mat422 alpha journal

[mat422]

I ride regular. Although, being an ambidextrous skater is one of my goals. Two issues I am having trouble figuring out on my own are:
-Slowing down (especially slowing down when going fast down a hill)
-Turning (heels dig backward & balls of feet push forward) or push down with back foot and turn body
**** how do you turn when going fast

Alright so hills aren't my specialty lol. One day I'll get them down but for now my trucks are so loose I catch the speed wobbles and it wrecks me. The best way to slow down when going fast down a hill, although it takes some practice, is to power slide. It's hard to explain but basically you turn the board horizontal in front of you and lean back which causes you to slide on your wheels and it slows you down. You should check out some youtube videos for it because it would give you a better idea of what to do. The other thing is to learn to carve, if you have ever snowboarded you'll know what I mean, it helps because you aren't going straight down the hill which causes a lot of momentum. The last thing you can do is just hang your back foot's toes off the board and let them drag, it'll slow you down a little but this is really only good for preventing yourself from going too fast, once you are going really fast it's not really a good idea to drag anything on the ground lol.

I think you have the basic idea for turning. Heels and toes, it's all about leaning and moving your weight from one side to the other. Turning on a skateboard is pretty natural, so you probably already know what to do. The other thing is the tightness of your trucks affects your turning. Loose trucks let you carve a lot easier and turn, tight trucks are a little harder to turn with, but they offer more stability for a beginner. It's all preference really, I prefer loose trucks because I like the freedom. If you are having problems turning I'd say loosen em up a bit to what feels comfortable.

[woceyes]

Don't use snowboarding movement on a skateboard they are two different things like mat says use your weight to turn. I had major problems going from a skate board to a snowboard, i was rolling down the mountain more then i was gliding down it. lol

You can also use the back end of your board and scratch the hell out of it slowing down like doing a manual but just grinding the ground with it. I suggest not doing it lol

Mat it sounds like Alpha is working its elusive magic on you. keep up the great work

I hate what society (at least in American society) has done to people in general. I have a friend who might be having another kid after a one night stand. He started feeling like he was a bad person because if its his he would have two kids from different mothers and not married. I told him that was society and its views on whats "right" accidents happen its what you do afterwords that makes you good or bad.

[JamesC71]

Mat422: I understand feeling the disconnect. I am at day 26 on stage 2 and I feel that a lot. It's always kind of been there but now that I am doing this program it seems to be getting stronger.I can't relate to the general population a lot with their focus on television and stuff that doesn't matter.It's as if people have given up living their lives and want someone else to do it for them.Maybe it's easier for them to do that because then when something goes wrong they can blame someone else and ignore any level of personal responsibility

[Jeff]

Alright so hills aren't my specialty lol. One day I'll get them down but for now my trucks are so loose I catch the speed wobbles and it wrecks me. The best way to slow down when going fast down a hill, although it takes some practice, is to power slide. It's hard to explain but basically you turn the board horizontal in front of you and lean back which causes you to slide on your wheels and it slows you down. You should check out some youtube videos for it because it would give you a better idea of what to do. The other thing is to learn to carve, if you have ever snowboarded you'll know what I mean, it helps because you aren't going straight down the hill which causes a lot of momentum. The last thing you can do is just hang your back foot's toes off the board and let them drag, it'll slow you down a little but this is really only good for preventing yourself from going too fast, once you are going really fast it's not really a good idea to drag anything on the ground lol.

I think you have the basic idea for turning. Heels and toes, it's all about leaning and moving your weight from one side to the other. Turning on a skateboard is pretty natural, so you probably already know what to do. The other thing is the tightness of your trucks affects your turning. Loose trucks let you carve a lot easier and turn, tight trucks are a little harder to turn with, but they offer more stability for a beginner. It's all preference really, I prefer loose trucks because I like the freedom. If you are having problems turning I'd say loosen em up a bit to what feels comfortable.

I powerslid once and nearly killed myself lol, I am still learning though. Do you go to skateparks? Cracks in the road and sidewalk send my flying everytime I go over one. I am able to drag my foot a bit, but my balance isn't the greatest yet. Any exercise that helped you in the past?

Ha, yeah I tried using the back of the board as a braking system, the bottom of my board was torn up!

Having a kid in any society is a pretty big deal. Whether it be deemed positive or negative, that is a lot of responsibility to take up.

[mat422]

I've got a skatepark close by that I go to. I'm still not that good at riding tranny, dropping in is one of my biggest fears right now so I might work on that soon. For the most part I just skate flatground in front of my house.

Oh yeah and about those cracks try to lift up your front wheels when going over them. Your balance will improve the more you keep skating, it's like first learning to ride a bike.

This is my favorite website when I need help with tricks. http://skateboard-city.com/. It's got some good beginner stuff there too. But skateboarding really is all about practice. The more you skate, the more little things you will figure out for yourself. Try learning to do manuals, those help a lot with your balance.

