical symptoms it can produce.

And yeah, I'm only sticking to latest tech. I don't see a reason not to.

[Frosted]

Thanks man I’m glad you’re inspired. The journey can be brutal at times.

If you’re highly resistant and not getting the results you want from subs I recommend sticking to latest tech and focusing on healing and clearing for the foreseeable future. That’s basically the approach I took and it payed off. What’s your sub history?

Basically been using every healing title since OFv1. Never really did a full run-through though, despite setting my intention to do so each time. 

Also, I might have jumped to conclusions about resistance. While it does play a significant role, there's also a part of me that has grown to hate myself, rooted in emotional pain from my childhood. I often mistake this for resistance because of the intense physical symptoms it can produce.

And yeah, I'm only sticking to latest tech. I don't see a reason not to.

Finishing is important. “Greater than the sum of its parts” is a quote that captures the gap between stopping partway through and completing a run. Over multiple titles, you’re robbing yourself of tons of growth. But don’t beat yourself over the head for not finishing in the past. Focus on finishing this run of E6 no matter what.

Yeah it’s interesting. I can’t speak for your experience, but in my experience, the pain that comes up feels like contraction but paradoxically is actually from releasing. It’s like putting a dissolving tablet in water and thinking the tablet isn’t dissolving because you see a film develop on the surface. The film obscures the process, but paradoxically is a sign that it’s working.

I’ve had deep issues as well that have come up over and over and have had my doubts as well. The only reason I continued with so much healing/clearing despite essentially getting beat over the head with pain constantly was because I recognized I wasn’t getting the results I wanted from subs. I recognized my desire to run another sub to fulfill a desire as bs, since I couldn’t achieve the level of result I wanted. It’s like wanting to leave the hospital and go skiing while my whole body is broken, so that I can escape the pain of my whole body being broken lol. Healing is what we need, but our brain tries to trick us to want other things that paradoxically we can get if we keep focusing on healing/clearing.

[Frosted]

Getting great results lately. It just feels so ordinary at times that it gets overlooked or rationalized away.

[Frosted]

Had a vivid dream where there were two really hot girls and it was like I was being rehabilitated to not be traumatized around them. I ended up slowly kissing them and just in general releasing my trauma around deservedness. It wasn’t like this hot thing, it was like this emotional thing where I was healing. It was like my brain was training me to not be traumatized around women. I’ve had this before with social skills as well. E6 the goat!

[Frosted]

I’m not fully sure yet what E6 is doing, but it almost seems like it’s sneaking up on me. There are things that are happening to me that are hard to explain and a lot are intuited by subtle signs I notice that I’m not fully conscious of.

One of the more obvious of these signs was when I was walking back from the beach today and just suddenly went still and stared off in the distance. I felt a depth in my body I can’t explain and that I don’t ever remember experiencing before. I’m not in that state now, but from my faint memory of it, it almost seemed like I faded into the world for a few seconds. Like the “outline” of my body nearly fully dissolved for a moment. Meanwhile I didn’t think about it too much and just kept walking lol.

I also notice a lot of little signs like the one just described that all paint a picture that something profound is going on beneath the surface, but somehow even though logically I know that this shit is crazy, it doesn’t feel that crazy emotionally (even as I’m typing this). My reality is such that a profound transformation is happening to me and it feels like a trip to the grocery store. It’s preposterous, and yet it continues.

I also have a litany of embarrassing issues I’m also dealing with. It’s like I’m reliving my experience as a meek and traumatized child. Shame and fear seem to be a theme lately. Lot of unmet needs bubbling up and clamoring for attention.

In a lot of ways I’m not living up to my potential and I’m really questioning if my approach of waiting to heal to take action towards my goals is correct. Right now I really think it is, despite the judgement from society that lives in my head. But I’m not fully sure and I’m constantly re-evaluating. My progress is good enough that it’s worthwhile to me to wait and see what happens.

I’m kind of fully leaning into the healing angle right now. Not even trying to take action towards my goals and instead focusing on “rehabilitation” back into life. Almost like someone with a physical injury getting rehabilitated, but emotionally and spiritually.

P.S This is kind of out of order but a random though I had I wanted to write down. I feel like E6 is fully reconstructing my psyche from the ground up.

