whome's DMSI 3.3.2 journal

[Yous]

Day 12

I’m still finding that I’m fighting myself in trying to get to sleep on time. Last night I knew I needed to get to sleep by, say, 11:30, but that slipped to about 1:30, so I’m tired again.

Last day off; tomorrow back to the loops.

Oops   

Well, at the beginning is like you can see what you can get, but after its like nothing is happening, maybe resistance. Anyway i think the changes are progressive and soft, not like in Ehpra or others similar, i think i will do the same as you, i will write the objetives to compare them when i finish. 

Sorry for the interruption of DMSI, are you noticing something good apart of the main purpose of the sub?

[whome]

I haven’t noticed anything yet, purpose of the sub or not. In the subs so far all I’ve gotten is exhaustion and the rising of emotional grief.

Hoping this new version of the FRM is what does it.

[Shannon]

That is what stands in your way of execution.

[whome]

Day 13

Had to wake early today, but I didn’t wake as exhausted as yesterday. Perhaps it was my first day back on DMSI, or perhaps it was a cuddle session yesterday.

Otherwise, not sure what to report. I’m remembering my first job at a computer lab, but I have no idea why I’d even think of that. That was more than 20 years ago and I literally haven’t thought about that in decades.

(Edit: I’m unsure if I remembered to turn off Bluetooth overnight to ensure that DMSI played on my phone speaker. Half because of that and half because I desperately want this to work, I just finished up one loop at my desk at work.)

[whome]

Something odd just happened at work.

A colleague of mine got a small, high-strung dog, and often brings it to work (we’re a dog-friendly company). It’s cute but it has anxiety issues, both when my colleague leaves and at other times. I was returning to our shared office, and the dog apparently had been barking and yelping for a while. It ran up to me, barking and yelping loudly. I went “shhhhhhh” while putting pressure on it and staring it down with calmness. It calmed a bit but when I walked to my desk it started again, so again with the “shhh” and the staring and with a two fingered point. It stopped entirely and was calm the remainder of the time I was there until I headed home.

The colleague was shocked. I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t say anything.

I have no idea if this is DMSI’s doing, or if it’s some other sub, or if this is something else. This isn’t anything I’ve experienced before, but I haven’t done any dog whispering before.

[tolgaocal80]

Something odd just happened at work.

A colleague of mine got a small, high-strung dog, and often brings it to work (we’re a dog-friendly company). It’s cute but it has anxiety issues, both when my colleague leaves and at other times. I was returning to our shared office, and the dog apparently had been barking and yelping for a while. It ran up to me, barking and yelping loudly. I went “shhhhhhh” while putting pressure on it and staring it down with calmness. It calmed a bit but when I walked to my desk it started again, so again with the “shhh” and the staring and with a two fingered point. It stopped entirely and was calm the remainder of the time I was there until I headed home.

The colleague was shocked. I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t say anything.

I have no idea if this is DMSI’s doing, or if it’s some other sub, or if this is something else. This isn’t anything I’ve experienced before, but I haven’t done any dog whispering before.

shannon answers on this best, I think its about your aura, animals can see our auras

[Shannon]

When a dog feels secure, it will stop barking and whining. Simply put, you made it feel secure. How? Pressure, calm demeanor, and alpha-ness. You demonstrated to the dog that you are an alpha, and that everything is under control.

I'm not sure that DMSI has anything to do with it, but I can plausibly believe that your aura made an impact as well.

My dogs (Yorkies, what an inheritance) will flip out during a thunderstorm, yelping and whining and barking, but if I am within sight and I am calm and dominant, they also calm down. If I let them lay on the chair I'm sitting in, behind me, they are perfectly calm through even close and loud lightning and thunder.

[whome]

When a dog feels secure, it will stop barking and whining.  Simply put, you made it feel secure.

Interesting. I’m not usually in my body like that; maybe the incentive of getting that dog to quiet down pushed me.

Day 14

I woke super tired today. I felt something like maybe a dehydration headache, but I don’t think it was. It was in my head, about two inches below the crown of my head. It’s faded now.

[whome]

Day 15

Today I woke tired and dizzy, and things have gotten a bit better as the day has gone on but not much.

Today’s schedule shifted around a bit, so I ended up wandering around the Village just now. I’m reminded of how many attractive women live and hang around here. No attraction signals yet, but I’m kinda not expecting them yet given how much my emotional state hasn’t changed.

[whome]

Day 16

Again woke tired and dizzy. Got stuff done today. Not sure what else to say.

[whome]

Day 17 (day 5 on)

Again woke tired and dizzy. In my cuddling session this morning, though, I wasn’t as exhausted nor emotionally shot as I’ve been for a while, so that’s good. I felt like running some loops, so in the afternoon I got two in, almost back-to-back, but interrupted by a colleague about ten minutes before the end of the first one.

[whome]

Ok. I'm getting a kind of shiver going on. Not really a cold shiver, but a kind of fear shiver. I'm also feeling more in my body, which often puts me into a space of fear.

[whome]

Day 18 (day 6 on)

Another day waking up tired and dizzy. I’m finding myself a bit more in the present, but with the same slight fear chill as last night, and with a touch of grief. I’m starting to feel more overwhelmed by work.

[whome]

Day 19 (day 7 on)

Yesterday I was reading THolt’s UMS journal when I read:

I've found that until you overcome the parts that fight the programming, running it as much as necessary to achieve full execution is useful.

And that poked at me; a part of me is fighting, and as long as I can withstand the effects of my subconscious fighting back, why not do it?

So last night, instead of putting in the four loops that I usually have go overnight, I had the ultrasonic version just loop continuously. I woke tired and sad, but less dizzy than I’d woken the previous nights. I’m going to be looping the hybrid version at work. I figure that I put in as much as I can today and tomorrow and see what happens over the rest days.