Going Super Sexy Saiyan (DMSI 3.1A)

[maxx55]

Woke up this morning and soon had a headache. It's gone now (just sensations every now and then), but I don't know if that's a good sign or bad. It was really irritating this morning.

Anyway, I was debating between getting a cheaper penis extender or a new pair of Ultraboosts, but I checked and the company and the extender has bad reviews. It just seems like Phallosan is the best option with low to no risk for injuring something important. And that's not an option for me at the moment due to it's price. So I ended up using Paypal credit to pay for a pair of sneakers at a damn good price. But now I'm questioning myself if buying them is just another form of escape. I've been thinking of just getting a cheaper pair that would be great too. I just thought the awesome price meant I should go for them since I like them, but I think I may just be buying them to try to feel better. It's my first purchase ever on credit, and I have the cash to cover over half the price of the shoes, and I know I'll pay it off in 6 months no doubt, but idk.

I only did 3 loops yesterday btw because I didn't have time for a 4th. I'll do 4 loops today, but if I get another crazy headache tomorrow or so, I may just drop down to 3 loops.

[maxx55]

Due to time constraints, I only was able to do 3 contiguous loos today and I just did the fourth loop. After my classes today, I felt calm, almost in a state of power. It's been a pretty damn long time since I felt that even a little.

I've been doing cold showers for the past 3 days. Apparently, it legit has effects on the brain to correct depression symptoms. I don't usually feel "amazing" like so many others say when I get out, but I am committed to doing this. It's a bit easier to do it soon after a workout.

I really wondered if TM was going to help me or help me get where I intend to be. And I do believe so. Steady progress. I can say this because even though it was faint, I haven't felt any sense of power in my life since I've been on subs yet I felt it today. Today is/was good.

I complimented my professor today. Her hair was awesome so I told her I liked it today. I don't know what came over me, but I was just insanely turned on and really wanted to let me hand run through her hair and makeout with her. I was surprised to feel that there in class. In response to my compliment, she said that she usually doesn't do anything to it but she did today and she said thank you. I don't think this really means anything though as she is married and one time when I walked with her to her office, she didn't seem to particularly want to engage me. But it was a different experience for me today.

I'm seeing slow yet steady progress in the gym. Just need to keep my nutrition clean.

I'm considering running DMSI at regular sub times tomorrow to see what happens. Why not? It's the only day that I'd be willing to risk anything because I at least have Sunday to deal with major effects. So I'm considering that. In the past, I usually increased my sub hours on weekends since I had extra time and I'd usually feel a very slight "level up" by Monday, but then go through the ringer by the time the following weekend arrived, so it never felt like the "level up" was permanent. It just meant I started the week off better than the average weekday would go for me.

And if you were wondering, no noticeable celebrity effects or effects with girls yet.

P.S. I'm not spending that much time on the forums atm, so I'm very rarely reading anyone's journals. Usually it's just Shannon's. Just a PSA.

[maxx55]

So I did 8 loops today. Nothing noticeable in terms of feeling different yet. Tomorrow I know I'll only have time for like 3-4. I might just do 3 loops for the coming week to see if anything changes, plus it's more time efficient than trying to do 4 loops.

[maxx55]

Still working on going through my subconscious to release stuff. Julien said to pretty much imagine what we think of as worst case scenarios, become aware of the emotions and sensations associated to that, face it, and release it. Of course, even that's not a "slay the dragon or die" approach. It still takes time. But I'm going to start going at it from that angle.

I've been more aware in my dreams. Usually, I don't realize that I'm having a dream while being in the dream. That's happened at a higher frequency lately. Before now, I could count the times on one hand that I realized I was dreaming during the dream.

Sticking with 3 loops for this week. 4 takes too much time. I might do all day loops again on Saturday to see what happens. Maybe Saturday and Sunday.

On a side note, my old iPhone 5 has been having charging issues. Makes sense, I've had it since the day it came out. So I'm selling it (still have my iPhone 7 though). I'm gonna replace it with a Nexus 5. I did some looking into Android phones. People rave about how good they are. I tried the Evo 3D back when it came out for about a month, loved the 3D features, liked the bigger screen, didn't like Android all that much. Seems like it's improved a lot since then, so I'm giving it another try. From what I can gather, it seems like Android is the Nintendo of smartphones. Innovating with the newest things (OLED screens, fingerprint sensors, etc.) while Apple waits until it can implement a perfected version of that technology in the iPhone. It also seems like it's best to get a Nexus/Google phone if you go with Android for quick quick updates and best overall performance and fluidity. I look forward to trying the Nexus 5.