P.S.S Don’t use E6 if you hate becoming awesome

[Have at ye]

Well, EHPRA does focus your subC on healing/clearing and other things, but it does not mean you can't pursue other goals while running it. I was tempted to hole up in a coccoon and "heal most thorougly" before getting on with my life, but then decided that it really does not have to be an either/or proposition and I'm trying to achieve things while healing. Just my three cents.

Good luck with further EHPRAing! How far along are you? I'll be starting month 7 in 3 days.

[Frosted]

Well, EHPRA does focus your subC on healing/clearing and other things, but it does not mean you can't pursue other goals while running it. I was tempted to hole up in a coccoon and "heal most thorougly" before getting on with my life, but then decided that it really does not have to be an either/or proposition and I'm trying to achieve things while healing. Just my three cents.

Good luck with further EHPRAing! How far along are you? I'll be starting month 7 in 3 days.

Thank you for your perspective. I’m going to keep pursuing the line I’m on now, since I’m noticing promising things going on, but I may branch off or completely change my approach. It’s all up in the air. We’ll see how the situation shakes out.

Thank you. I’m basically right at 2 months.

Side note for everyone: I realized today that I only started using 5.9G 2-ish years ago and 5.11G only 8-ish months ago. My deepest changes have been during this time. Especially the last 8 months, if you catch my drift .

[callie]

Basically been using every healing title since OFv1. Never really did a full run-through though, despite setting my intention to do so each time. 

Also, I might have jumped to conclusions about resistance. While it does play a significant role, there's also a part of me that has grown to hate myself, rooted in emotional pain from my childhood. I often mistake this for resistance because of the intense physical symptoms it can produce.

And yeah, I'm only sticking to latest tech. I don't see a reason not to.

Finishing is important. “Greater than the sum of its parts” is a quote that captures the gap between stopping partway through and completing a run. Over multiple titles, you’re robbing yourself of tons of growth. But don’t beat yourself over the head for not finishing in the past. Focus on finishing this run of E6 no matter what.

Yeah it’s interesting. I can’t speak for your experience, but in my experience, the pain that comes up feels like contraction but paradoxically is actually from releasing. It’s like putting a dissolving tablet in water and thinking the tablet isn’t dissolving because you see a film develop on the surface. The film obscures the process, but paradoxically is a sign that it’s working.

I’ve had deep issues as well that have come up over and over and have had my doubts as well. The only reason I continued with so much healing/clearing despite essentially getting beat over the head with pain constantly was because I recognized I wasn’t getting the results I wanted from subs. I recognized my desire to run another sub to fulfill a desire as bs, since I couldn’t achieve the level of result I wanted. It’s like wanting to leave the hospital and go skiing while my whole body is broken, so that I can escape the pain of my whole body being broken lol. Healing is what we need, but our brain tries to trick us to want other things that paradoxically we can get if we keep focusing on healing/clearing.

Blind faith can only take me so far. If there isn’t something to counteract the undercurrent of hopelessness and self loathing, I burn out eventually. That’s why I haven’t been able to finish any program. Trust me, I am the least happy about that. 

I’m not having the best experience with E6. But so far I feel like I can keep going. It’s a bit overwhelming at times, and if that continues I will give masked a shot again. But yeah, I am determined to finish E6. I’m happy to see that you continue to improve.

[Have at ye]

Well, EHPRA does focus your subC on healing/clearing and other things, but it does not mean you can't pursue other goals while running it. I was tempted to hole up in a coccoon and "heal most thorougly" before getting on with my life, but then decided that it really does not have to be an either/or proposition and I'm trying to achieve things while healing. Just my three cents.

Good luck with further EHPRAing! How far along are you? I'll be starting month 7 in 3 days.

Thank you for your perspective. I’m going to keep pursuing the line I’m on now, since I’m noticing promising things going on, but I may branch off or completely change my approach. It’s all up in the air. We’ll see how the situation shakes out.

Thank you. I’m basically right at 2 months.

Side note for everyone: I realized today that I only started using 5.9G 2-ish years ago and 5.11G only 8-ish months ago. My deepest changes have been during this time. Especially the last 8 months, if you catch my drift .

Oh, you're still relatively early in the EHPRA cycle. In my experience it gets smoother over time, with the occasional hiccough when something unpleasant and deep gets worked on and starts getting through to the conscious mind. Enjoy the process!

