Trip.1e Bag It - Wrapping Up with my Aura Jimmy Hat - DMSI V3.1

[SargeMaximus]

I'm sure we all have a "darkside," but to say I'm as normal as a "picket fence" is laughable. My own wife is the epitome of a good girl. Her "darkest" interests are war movies, romance novels that take place in 15-17th century England/Scotland. She doesn't drink to excess, and has never done drugs. She's never cheated, and as far as I know, even had thoughts. I've never caught her in a lie, nor has she ever hidden anything from me. And that's just one example. Then there's my dad and my brother - the Dual Princes of Morality. Anyway, I could go on w/ example after example.

No, I never watched Two & a Half Men. I didn't like it, for whatever reason.

My wife not making sex a big cornerstone of life may be a red flag, but I'm not leaving her for it. She's been through some shit - kidnapped by a man who was going to rape and kill her, then "rescued" by her boyfriend who then beat her, and force-***** her whenever he wanted. Then she lost her dad in a hunting accident. Yeah, if she has some trauma in that area, I'll leave her be.

I'm glad you're ***** up, though, Sarge. It definitely makes me feel better - haha. You have to understand, it's not like everyone just goes around airing their dirty laundry. It's the opposite, everybody goes out wearing their "Face." So as far as "getting over myself," it's not like there are a ton of examples of ***** up people out there, unless you count porn stars and the assholes killing people that end up on the evening news. My "best friend" (I've talked about him in my journals before) is a ****-up, and ***** up, and he does ***** up things. I'm pretty sure I could entrust these things I'm talking about with him, except...OH YEAH, I don't trust him. So really, I guess you could say I'm the Black Sheep of my immediate world. The people I interact with on a regular basis, in person, I'm it.

You say my SIL fantasies are tame, well...maybe that's why a lot of ppl on these forums are into the story. I dunno, it's kinda funny that no one has said, "Man, really? Your sister-in-law? That's just ***** up!"

My brother-in-law doesn't get girls. He got my sister-in-law. Big difference. This guy couldn't get a girl if she was spit-out chewing gum and he was a shoe that stepped on it. Seriously. She was his first everything. First date, first kiss, first lay, and he had to beg her about 10 times to go out with him.

I don't live as if I'm going to die tomorrow. People like that...die tomorrow. I just live my life as I want to, and do the best I can, and try to accept that as being good enough. I'm always trying to be a better version of myself, but sometimes I become a somewhat worse version, to get to the better, for a time.

Thanks for your input, though.

I sense I struck a nerve, which was not my intention. But if you're not f*cked up, you're normal (i.e. "white picket fence") so you're one or the other my friend.

No, you're reading to much into it. Lovely thing about the written word, at times it doesn't convey tone all that well if you aren't careful.

I don't think it's that black and white, though, dude. F*cked up or normal. There's a lot of gray area. More than 50 shades of it.

Lol true. The forum miscommunication is such an annoyance to me at times.

And yes that was kind of my point: everybody's normal till you get to know them. There's a book by the same name that I don't recommend but it's absolutely true (the statement, not the book)

[RTBoss]

In the photos, there's a small shout out to a forum member here... wonder if anyone will catch it!

[RTBoss]

Sitting curbside waiting for a sushi to take to my wife, who's working a 24 hour shift, pregnant and hungry.

They "didn't receive the order." I calmly showed email proof, and they were shocked.

I kept my cool, they rushed the order, and we got free dessert to boot. So more screwed up food orders resulting in more free stuff.

Moreover, I'm proud of myself for legit keeping my cool. It wasn't just external, it was internal.

[Blink]

In the photos, there's a small shout out to a forum member here... wonder if anyone will catch it!

I was wondering if that was a typo

[chaosvrgn]

Alrighty, folks. Here it is, the many screenshots of IOIs I received the other night that I was talking about.

SO HEAD'S UP, CATMAN! I'm only leaving this up for 24 hours, if not LESS!


