Overcoming Fear v.3 - 5.75.7G - Ampers&d's Journal

[CatMan]

LOL, I love that scene, hahahaha. One of my favourite parts of the movie!

Yeah, as entertainment, it's great. But my unconscious mind must be seriously considering the subject matter as a real-life thing. (Which would be frightening if you didn't have the training/instinct to make it out of the situation).

Just some level of fear, no worries. You're on the right sub, don't worry.

[Ampersnd]

Day 46, T-Minus 135 days until end, 1st day OFF

Keeping up the record. Sleeping at my parent's house, so it's been tough to gauge whether my bed is stifling my sleep or just my brain churning on the subliminal's ideas.

[Ampersnd]

Day 48, T-Minus 133 days until end, 1st day ON

[Ampersnd]

Day 49, T-Minus 132 days until end, 2nd day ON,

Noticing that my desires for a better life is outweighing my internal resistances against doing the work to get this better life.
I haven't done the actual work yet (mostly due to my time being largely booked), but I'm itching to get started on them.

[Mystic Pymp]

Day 49, T-Minus 132 days until end, 2nd day ON,

Noticing that my desires for a better life is outweighing my internal resistances against doing the work to get this better life.
I haven't done the actual work yet (mostly due to my time being largely booked), but I'm itching to get started on them.

Do you have any exact plans or just a vague ideas for the work to achieve the better life?

[Ampersnd]

Day 49, T-Minus 132 days until end, 2nd day ON,

Noticing that my desires for a better life is outweighing my internal resistances against doing the work to get this better life.
I haven't done the actual work yet (mostly due to my time being largely booked), but I'm itching to get started on them.

Do you have any exact plans or just a vague ideas for the work to achieve the better life?

Yes, my plans would be to i) to apply to tech jobs and ii) to create extra coding projects outside of my bootcamp's curriculum.
I'm almost exactly at 5 months of the 6-month course; we're learning React, then MERN, then State/Redux. Then it's the final project.

The location of these tech jobs would be out of town; more specifically, Montreal. I live about 7 hours away, and I'm in a different province.
But, I'd have to check out Montreal to look for which part of town I'd want to live.
I have plenty of savings which would allow me to move.

The hesitancies are, in part, my current responsibilities - i.e., my coding deadlines and my current job - in a different field. Also, the COVID numbers are getting better but there's no guarantee that they'd be stellar by the time I get this job. Montreal was a huge red zone during the worst part, and they were among the first to reopen. But, I am fully vaccinated.

All in all, I should start soon and deal with any inconveniences as they come, instead of fantasizing about a perfect time.

P.S. Nice thumbnail, LOTR brother

[Mystic Pymp]

Day 49, T-Minus 132 days until end, 2nd day ON,

Noticing that my desires for a better life is outweighing my internal resistances against doing the work to get this better life.
I haven't done the actual work yet (mostly due to my time being largely booked), but I'm itching to get started on them.

Do you have any exact plans or just a vague ideas for the work to achieve the better life?

Yes, my plans would be to i) to apply to tech jobs and ii) to create extra coding projects outside of my bootcamp's curriculum.
I'm almost exactly at 5 months of the 6-month course; we're learning React, then MERN, then State/Redux. Then it's the final project.

The location of these tech jobs would be out of town; more specifically, Montreal. I live about 7 hours away, and I'm in a different province.
But, I'd have to check out Montreal to look for which part of town I'd want to live.
I have plenty of savings which would allow me to move.

The hesitancies are, in part, my current responsibilities - i.e., my coding deadlines and my current job - in a different field. Also, the COVID numbers are getting better but there's no guarantee that they'd be stellar by the time I get this job. Montreal was a huge red zone during the worst part, and they were among the first to reopen. But, I am fully vaccinated.

All in all, I should start soon and deal with any inconveniences as they come, instead of fantasizing about a perfect time.

P.S. Nice thumbnail, LOTR brother

I see you have this well thought out, that's great. Best of luck to you, you've got this!

Put aside the ranger. Become who you were born to be.

[NOMAD]

P.S. Nice thumbnail, LOTR brother

I frequently get you two guys confused with one another. 

[Mystic Pymp]

P.S. Nice thumbnail, LOTR brother

I frequently get you two guys confused with one another. 

Sorry  

[Ampersnd]

P.S. Nice thumbnail, LOTR brother

I frequently get you two guys confused with one another. 

Sorry  

I've been considering changing my thumbnail to Brosnan's Bond (James Bond). That is a totally unique thumbnail that will keep me from getting me confused with other people... right? /s

[Ampersnd]

Day 51, T-Minus 131 days until end, 1st day OFF,

Noticing feelings of depression and mild regret.
Same routine each day; it was fun for a while, but the improvements aren't obvious (though they're noticeable whenever I look beyond the surface level).

I'm becoming more grumpy/cantankerous at work; I think I'll throw out a couple of resumes today.

[Ampersnd]

Day 52, T-Minus 130 days until end, 2nd day OFF,

I think I will shorten my 2-day rest period and take on a 3-ON-1-OFF approach, instead of my current 3-ON-2-OFF.
If I feel like it works, I might increase loops from 3 to 4 daily.

[Ampersnd]

Day 55, T-Minus 127 days until end, 3rd day ON,

I am experiencing a lot more inner peace; I find that my minor frustrations get expressed while at work, as there is too much to do and many covert expectations placed upon me. I also rack my brain about how to improve my workflow/online platform using technology.

I was surprised by how little I panicked about a potential pregnancy scare; not a positive test, but an accidental "point-blank shotgun blast" (if you catch my drift). It occupied my thoughts every now and again, but I did not experience negative emotions, instead devising contingency plans based on X or Y happening. She's just now messaged me and said that she bought and used a "shotgun recovery pill" (if you catch my drift).

PS: I know I can use the real terms, but I'm having too much fun.

[Ampersnd]

Day 56, T-Minus 125 days until end 4th day ON,

Nearing 1/3rd of the subliminal's run-time.
This will be my first time running loops on a 4th day.
Tempted to switch subs but I must stay strong!