[maxx55]

Had to report a couple of notable dreams before I forgot.

In one dream, I was here on campus and I saw a girl coming out of a building, and I sat down at a table nearby. No intentions to do anything. I think I got on my phone or something and a few minutes later I got up to go and somehow the girl was sitting at the table right next to me, very close. She got up as soon as I did and came over to me to tell me something. I didn't hear/understand her so I was like "What?" Then I could clearly her when she said it the second time "I think you're cute" and she started to cry a bit. I immediately took it as her being so nervous to say that to me that she cried because she may have thought I was rejecting her by making her repeat it. I intentionally told her thank you with a big smile to make her feel better. She then asked me where do I live. I don't remember what happened next but I do remember a later part of the dream.

Somehow me, the girl and my parents were all in a department store but I wasn't talking much because I was around my parents. Afterwards, the girl texts me asking me if I was being real with her. I didn't know exactly what she meant but I thought she meant how I was quiet around my parents. I knew from the text she was really interested in me. I don't remember anything else from this dream, but I do remember a glimpse of a second dream.

I looked at myself in the mirror and I had a full on beard. Not a long beard, but a full beard, some gray hairs in there as well. I found it hard to believe I looked like that. I still felt young and like me but I was surprised at my appearance. Never had a dream before where I looked different, maybe have powers, but never looked different, or non that I can recall where I looked in a mirror.

[maxx55]

Well I had to wait in a long line today to get tickets for an event. There was definitely over a thousand people. I saw plenty of attractive girls. No responses. I just got irritated in myself. I felt angry and irritated that I didn't have the basic skill of getting any kind of mate. I feel like that's just a basic skill that men have and not having that makes me feel less than a man. I hate it.

I wrote down my trail of beliefs in a notebook so that I'd know exactly what the major things are I need to focus on releasing and the thought patterns that back them up.

[maxx55]

I'm going to do version A for the rest of this week. Starting Monday, I will do version B starting at 2 loops for that week.

I feel like I don't want to keep doing this sub over summer when it doesn't seem to be helping. I'm debating between using other methods once summer starts. If I do that though, I will still definitely come back and run the final DMSI. But all that is hypothetical. I just don't want to waste the time I have, so I'll do what seems like the best option when the time comes.

[maxx55]

I really just don't know what to do right now. I'm sick of feeling the way I do, I'm sick of being what I am. I just want to feel better and live the life I'd like to, that's all. But right now I don't feel like going to class. I hate it. I don't feel like socializing with people most of the time. I feel so distant from everyone but I don't feel like socializing. I'm just sick of the way things are. I know that as I am now, I won't be that successful in the entertainment industry. And I enjoy doing what I do. But right now I just hate people. I just saw one of cory's videos about viewing women as people, as human beings. I don't even understand what the fuck it means to be a human being. I don't know what it means to "treat someone like a human being". I definitely wouldn't say that girls treated me like a person. My emotions and how I felt were never considered. They didn't think how their actions would impact me. So why the fuck should I care how it impacts them outside of how others would perceive me?

The best relationship I ever had was with my dog and best friend. But now he's gone and I won't ever see him again. I find it so fucking sad that an animal can communicate with me better than fucking people. Of course, he was intelligent, but come on he couldn't even speak english. Like what the fuck. It's things like this that make me lose hope in humanity. I know that people must form bonds and connections just to survive, let alone thrive. That's especially important in the industry I'm going into. I just feel like I'm fucked every way. I feel like either I'm gonna change or be faced with a terrible, unhappy existence.

[Nox]

Honestly it sounds like it'd be a good idea to do 2 loops of version A consistently.

[CatMan]

Honestly it sounds like it'd be a good idea to do 2 loops of version A consistently.

Amen.

Definitely sounds like the normal, prescribed 2 loops of Version A is required here. I wouldn't do the overdose stuff anymore, just stick to the 2 loops of A. That's a whole lot of deep, dark stuff, Maxx. It needs to get dealt with. A is your ticket to that, man.

