DMSI Journey

[RTBoss]

Enjoy the ups ("Damn, I'm handsome!") and weather the downs ("I feel uglier.") You're going to experience both. This sub doesn't cause only ups, then more ups. It's a rollercoaster. Eventually things will smooth out for longer and longer periods of time.

[DarkPlouf]

You're right, thank you

[thor2014]

The internal healing works really well in one month you will be a new man keep at it.

Day 3
2 loops of hybrid track.
I felt like shit today, but really, really like shit. And f**ing lonely.
My appetite is high today again.

[DarkPlouf]

Day 10.
3 loops of hybrid track.

When I finished listening to it, I felt kinda down. Not really sad per se, but not happy.
I felt neutral about everything.
Yesterday in the middle of the night I thought I was going to die, I was so hungry. I couldn't cook so I drank a juice...
Does DMSI make me that hungry because I usually have a low appetite ?

[DarkPlouf]

Btw, I noticed I'm no more bothered by the fact that I am single.

[RTBoss]

Day 10.
3 loops of hybrid track.

When I finished listening to it, I felt kinda down. Not really sad per se, but not happy.
I felt neutral about everything.
Yesterday in the middle of the night I thought I was going to die, I was so hungry. I couldn't cook so I drank a juice...
Does DMSI make me that hungry because I usually have a low appetite ?

Yes, DMSI appetite can get quite insane at times. That issue seems to wane after being on DMSI long-duration.

[DarkPlouf]

Day 11.
3 loops of hybrid track.

Bad day .
I woke up with remorseful thoughts about that girl. Let's call her Girl Z.
For those who do not know, that girl was flirting with me and giving me tons of IOIs for about a month, and like an idiot I did nothing. Not only I caught her IOIs late, but also I was unable to kino, nor escalate nor close with her, even tho I wanted and I knew that's what I was supposed to do. The last time we were alone together I was freezed to death. I was totally comfortable with the talk and making her laugh, but when it came to physical touch, my brain stopped working. So that situation is my reason here. People told me I could overcome that issue with the healing on DMSI.
Paradoxically, my male friends always reproached me to touch them too much when I talk.

So, today I woke up with remorseful thoughts. Regret, grief, anger, these feelings too. I thought things were getting better since I didn't thought about Girl Z for the past 3 days or so. I was still on my bed for a while thinking about how much I suck.
Then I went to my laptop, browsing some journals here and there to think about something else.
Then I bumped right away on that post:

This is your problem.

DMSI is a life changer, that is for sure. But when the opportunity presents itself, STRIKE. And if there is no opportunity, create one, then STRIKE.

And if you cannot create one, STRIKE.

DMSI IS a life changer, but you yourself are still a massive influence.

Listen, man, you flirt and you flirt and you flirt. But that gets boring. Imagine if a woman flirted with you, in the same way everyday, but you cannot do anything about it - only she can. But she doesn't take any decisive movements.

And she just keeps flirting and flirting.

That would suck balls (not really, more like give you blue balls Wink)

You NEED to TAKE ACTION.

You are doing amazingly by asking women out. Amazing work on that man. But, when you actually get there, you have to touch her, you have to keep the eye contact, you need to get close and feel the tension. When you can withstand this tension and KEEP piling it on her, you will have her in your grasp.

First you create this sexual tension, then you withdraw.. then you increase the tension again. And finally, you need to pull the trigger; because you know what the difference is between a good guy (not nice, good) and a good guy that gets all the chicks?

Kino, escalation, sexual tension, pulling the trigger.

That's it.

And if you cannot believe in body language (for whatever weird reason), then just pull the trigger. If she isn't pushing you back when you flirt, take that as a sign to just do it. If she is neutral, pull the trigger.

I understand you have this blockage, this belief that it will get you in trouble.. but IT IS KEEPING YOU FROM BEING THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF.

Pull the ***** trigger.

Annnnnd I felt worse. Thanks bro, I was trying to feel better instead.
Then a lot of thoughts came into my mind:
-Shouldn't I just run OF or something like that ?
-What if DMSI can't help me take actions ?
-Look at all these users getting IOIs without doing anything. You'll be like that in some months, unable to take action, so what's the point ?
-What if you do not encounter again a girl as interested and opened as Girl Z ?

I felt tired after a while then decided to sleep while listening to DMSI (3 loop hybrid track). Thankfully I fell asleep quickly and peacefully.
I dreamed about being in a large and open space. A grassland. I was in middle of it. I was seeing myself like in a RPG game.
I'm not 100% sure of what was happening, but I think I was talking to someone in my head (maybe myself) about Girl Z. I was looking for something. I was looking for a way to resolve something.
That's what I remembered when I woke up. Btw the remorseful thoughts didn't stop when I woke up...

I hope it was part of the healing and not just a random bad day :@.

On a side note, lately my visualization is getting clearer.

[DarkPlouf]

I'm procrastinating so hard today...I'm slacking off and watching animes all day long -_-.

[DarkPlouf]

Day 12.
2 loops hybrid track + 2 loops later (I just left like doing it...)

Procrastination is high today again -_-.
I thought about girl Z again and felt miserable being single.
Then, later I felt so good being single I was wondering why am I even listening to DMSI since I don't need girls.
Wtf...I felt bipolar today.

I went out today and didn't notice any IOI. I don't think my social confidence increased. Hot girls are still intimidating.
Overall I didn't feel good today again.

[Raikahoken]

It's the clearing bro. The first few days of DMSI was up and down for me too. I also had regrets about a girl from my past (in this case my ex). But hang in there, these will be cleared and you will be glad these issues are worked through! Try to bring more awareness to your down feelings. They provide clues to what's resisting within you.

[DarkPlouf]

Try to bring more awareness to your down feelings. They provide clues to what's resisting within you.

Will try, thank you !

[DarkPlouf]

Day 13.
3 loops hybrid track.

Depressed again today. During and shortly after listening to DMSI.

[DarkPlouf]

The urge to switch to another sub is high recently.
I think I'm resisting more with 3 loops.
What would happens if I run more ?

[DarkPlouf]

Felt depressed and hopeless today again all the morning. Life seemed meaningless, I got suicidal thoughts. I had to use some NLP tricks and metta meditation to lift my mood (sorry Shannon).
It's almost funny to see how my subconscious mind thinks it's the end of the world. That's the feeling I get behind my hopelessness and emptiness.
Now, being single bothers me a lot. Feel sick when I see couples.

I'll run the ultrasonic track all the night today. (unless it's ok to listen to the hybrid track on my laptop - without earphone then)