DMSI 3.1A starts tonight
Had some insane dreams last night. Every dream I had, had to do with my fears and overcoming them.
I'm going to try and keep it simple. I was with that woman from my work (from my last journal response on my other thread) she was at my house and she was moody / not very responsive. She then said she's hungry and I said I can make you something ( or get you something) from upstairs. She said she wanted mcdonalds, "I assertively in my dream said "Mcdonalds is kind of gross, I can make you something from upstairs if you like" She said "I want mcdonalds", so I said "Okay if you want mcdonalds, lets go get mcdonalds" and we left. Then we were outside somewhere in another dream with her, and she said something I don't remember and I was like "Do you like me?" She said "Not really" (in a shy way), Then I said "Well I like you", then she responded "Well I like you too " as if the only reason she said no was because she thought I didn't like her. I had another dream too where I was intimidating the guys from my work just by being myself. I wasn't doing anything intentionally but they were fearful of me. My coworker got mad at me for talking about subliminals and told me to shut up. I felt like it's because he saw DMSI changing me and was scared I'm changing. (in real life I haven't talked to any coworkers about subliminals) I also spoke to Bill Clinton in this dream in front of a large crowd and he asked if anyone wants to ask a question and I asked him if I can make a statement instead, I forget what my statement was. I remember in this dream at one point i was talking to some guy giving him advice on woman and relationships at a table like you see at weddings and this woman was sitting at the table next to us and she started getting attracted to me. After the Bill Clinton thing the building came on fire and I ran to my room to get my Dog that was stuck there and I woke up right after. I forget some other details of the dream but I remember waking up mid night and thinking holy shit this program is working really hard to deal with my issues.
03-07-2017, 11:10 AM
Had a dream I saw a and met a childhood friend of mine who died in a car crash. I met up with him and he told he he has leukemia and he is dying. I started crying. I was hanging out with him and snowboarding ( i haven't snowboarded since I was a kid)
Then in another dream some chick from my school I went too saw me and she came in a cab with me and i put my arm around her and started kissing her cheeks. Very boldy. She left suddenly after that and then in the dream I realized that she left after we made out because I had just eaten allot of onions. LMAO. Then I went to my new apartment (in the dream I was moving into some new TERRIBLE crack head apartments. It was the worst living situation ever) Thankfully I woke up after that I realized that was just a dream and that I didn't actually live there.
Just came back from my bail supervisor.
She wasn't there so I met with another woman that I had met once before but I don't remember our previous interaction as it was several months ago. First thing she said was "I've met you before' I was like "ya I think so" anyways long story short I was extremely alpha, confident, high self esteem, happy, smiling and or laughing when it was appropriate (when I made a joke or if she did) My eye contact was 10/10, I was building rapport, I talked about her, asking her where she is from, if that's her natural hair color, my favoritre TV show, geography and I even made a joke about her liking criminals. (we were talking about why she got into this type of work) Honestly she probably liked me but it's hard to say. She was very receptive and nice and social with me but I still can't tell if she liked me for sure. Even though I felt like it because of her body language and eye contact i'm not 100 percent sure. The most important thing so is that I felt absolutely amazing and comfortable around her. I had high self esteem and there was never any point in the interaction where I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin and I was NEVER in my head. for the record she was like 6 foot 1, blonde, pale, and blue eyes. a 10/10 woman. FUCK YEAH DMSI WORK YOUR MAGIC
Took a two hour nap. Was extremely tired. Also I'm about to eat again. I'm starving again.
I've been starving randomly throughout the day. Can definitely feel my body craving food from the usage of this sub. I'm never usually this hungry.
03-09-2017, 02:20 PM
Was super hungry and tired again today. just woke up from a long nap. About to go get some Sushi, will report back if anything worthy of reporting happens.
Only 1 thing that was interesting happened.