[Jeff]

Neither am I. Here is something I've been doing, it may help. Find some elevated platform, like stairs. And keep getting higher up. I think dropping in will be my favorite when I get my skills up to par.

Yeah, I've been working on my balance and flexibility hard core lately. I can do a reversal or whatever it's called pretty easy now. My left turns are not so hot though. I might go to a skatepark a mile from my house for the day. Do you know if they have a cover charge (indoor)?

[mat422]

So tonights the last night of stage 5 and as usual I'll sum up what happened for this stage. I'm probably going to write this out because a list won't really do justice to whats on my mind right now.

Ok so I've looked back and realized I've come a long way. I don't know how much stage 6 is going to affect me, but for me a second run through of alpha is definitely going to occur sometime in my future. The results I've seen so far have just brought me to a tremendously peaceful state of mind. Prior to alpha I felt inferior, that's the best way to describe it. I felt out of place with everyone, life was a wreck and I got by but I knew something was up with me. I knew people could sense it and I was tired of it. Now I feel amazing, people's negativity or opinions of me don't matter and I'm free to just enjoy life. Plain and simple, I feel like an alpha male. Having a certain mindset and knowing about a certain mindset are two completely different things. For years I knew what I had to do, I knew about my ego, I knew that I improved but only to a certain degree. I had the knowledge about how to be a better person but I could not use it at all. This subliminal pretty much bridged that gap and now my mindset is on autopilot, I don't have to consciously steer myself in a certain direction, I just am.

I think we all grow from the subliminals in a different way, some of us are really receptive and others tend to have trouble making the change. I'm resistant to change on a subconscious level, I can say I'm not but I know that would be a lie. I'm definitely going to take a break from alpha male for a while after finishing, but I will return to it because I feel it would benefit me even more. The good news is that it will be like a nice little bonus run through as opposed to my first alpha journey when I felt desperate and I was craving results. But who knows, maybe when I'm done with alpha things will all come into place. Either way I'm sure my brain needs some well deserved rest, 6 months straight of hardcore conditioning and I can't wait to let it all soak in and just chill for a while.

[mat422]

A little self reflection and insight into what I'm going through. Progressing through these stages I've become less interested in women in general. Maybe this is just the upside down feeling that will go away after I'm done, but my emotions in general are very stoic. Prior to alpha the main reason I'd want to get girls is for the feel good feeling, like a drug. Well, basically those feelings don't come up anymore unless I interact with a really authentic awesome girl and I feel that connection. Whatever image I had of women before starting this set is long gone, and while it presents me with absolute freedom I also feel a loss in a way. I think most guys have these ideas or fantasies of what love is or how relationships are and it's just all been reinforced by the media.

But seeing as how I started stage 6 recently, the beginnings are always a little bumpy. Right now I want to do away with that war of the sexes thing that has become so popular. Women blaming men, men blaming women. It's a toxic discussion to get into and right now I'm still trying to purge myself of the stupid advice I've internalized over the years from pick up. A girl with high self esteem and being secure in herself wouldn't fall for those stupid tactics anyway. Yet a lot of pick up artists just assume that women are irrational or bitches.

Bottom line, quality and not quantity for me. One amazing girl would easily trump 50 mediocre ones.

[mat422]

I need to vent here and maybe get some opinions on something. Last night I got stuck between some serious drama between my best friend and his girlfriend. She's got an alcohol problem which she refuses to acknowledge and my friend has tried everything. We were at a party and she was drunk and decided to make out with another guy there. Their relationship has been pretty rocky and truth be told I think she was just looking for a way out and the alcohol was convenient. She probably didn't want to face him sober and she used the alcohol as a way to hide behind herself. She told him to his face that she may or may not have made out with another guy at the party. She definitely did though, the worst part is I know the guy and the dude knew that she was in a relationship. I hate alcohol, it brings out the dark side in people sometimes and causes too many problems.

My friend was destroyed last night, it's one thing to have a girl breakup with you, but it's a whole different story when she tells you to your face that she cheated on you. I think the problem was my friend was more invested in her than she was in him and he told me that she made him happy. I knew she was going to break up, but I'm so disappointed that she couldn't handle this situation like a grown adult.

I like having both sides of the story and I'm not a guy that jumps to one side or badmouths somebody just to make them feel better. The fact is what she did is inexcusable, but at the same time my best friend was using her as a crutch for his happiness and came across as very needy. So I'm stuck right in the middle now which sucks, because I was also friends with his girlfriend.

I'm going to lay low for a while and see how things pan out. The one thing that I can't get out of my mind is how my friend was telling me that she was always distant and he felt like she used him at times. I don't know if that's his perception of this situation and he's just intensely needy or if she was really that much of a bitch. I'm not justifying her behavior but lets be honest, nice guys in today's society get chewed up and spat out, if you are needy with a girl it's over and nobody tells you that from the beginning. Nobody tells you these unwritten rules of relationships and a lot of what you are told is just a lie.