The pictures are in no particular order, but it's pretty accurate. You can probably figure it out for yourself.

We can discuss here, but I'd appreciate no reposting of the pictures. Thanks.

[URL REMOVED PER BOSS'S REQUEST]

If anyone would like to debate whether or not they feel something is an IOI or not, or has more to add, please do. Also, remember that it is the grouping and multitude of IOIs that tell the tale!

PS - I included 2 non-IOI photos for reference.

ROFL! These photos! These are some rather blatant IOIS. I don't understand why your wife isn't slapping the f*ck out of her sister! Especially with the lip touching. Every time I've seen that, if I went for a kiss, not only would she reciprocate enthusiastically, but she'd also wonder how I knew she wanted to be kissed.

[wolverine_i_am]

Why does the link not work? Lol. I am on my android though.

[SargeMaximus]

Those are great. And yes, some of those my hairdresser did yesterday (hair behind ear, exposing opposite wrist) but I'm gonna use those pics as my reference point so thanks RT!

[RTBoss]

Why does the link not work? Lol. I am on my android though.

That's probably it - I just checked it on my Windows 10 PC laptop using Firefox. No issue.

[RTBoss]

Alrighty, folks. Here it is, the many screenshots of IOIs I received the other night that I was talking about.

SO HEAD'S UP, CATMAN! I'm only leaving this up for 24 hours, if not LESS!


The pictures are in no particular order, but it's pretty accurate. You can probably figure it out for yourself.

We can discuss here, but I'd appreciate no reposting of the pictures. Thanks.

[URL REMOVED PER BOSS'S REQUEST]

If anyone would like to debate whether or not they feel something is an IOI or not, or has more to add, please do. Also, remember that it is the grouping and multitude of IOIs that tell the tale!

PS - I included 2 non-IOI photos for reference.

ROFL! These photos! These are some rather blatant IOIS. I don't understand why your wife isn't slapping the f*ck out of her sister! Especially with the lip touching. Every time I've seen that, if I went for a kiss, not only would she reciprocate enthusiastically, but she'd also wonder how I knew she wanted to be kissed.

Yeah, dude - pretty much the only thing missing was leg-waving (windshield-wiper legs) or splayed-leg crotch display.

[RTBoss]

Sitting curbside waiting for a sushi to take to my wife, who's working a 24 hour shift, pregnant and hungry.

They "didn't receive the order." I calmly showed email proof, and they were shocked.

I kept my cool, they rushed the order, and we got free dessert to boot. So more screwed up food orders resulting in more free stuff.

Moreover, I'm proud of myself for legit keeping my cool. It wasn't just external, it was internal.

Lol, so the story didn't stop there!

The chick came back with my food and receipt and said she threw in a $10 gift card. So $8 super-fuckin'-huge brownie with vanilla bean ice cream and a side of fudge and another side of this caramel stuff that was better than caramel...

And then my car won't start. Dead battery. Right there in the "10-Minute Curbside Parking." I'm out of warranty, no free roadside assistance. I text my wife, who's starving. Did I say she was pregnant? Oh, and the almost-3-year-old in the backseat.

Wife signs us up for AAA at work online, sends me the membership number and...60 minutes until I can get a jumpstart. Of course, it's Saturday night! Meanwhile, hottie after hottie after hottie walks into or out of this sushi restaurant. It was insane how hot these girls were. So I start to think...Did DMSI do this? Did I manifest this whole thing? Did I...drain my own battery? Naw...Then I remembered Ghost Adventures, where the physical batteries they use to power their cameras and camcorders would occasionally get drained by spiritual entities.

Now, I'm not sure if the scripting would allow for it, but as you all know - I've been on a PSMF the last 4 days. I'm fuckin' starving. Ok, it's not bad, but I hadn't really eaten anything today. A few pieces of fat free turkey breast and fat free Swiss cheese and a LOT of Diet Mountain Dew. I go to get this food, turn off my car while I'm waiting (which started fine in my driveway not 10 minutes earlier), and watch so many hotties that the SDS would have been drained 100%, not to mention the original sniper and baseline aura.

