Leisure Suit Danny - DMSI 3.1 Journal

[Ampersnd]

Day 32 (2nd 'B' side day),

I'm at Day 19 in my 100 Day Challenge; I'm almost halfway through my 17th book (125/282).

I need to get this book done and make money!

EDIT: I sang F#4 in chest voice while doing some random scales. It was tense, of course.

[Ampersnd]

Day 33 (3rd day B),

I'm at Day 20 in my 100 Day Challenge; I've finished my 19th book.
I've passed the halfway mark a couple of days ago! The last books will be the hardest

Then, I sit down and write, write, write! I wonder how clearly the words will come out. I'll be pretty organized about assigning my statements with my references. This will be so that I don't have to waste valuable time going back to verify my statements.

One document will be the 3rd draft itself, one document will be the notes I've taken for each book (focusing on one at a time), and the third will be a table that associates the statement with the notes/reference).

[Ampersnd]

I think that my next 100 Day Challenge will be to earn 10,000 USD entirely through the internet, by whatever (legal and ethical) means necessary.

[Ampersnd]

Day 34 (Day 4, side B)

Only had reasonable time for 1 loop of B. I worked an 11 hour day.
I was only able to read half a book (granted, the book is 350 pages), and I was running around for part of the time.

To my offense, I spent some time putting my ebooks on Smashwords to try to get Amazon to price-match it. But there were enough interruptions today.

Time to pass out!

[Ampersnd]

Day 35 (Day 5, side B)
I'll likely be working another 11 hour day in 3 weeks.
I got back on track today; I'll go to bed in a few minutes to get my rest.

So now, it's Day 22 of my challenge, and I'm partway through my 20th (?) book; I'm making forward progress, but I think I miscounted a few days ago. I'm 100 pages out of 410; this book is dense stuff. Steven Pinker is no joke.

I had a vocal assessment done; she gave a few tips that improved my voice just under the passaggio, but I know I'll need to drill those in to make them work for me as a natural skill.

I've ordered her book, so that will come in shortly, and I can do her exercises.

[Ampersnd]

Day 36 (Day 6, side B),

I didn't complete the 2 loops; stupid me paused partway through the second loop.
I feel like I'm people the puzzle pieces together in my mind regarding my book.
But, I'm not sure that I'm contributing anything original; many of the books have combined psychology, anthropology, and linguistics. Maybe not in the sense that the key lessons would apply to debate, which isn't something that I've seen from books.

On the plus side, when this book is over, the other two books will be easier, since they're much more intuitive.

[Ampersnd]

It's Day 23 of my challenge, and I'm done with my 20th book.
2 of my library holds arrived at the library, and they're both 400 page monsters (oy vey!)

This next week will be packed with readings.

[Ampersnd]

Day 37 (Day 7 side B),

Spent my day at work extremely stressed and unhappy. Unsure as to the cause; I feel like I'm going crazy or something. It might be DMSI, but it could just be cabin fever, and the fact that I have very little to do at work (meaning that I could very well be let go sooner than later).

I'm having these thoughts of running AM6 or BASE Stage 7 until DMSI 3.2 comes out. That way, I could re-develop useful emotions for escaping my situation. Or, I tough out DMSI 3.1 until I pass the resistance.

I've watched the start of 'Charisma University'; I'll watch it, but probably won't have room to apply it, as my job doesn't involve me dealing with people.

EDIT: I went to Jiu Jitsu, and I felt much better. After pushing myself with several rolls, I finally snapped out of my funk and became very present to the moment. I realize that all of my problems were not just abstract concepts but situations that involve real consequences. I also clued in to the idea that I'm becoming older (25), and I need to move the hell out of my parent's house, even if it will cost me money.

[Ampersnd]

Day 38 (Day 8 side B),

Does anyone else get the experience of feeling crushed by the program? I feel like I'm barely hanging onto my sanity by a thread. I'm so much more stressed than I should be. It feels as though my work is not fulfilling, let alone productive.

I can only hope to complete my book within 6 weeks.

I only read 70 pages from this 300 page book; it's much more complex than I expected it would be, as this might overhaul the design of my first chapter, and make me re-think my philosophical stance.

After this book is done, I could expect to complete 5 more, and then my reading list is done! I might need to read more, but I might rely on quotes from other people.

[Ampersnd]

Day 39 (Day 9 side B),

I think I might have low-testosterone. It would explain a lot; I'm not very sociable and I feel awkward, I don't feel strong attraction towards women, and I'm extremely quiet in public. I won't talk to many people, and I trip over my words when I do.

I went to a charity event, and no one was attractive to me, and no one was attracted to me. I was there with a few female colleagues, and I wound up following around. I realize that this is extremely weak, since I don't feel compelled to set my own agenda.

Nonetheless, I'm focused and motivated in my readings and book project. I finished reading a very difficult book, adding all the notes and related bibliography.

I'm now 4 days behind; probably 26 days, 22 books now.

[Dzemoo]

Day 39 (Day 9 side B),

I think I might have low-testosterone. It would explain a lot; I'm not very sociable and I feel awkward, I don't feel strong attraction towards women, and I'm extremely quiet in public. I won't talk to many people, and I trip over my words when I do.

I went to a charity event, and no one was attractive to me, and no one was attracted to me. I was there with a few female colleagues, and I wound up following around. I realize that this is extremely weak, since I don't feel compelled to set my own agenda.

Nonetheless, I'm focused and motivated in my readings and book project. I finished reading a very difficult book, adding all the notes and related bibliography.

I'm now 4 days behind; probably 26 days, 22 books now.

Testosterone alone wont help you with women it you think you are low on it then just take a t booster problem solved

[Ampersnd]

Day 40 (Side B Day 10),

I felt hollowed out for most of the day; my physical mood was so poor that it couldn't be biological; I visited my sister with family, and I was absolutely quiet. But, I chose better thoughts and pulled myself out of that funk. So, it's likely not low-testosterone, but more resistance?

Not sure yet. I'll keep reading my books 27 days, 23 books down.

[Ampersnd]

Day 41 (Side B Day 11),

Today was much better for my mental health; I'm actually excited about the direction of my life; I was productive at work, my singing lesson went well (and my teacher predicted big breakthroughs in the next 1-2 months), Jiu Jitsu went well, and my reading is going well.

But, I only made it 80 pages in 2.5 hours; so, that makes 28 days, 24 books. This is going to become a little difficult. lol

I'm looking forward to finishing this damn book.

[Ampersnd]

Day 42 (Side B Day 12),

Today my vibe was weird; it was like I had two streams of personality alternating each half second. It made my speech and communication feel constrained. It was a strange feeling.

I finished reading the 25th book, even though it took me all day! So that's 29 days, 25 books. I might be able to read the final three books in about 4 days (the final book is going to be LONG).

Then, when I finish this booklist, I'll get some Dairy Queen as a reward.