I was walking back from the donair place I went too and this guy in his late 20's nodded at me VERY noticeably as I was walking past. He nodded very hard. Like a giant NOD if that makes sense. I hadn't even really made eye contact with him. I'm not sure if this was because of the aura and or my body language but it was a very blunt and obvious aggressive nod. Not a typical nod. (by aggressive I don't mean hostile btw) shortly before that happened in a unrelated note I was walking across the street intersection before I was supposed too (because there was no cars or dangers of me walking across.) And there was this beautiful young lady around my age waiting to cross and I looked at her and waved at her to cross, but she did not. She was really beautiful.
Feeling slightly sad but not sure why.
That content/buzzing/euphoria feeling from yesterday is gone. I feel like at the back of my mind I'm dealing with the fear of being rejected or hurt by this chick at work that I like because in the past whenever I actually like someone I always fucked things up. I can't tell exactly what's going on but I kind of feel like that's one of the reasons why i'm sad. I'm not super sad though, just very subtly. I'm bored too which probably doesn't help. (earlier my friend came over and I was freestyling to words he was throwing out and that made me feel good, I had plans for a bonfire today but the rain stopped that) I do feel like the program is working at resolving some issues right now. On the bright side i'm happy I won't see that woman that I like from 2 weeks because it allows for the program to help resolve these problems in the mean time.
03-10-2017, 02:10 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-10-2017, 02:11 AM by dissonance.)
(03-08-2017, 10:56 AM)Rayhon Wrote: Just came back from my bail supervisor. Before, DMSI, would you be super nervous in that type of interaction with that attractive of a female? (03-10-2017, 02:10 AM)dissonance Wrote:(03-08-2017, 10:56 AM)Rayhon Wrote: Just came back from my bail supervisor. well before subliminals I was extremely nervous and awkward being alone with a super hot woman. Especially if they were closer to my age and or I actually liked them. I got major confidence from subliminal usage up to the point where I was having conversations with very beautiful woman and it was no biggie. (and dated a woman 10/10 8 years older, last year) Some sub effects fade away from me over time but not completely. before using DMSI I was pretty solid with women but there would be times where I was not at all, like If I was stoned. I've been comfortable with beautiful woman for a long time now every since my second AM runs. How ever, being sexual and flirty with these woman is a different story. It's allot harder for me to become openly sexual and or flirty or straight up and ask a woman out. Anxiety wise I get no anxiety around beautiful women. I haven't since my second am run. The only times I would get anxiety with women nowadays was when I messed up my testosterone dose and was accidentally on too low testosterone (much less then average test levels a man should have) However the playfulness, and level of comfort and flirting and self esteem that I have now is at an all time high. If I stop using DMSI now for a year i'l still be comfortable around women but wont have the same smoothness, and might be in my head sometimes. I noticed with subliminals while your on the subliminal is when the effects are most potent, the longer you get off it my smoothness fades a way bit. however I'll never be the same person I was before subliminals. Where I was too nervous or shy to even look a man in the eyes properly (unless they were my close friends or family) I had major social anxiety before subliminals. Now i"m generally the highest self esteem and confident person in the room.
Felt totally confident all day at work, no anxiety or stress related to women and barely any for work itself.
Had some interactions with new females one of them being a manager. I had strong eye contact and flirting with my body language / eyes / demeanor. hard to explain but I didn't say anything sexual we were talking about normal stuff but I was just super alpha today and just by talking could notice attraction going up in at least 1 of the women today (one of the hostess managers, shes in her late 20s) anyways I noticed overall I care less about these women and am more chill and comftorable around them. No anxiety like my first few days at work. But having normal test and not fluctuating test is a big reason why. Although DMSI is definitely helping for sure I can tell. Building rapport with some of the waitresses at work, socializing and being happy and playful is coming much more natural for me atm.
03-13-2017, 08:22 AM
(03-11-2017, 03:40 AM)Rayhon Wrote:(03-10-2017, 02:10 AM)dissonance Wrote:(03-08-2017, 10:56 AM)Rayhon Wrote: Just came back from my bail supervisor. Awesome man. How old are you now anyways? |
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