My healing journey - E2, Cold showers, Root chakra meditation

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So after 15 months of emotional healing subs, are you finally healed?

[Greenduck]

So after 15 months of emotional healing subs, are you finally healed?

It depends on what you are meaning with "finally healed". I have come a long way from where I was 15 months ago, which was in the gutter with daily suicidal thoughts and constant despair and tormenting fear. So let say my life vitality was at 5 % then, it's maybe at 60 % now - thats a 12 time improvement, which I am really happy about. To me to be "finally healed" is to be at 95-100 %, so the answer to your question is no, but they have taken me hell of a way from where I was.

[Nara]

Let me chime in...

If you really want to focus on healing, the USLM module in LTU5 will give you a boost. It's part of the synergistic effect. It's not there to distract your healing process.

Plus, it has Auric Shielding, which you apparently need.

[Greenduck]

Let me chime in...

If you really want to focus on healing, the USLM module in LTU5 will give you a boost. It's part of the synergistic effect. It's not there to distract your healing process.

Plus, it has Auric Shielding, which you apparently need.

True...well I've almost decided for LTU.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So I did the math, and I guess you'll get there after having used it for 2 years. Interesting. Guess that's how long I'm gonna need to use it then.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Let me chime in...

If you really want to focus on healing, the USLM module in LTU5 will give you a boost. It's part of the synergistic effect. It's not there to distract your healing process.

Plus, it has Auric Shielding, which you apparently need.

Why does Greenduck need the Auric Shield? Just curious.

[Greenduck]

So I did the math, and I guess you'll get there after having used it for 2 years. Interesting. Guess that's how long I'm gonna need to use it then.

Well, first I used older technologies than the one you have at your hands today, if I had let say LTU5, maybe it would have taken less time. Second, everyone else is different, and your journey may differ from mine. Anyhow I wish you the best luck, you are in a good place to get support on this forum.

Let me chime in...

If you really want to focus on healing, the USLM module in LTU5 will give you a boost. It's part of the synergistic effect. It's not there to distract your healing process.

Plus, it has Auric Shielding, which you apparently need.

Why does Greenduck need the Auric Shield? Just curious.

Because I have people around me that drain my energy by craving my attention, complaining about stuff, etc. I am a bit sensitive to that.

[Greenduck]

I started to really see how my mother is an attention seeking sociopath. She can't really tolerate that other people are not focusing on herself. during dinner my dad and I have a conversation, or my dad tells a story, she just can't take it. She sits there breathing deeply, puffing like a damn dragon, twisting left and right and just demonstrating how much she dislikes whatever we do. Previously I got sucked into it but tonight I just didn't care even though it took some mental dedication. But it made me really realize how unhealthy she has been for me, because my whole life she has used me as a tool to comfort this sociopathic way of being and not letting me develop my own self-esteem and identity.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I started to really see how my mother is an attention seeking sociopath. She can't really tolerate that other people are not focusing on herself. during dinner my dad and I have a conversation, or my dad tells a story, she just can't take it. She sits there breathing deeply, puffing like a damn dragon, twisting left and right and just demonstrating how much she dislikes whatever we do. Previously I got sucked into it but tonight I just didn't care even though it took some mental dedication. But it made me really realize how unhealthy she has been for me, because my whole life she has used me as a tool to comfort this sociopathic way of being and not letting me develop my own self-esteem and identity.

I'm really sorry to hear that. I realize there's a lot of stuff I've done that ate up people's attention and didn't really heal me, so reading this just kinda brings that to my head. Still it's gotta be rough. Yeah, an auric shielding would do you some good! I'm glad you're helping yourself. And I hope you get to 100% soon

[Greenduck]

I started to really see how my mother is an attention seeking sociopath. She can't really tolerate that other people are not focusing on herself. during dinner my dad and I have a conversation, or my dad tells a story, she just can't take it. She sits there breathing deeply, puffing like a damn dragon, twisting left and right and just demonstrating how much she dislikes whatever we do. Previously I got sucked into it but tonight I just didn't care even though it took some mental dedication. But it made me really realize how unhealthy she has been for me, because my whole life she has used me as a tool to comfort this sociopathic way of being and not letting me develop my own self-esteem and identity.

I'm really sorry to hear that. I realize there's a lot of stuff I've done that ate up people's attention and didn't really heal me, so reading this just kinda brings that to my head. Still it's gotta be rough. Yeah, an auric shielding would do you some good!

As long as you haven't raised a child and based his/hers upbringing on compensating your insecurities and didn't have the courage to meet yourself and start working towards the right direction, you are fine. Sounds like you want to improve and work on yourself and not just use other people to make you feel good, that's a good start.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I started to really see how my mother is an attention seeking sociopath. She can't really tolerate that other people are not focusing on herself. during dinner my dad and I have a conversation, or my dad tells a story, she just can't take it. She sits there breathing deeply, puffing like a damn dragon, twisting left and right and just demonstrating how much she dislikes whatever we do. Previously I got sucked into it but tonight I just didn't care even though it took some mental dedication. But it made me really realize how unhealthy she has been for me, because my whole life she has used me as a tool to comfort this sociopathic way of being and not letting me develop my own self-esteem and identity.

I'm really sorry to hear that. I realize there's a lot of stuff I've done that ate up people's attention and didn't really heal me, so reading this just kinda brings that to my head. Still it's gotta be rough. Yeah, an auric shielding would do you some good!

As long as you haven't raised a child and based his/hers upbringing on compensating your insecurities and didn't have the courage to meet yourself and start working towards the right direction, you are fine. Sounds like you want to improve and work on yourself and not just use other people to make you feel good, that's a good start.

Thanks. I'm still racked with guilt and shame from past behaviours and the consequences of those behaviours, so it's hard, but I want to become better. 

I'm sorry your mom is like that toward you and others. I hope you can get away from that negativity. Anyway, I'll say a prayer for you. Hope it helps.

[Greenduck]

I started to really see how my mother is an attention seeking sociopath. She can't really tolerate that other people are not focusing on herself. during dinner my dad and I have a conversation, or my dad tells a story, she just can't take it. She sits there breathing deeply, puffing like a damn dragon, twisting left and right and just demonstrating how much she dislikes whatever we do. Previously I got sucked into it but tonight I just didn't care even though it took some mental dedication. But it made me really realize how unhealthy she has been for me, because my whole life she has used me as a tool to comfort this sociopathic way of being and not letting me develop my own self-esteem and identity.

I'm really sorry to hear that. I realize there's a lot of stuff I've done that ate up people's attention and didn't really heal me, so reading this just kinda brings that to my head. Still it's gotta be rough. Yeah, an auric shielding would do you some good!

As long as you haven't raised a child and based his/hers upbringing on compensating your insecurities and didn't have the courage to meet yourself and start working towards the right direction, you are fine. Sounds like you want to improve and work on yourself and not just use other people to make you feel good, that's a good start.

Thanks. I'm still racked with guilt and shame from past behaviours and the consequences of those behaviours, so it's hard, but I want to become better. 

I'm sorry your mom is like that toward you and others. I hope you can get away from that negativity. Anyway, I'll say a prayer for you. Hope it helps.

It takes bravery to accept that you have failed and to start over. Cudos to you for doing so. Thanks.

[Greenduck]

Wrong post..delete is possible