Is it possible? Crazy thought.

We only ended up waiting about a half-hour. Fed my son most of his meal as we waited, and because I didn't want to turn off my car at the hospital and go in and eat with my wife (for fear the battery would be dead again), I just dropped the food off. I probably got home at the exact same time as if I had had no battery issue and went into the hospital to eat.

At the end of the day, we got some free shit, got AAA coverage we probably should have had all along for cheaper than I would have guessed, saw some hot-pieces-of-ass, and now...I'm eating the goddamn brownie sundae. Well, guess I got my refeed...Back to PSMF tomorrow!

[mat422]

So, where is all this going? There is a face I wear, and then there is the deepest, truest, most honest "me." No one knows "me," but "me." I've never found a person like me who'd I'd trust with "me." No one who'd understand, no one who'd "get it." This leaves me feeling very alone at times. I'd prefer to hide this "me" and not deal with the fallout and/or judgement of "trying to get people to understand."

This hits really close to home. I deal with the same exact thing. For what it's worth I've come to the conclusion that this is really just a deep fear of rejection for me. It's funny because I can have a IDGAF attitude with shallow interaction, but as soon as something gets intimate or personal that charade dies out and the true fears come to the surface. But what I really want to say, and you probably already know this, is that when you continually hide that deeper part of yourself you create self imposed isolation. It seems safer, more convenient, but in the long term you're denying a part of yourself and ruining your chances of one day finding a person who gets you. And I think the most messed up part is the people who would get you are putting on a face as well. Day to day it's impossible to detect who's being their genuine self vs performing.

Also from what you wrote it sounds like you're a sensitive person. And I don't mean that in the typical crying or soft way. I mean that your body feels things on a deeper level, your depth of emotion is greater than others. It's only natural that you'd heavily guard your inner self because most people have no consideration for the feelings of others.

[Illumi]

Damn shame i missed seeing the pics

[wolverine_i_am]

It's still there. On page 12.

[ReeZoX]

Actually, I recently read something ... somewhere ... that showed women are capable of getting their sexual desires completely satisfied by reading material. Not sure how accurate that is, but it makes a lot of sense.

I postulated getting kinky to her. She laughed. Tieing her up freaks her out - probably something to do with the kidnapping. Spanking? No go. I've purchased toys, done all kinds of shit. The kinkiest I've got her to try was when I got out the Hitachi magic wand I bought and said I was going to give her orgasms, one after the other, until she couldn't handle it anymore. I think she stopped me at 3, lol. That was years ago.

Early on in our relationship, when we were having sex a lot, she acted as if she didn't want to - but it seemed playful. It was almost like a rape-fantasy. I couldn't tell then, and I couldn't tell to this day. I asked her about it, and she wouldn't talk about it.

Satisfied to the point where they don't want "bad" sex? - Yeah most likely.

But erotic literature is like porn, for women. It's only "that good". A good fuck is obviously gonna be better than "porn".

Just like women do give subtle signs for showing interest, with body language. They also give other "subtle signs", in this case, which I regard as her asking you to read these books. And if you approach a woman in the wrong way you get a rejection, even if you got some IoIs. Which may happen in a marriage as well. With that analogy, I would say that's what happened when you asked if it's something she wants to do. Even if she may have wanted to, and given implications of it (IoIs) when you initially "pull the trigger" she doesn't dare to say yes.

Now do take this with a grain of salt (like you should with anything), because I don't know how your marriage is. But your wife may not feel comfortable enough to live out her fantasies, your job is, to make her that comfortable with you.

If the woman is the ocean. You are the rock that's not to be moved by anything she throws at you, not matter how big ass waves she creates. She should be able to relax by simply being in your presence. Now this will almost definitely be harder for her since she did experience the abuse together with a lot of things as well.
When a woman knows she can't move that rock (man) she will start getting relaxed, because then she knows that this man also can't be influenced