[Frosted]

Finishing is important. “Greater than the sum of its parts” is a quote that captures the gap between stopping partway through and completing a run. Over multiple titles, you’re robbing yourself of tons of growth. But don’t beat yourself over the head for not finishing in the past. Focus on finishing this run of E6 no matter what.

Yeah it’s interesting. I can’t speak for your experience, but in my experience, the pain that comes up feels like contraction but paradoxically is actually from releasing. It’s like putting a dissolving tablet in water and thinking the tablet isn’t dissolving because you see a film develop on the surface. The film obscures the process, but paradoxically is a sign that it’s working.

I’ve had deep issues as well that have come up over and over and have had my doubts as well. The only reason I continued with so much healing/clearing despite essentially getting beat over the head with pain constantly was because I recognized I wasn’t getting the results I wanted from subs. I recognized my desire to run another sub to fulfill a desire as bs, since I couldn’t achieve the level of result I wanted. It’s like wanting to leave the hospital and go skiing while my whole body is broken, so that I can escape the pain of my whole body being broken lol. Healing is what we need, but our brain tries to trick us to want other things that paradoxically we can get if we keep focusing on healing/clearing.

Blind faith can only take me so far. If there isn’t something to counteract the undercurrent of hopelessness and self loathing, I burn out eventually. That’s why I haven’t been able to finish any program. Trust me, I am the least happy about that. 

I’m not having the best experience with E6. But so far I feel like I can keep going. It’s a bit overwhelming at times, and if that continues I will give masked a shot again. But yeah, I am determined to finish E6. I’m happy to see that you continue to improve.

All I can say is that it got better for me over time, but it took time. Find ways to cope and endure as much as you can (as long as those things don’t interfere with the subs). If you stay in the ring with your problems long enough, you’ll be the only one standing.

[Frosted]

Feel like I’m undergoing a massive shift right now. This is one of the only times I got an urge to use the program out of turn so I am. I’ll add some time off to compensate. At first I was like “this is a mistake” because I felt my head swell up, but that faded and now I realize it was a great choice. I feel like I’m breaking through.

Amazing results are so tantalizingly close. It’s like there’s a thin curtain between me and a titanic shift and the curtain keeps teasing me by revealing a little bit. There’s also a subtle glowing coming from the curtains, indicating there’s something beautiful on the other side. We shall see if “close” means in two weeks or 2 years. I wish I could estimate but all I know is that it’s incredibly close and getting closer each day.

I will update if I notice anything worth trying to explain since my breakthrough is likely to continue into the night. I guess for now I just notice a subtle lucidity rising up from unconscious to conscious. This one’s been happening since OGSF2. That along with an increase in good mood and a feeling like I’m overcoming issues coming up a lot easier. (This isn’t all I notice, just one of the easier to explain.)

P.S just to clarify the breakthrough I’m going through now is different than the “titanic” one I feel coming. That one will be the result of many breakthroughs coalescing.

Edit: I feel more stable, whole and vibrant, and the changes are still coming. It feels like I’m reclaiming a foothold in myself, if that makes sense. It’s like I’m sinking billiards that I’ve been lining up for awhile. It really sucks that I can’t communicate the subjective experience I’m having right now properly. Basically just understand that E6 is fucking awesome and can’t be described in words why. You just have to run it yourself and watch as it changes the entirety of your experience of reality for the better in profound ways. It may take time, like it did for me (almost a decade of subs), but make no mistake, this shit is fucking awesome.

Edit 2: It’s right before bed and I’m feeling mega tired compared to normal. My head feels more brain foggy than normal. I’m sure I’ve undergone massive change, now I gotta let everything unpack with some time off.

[Frosted]

Man this shit is sneaking up on me. How can I only be 2 months in? It’s not like I’m Superman yet, but the progress I’ve made on my deep issues is staggering. I can’t emphasize enough how awesome this program is. I remember in the past it would always feel like it was just more healing/clearing without an end in sight. It’s no longer like that for me. I notice tons of deep positive changes. I’m undergoing a complete transformation from the ground up.

I honestly think E6 is the meat and potatoes of what any person actually wants, to be more of the person they want to be.

Edit: All I gotta say is that the value I’m getting out of this program is many, many more times than 450$.

[Ampersnd]

Yes, @Frosted, it makes me laugh how much EHPRA has made a difference. It's the foundational work that will make the other subliminals run much more smoothly.