You can do it! I seem to have had a VERY rough time on V3.0.1, but now on this version, it's been hugely smooth sailing. I feel bad about you guys having such brutal experiences now on this, it reminds me of my times on V3.0.1. I guess once a lot of garbage is gone, which maybe is what V3.0.1 did for me, things got much better even on a more powerful, intense version. So it can happen with time for you too!

Hope that helps.

[maxx55]

Alright, I'll do 2 loops of A then.

Shannon said himself that if I know of another mind programming that works better for me to go with that. That really sounds like he doubts that DMSI will do anything for me. He would know, he made it. And regardless of what I do, he has my money.

But if you guys really think that 2 loops is going to be helpful, then I'll stick with that. Saves me time that way too.

[CatMan]

Yeah, you've read way into those words he said. He was saying that in the context of using only one method of mind programming at once, meaning use DMSI, OR that course thing you talked about, not both. So to paraphrase, he meant that if you feel something ELSE would be better, to go do it, not do both. Nothing about him doubting DMSI or you...just to stick to one thing at time so you know what works and doesn't work. And so you can provide relevant useful feedback since DMSI is the only variable.

And yes, 2 loops of A is likely far better than any other number. He uses that number for the instructions, so it's probably the best way to go.

[maxx55]

Yeah, you've read way into those words he said. He was saying that in the context of using only one method of mind programming at once, meaning use DMSI, OR that course thing you talked about, not both. So to paraphrase, he meant that if you feel something ELSE would be better, to go do it, not do both. Nothing about him doubting DMSI or you...just to stick to one thing at time so you know what works and doesn't work. And so you can provide relevant useful feedback since DMSI is the only variable.

And yes, 2 loops of A is likely far better than any other number. He uses that number for the instructions, so it's probably the best way to go.

Are you sure about that? I went to look for that post to re-read it for myself, but couldn't find it. All I remember is that I did take it to mean that he didn't think DMSI would help.

I may have misinterpreted it then. That was the whole reason I decided to start experimenting different numbers of loops.

[CatMan]

Yeah, you've read way into those words he said. He was saying that in the context of using only one method of mind programming at once, meaning use DMSI, OR that course thing you talked about, not both. So to paraphrase, he meant that if you feel something ELSE would be better, to go do it, not do both. Nothing about him doubting DMSI or you...just to stick to one thing at time so you know what works and doesn't work. And so you can provide relevant useful feedback since DMSI is the only variable.

And yes, 2 loops of A is likely far better than any other number. He uses that number for the instructions, so it's probably the best way to go.

Are you sure about that? I went to look for that post to re-read it for myself, but couldn't find it. All I remember is that I did take it to mean that he didn't think DMSI would help.

I may have misinterpreted it then. That was the whole reason I decided to start experimenting different numbers of loops.

Yes I am.

You talked to him about it in this journal I think, and in the discussion thread where you brought up other stuff related to it again.

Come on, man, you know he wouldn't say flat out it wouldn't work on you and to give up or whatever. That isn't his style at all. It was around the time you wanted him to do some model stuff on if it would ever work for you. Which is of course ultimately impossible to magically "predict", from afar, given almost no real information to judge, and as the program advances the "chance" it can work changes also. And if given time, it absolutely can, in reality only one real way to find out. When you weren't happy with his answer, and said you wanted to look at doing something else, that's when he said the words discussed, that you can go do something else if you feel it'd be faster or better, or stick with DMSI. But not to do both, because you won't know what is effective and what isn't, and wouldn't be able to give actionable info to advance development. I understand things can be misunderstood, but I'm surprised this was, as it seemed clear. But I hope it is now. In fact, I'm pretty sure I remember PM'ing with you back and forth about it.

You are 100% getting results from Version A, posts like the one earlier are massive proof of that. My advice, back off to 2 loops of Version A, at a good volume, preferably headphones and hybrid. And NOTHING else, don't over complicate things. "Too many cooks in the kitchen." is a phrase that comes to mind. If I can feel tangible internal shifts with V3.1, anyone else here can that isn't named Swisston as we are considered the "resisters". And even HE is showing signs of punching through. V3.0.1 caused me a lot of strife that guys are feeling now on V3.1. So much so, that I've wondered if I'm a real "resister" at all, as I'm ahead of the game here now it seems, because V3.1 has been a breeze for me, absolute breeze. Interesting revelation.

You're changing man. Trust me, I see it, I wrote posts like that during V3.0.1 and earlier. Not so much now that I've navigated the internal "storms" I think, already. Stick with it. In time, you can too.