As for me I've been a loner most my life, I've made it on my own plenty of times and I've learned that a girl doesn't fix your problems. I just wish my friend could have made the relationship work or broke it off when it got bad, but he was dependent on it like a drug to make him happy and unfortunately I saw it coming.

[Spiral]

Well, you don't want to criticize people for their actions and it seems like you don't do that. As far as being stuck in the middle: it sucks. I've been there. I guess you have to ask yourself who's the better friend. Who do you feel like could be there for you when you need them. I would say since the dude she broke it off with is your best friend and you feel that her actions are inexcusable then obviously you should break contact with the girl. All you can do now is be there for your friend and help him get his mind off things. As far as the girl.. say you see her again at a party or whatever just understand the things she's done in the past but I wouldn't let that get in the way of a friendly conversation.

The situation I had before was the same except I became better friends with my friends ex-girlfriend and I saw deep into my male friends motives overall. He was just a very manipulative person but also compassionate so it was hard to see the bad side of him. I killed a friendship but I was ok with it.

[mat422]

Thanks for the input Spiral. You know I was hoping it wouldn't come to choosing. But if I had to it would be my best friend because I've got a tight bond with him and he needs all the help he can get right now. Just being stuck in the middle is a weird feeling you know? I know what she did is wrong, but because she didn't do it to me personally it's like it doesn't bother me as much. Like I feel like I should be furious, but my ability to handle my emotions just makes me very stoic and I just let it go. It's actually more difficult this way. When you can just let stuff go whereas others hold onto it, it makes it harder to relate with people on that emotional level.

[Spiral]

I would like to add that I'm still on good terms with my old buddy.. but I think he doesn't feel the same way because I have reason to believe he started a rumor that I had hooked up with his ex right after they broke up blah blah and he practically turned our circle of friends against me. It is unfortunate.

[mat422]

That seems passive aggressive. I'll never understand people that do things behind your back instead of confronting you about it, probably fear.

So a little update. My friend talked to her the other day and got things straightened out with her. He said she was really cold and bitchy, but as he was leaving she started to break down and cry. He was pretty drunk and angry the night she cheated on him, but he's collected himself these past few days. Whether or not I'll see her again I don't know, but I am worried about her. She pretty much escapes reality with alcohol which is a dangerous path. Having the inability to cope with the stress of life without being intoxicated isn't good for anyone. She denies it all the time, gets angry when I tell her that it's a problem, etc. I hate seeing anyone with problems because it just gives me a reflection of what I've gone through in the past and I've got a lot of empathy for them.

I'm going to give it another week to let things settle a little more then talk to her. Hopefully she'll be willing to open up a little.

As a side note I've been feeling like crap lately. It feels just like stage 1 of alpha male and I've been in that dark place for a while now. The only difference is I'm acknowledging it, but not feeding it or wallowing in it. I'm definitely stronger mentally, but life has seemed like a chore lately. I've also been less forgiving of myself which I've been trying to watch. I'm only human, I'm not superman. I wish I could accept myself as human though, for some reason I have this ridiculous notion that I should be superman. I don't know if it's a drive to be something greater than I am or me running on a treadmill towards a goal of perfection that is impossible to reach. There's a fine line between those two and I straddle it daily, some days leaning more towards one side.

[K-Train]

That seems passive aggressive. I'll never understand people that do things behind your back instead of confronting you about it, probably fear.

So a little update. My friend talked to her the other day and got things straightened out with her. He said she was really cold and bitchy, but as he was leaving she started to break down and cry. He was pretty drunk and angry the night she cheated on him, but he's collected himself these past few days. Whether or not I'll see her again I don't know, but I am worried about her. She pretty much escapes reality with alcohol which is a dangerous path. Having the inability to cope with the stress of life without being intoxicated isn't good for anyone. She denies it all the time, gets angry when I tell her that it's a problem, etc. I hate seeing anyone with problems because it just gives me a reflection of what I've gone through in the past and I've got a lot of empathy for them.

I'm going to give it another week to let things settle a little more then talk to her. Hopefully she'll be willing to open up a little.

As a side note I've been feeling like crap lately. It feels just like stage 1 of alpha male and I've been in that dark place for a while now. The only difference is I'm acknowledging it, but not feeding it or wallowing in it. I'm definitely stronger mentally, but life has seemed like a chore lately. I've also been less forgiving of myself which I've been trying to watch. I'm only human, I'm not superman. I wish I could accept myself as human though, for some reason I have this ridiculous notion that I should be superman. I don't know if it's a drive to be something greater than I am or me running on a treadmill towards a goal of perfection that is impossible to reach. There's a fine line between those two and I straddle it daily, some days leaning more towards one side.

Successful people tend to have a "can-do" attitude which sometimes causes them to believe they are "superhuman". This isn't neccesarily a bad thing because when you expect a lot from yourself it pushes you to do greater things and keeps you from settling for mediocrity. It reminds me of a quote by Carl Jung, "The ideal aim of the unsuccessful is to be normal".