(Sub-Swap) Stop S̶t̶u̶t̶t̶e̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ Masturbating 4G and Ultra Motivation 4G

[Ampersnd]

Day 65,
Day 4 SMast. 5 Days since last PMO

Going strong with my leave of abstinence.
I've done some reading and thinking about the military. I don't exactly think it will match my sensibilities, especially when it comes to factor of disposability; I don't want the possibility of losing a limb and being forgotten about as a vet. Of course, I'm in Canada, so I would be less likely to be drafted.

[Ampersnd]

By the way, my brain fog is still present, presumably the entire 5 days since my last orgasm. I'm unsure if it's simply the combination between the two subliminals.

However, the combination of subliminals was not present when my brain fog at its strongest, as I waited an entire day before running Stop Masturbating.

I would very much like for this fog to dissipate before the turn of the month, so that I can intensify my lead up to my exam a fortnight thence.

[Ampersnd]

I have sexual energy hanging out in my body; usually, I would want to get rid of that by masturbating. I've now been fantasizing about my previous sexual experiences, and day-dreaming about kissing women all over. I like that I can sit in this energy without trying to get rid of it.

[Ampersnd]

Day 66,
Day 5 SMast. 6 Days since last PMO

I think my balls know deep down that they won't be getting play for a little while; they're a bit sore, even though I've gone longer than this without anything like this.

There was a woman at the gym with a gorgeous figure; I went up and was pretty direct and she shot me down immediately. Oh well.

[Ampersnd]

Day 68,
Day 7 SMast, 8 Days since last PMO

It's becoming easier to follow one of the most intelligent YouTubers I know; it's as if my ears are most available to him while I'm working, like multi-level processing.

He also focuses on 5 points, and spends 2-3 minutes discussing each of them, then BAM, he's got 10-15 minutes. Mind you, he discusses intricate politics in one take.

[Ampersnd]

Day 69 MLS,
Day 8 SMast, 9 Days since last PMO

I've surpassed my longest nofap streak since the start of 2016, all by pressing play and sitting back. There isn't any real urge to do anything, which is interesting. When I saw a piece of porn spam on Facebook, I thought to myself: "hmm. that'd be nice to do in real life" and I moved on.

I look forward to surpassing the 27 day mark, as I will be going into uncharted territory; I have only gone that far about 5 years ago. During those 27 days, I was eternally teased by my cock. It was unbearable, especially in the morning and at night, as I'd get crazy hard-ons. Now, I feel a bit asexual, which I understand is what's called a 'flatline', something the NoFap community has identified and accepted as a common reality. My libido will certainly return.

[Ampersnd]

Mood swings galore.

I've had a tremendous urge to fuck. Now, I'm feeling depressed and discouraged.
I've been told that people who do NoFap face repressed emotions and traumas that they've tended to dull with masturbation.

[Ampersnd]

Day 70 MLS
Day 9 SMast. Day 10 since last PMO

Still going strong!

EDIT: Technically looked at porn; watched a demo of a BJz machine. Guy used it and got off. Didn't jerk off.

[Ampersnd]

Day 71 MLS
Day 10 SMast. Day 11 since last PMO

Had a rehearsal for a singing festival. It went extremely well. The pianist gave high praise to my singing.

[Inconceivablezen]

Did your voice already change because of the no PMO? I haven't watched porn for years, but when I stopped all masturbation new results came kicking in.

And how are your N-back scores doing?

[jonathan4all]

How is your mls going Dan?

[Ampersnd]

@InconceivableZen: I could attest to the lower voice; simply due to the fact that I put more of myself into my speaking. The day I began SMast, I wouldn't put a whole lot of air into my speaking, so it was tough to get down there, either way. It's not lower to what I'm used to.

@jonathan4all: It's okay. I half-read things and I still remember. The one condition is that I engage my brain when finding information; if I just have to receive it passively, it'll pass through me. If I research and make the connections in my mind, then I'll remember it tomorrow. If I recall it another day, then it's more likely to stick.

Day 72 MLS,
Day 11 SMast., Day 12 no PMO,

Note to self: don't sleep naked. It feels too good on my dick, gives an instant wicked big boner, and wakes me the hell up. It took me an hour to fall asleep until I put some clothes on. Sleep 4 hours. Tried it again. Thought I was wide awake until I put more clothes on, then I fell right asleep. Woke up 4 hours later.

Dreamt that I was helping at a high school, then after school, I'm flirting with a hot Russian administrator. We were alone in a room. She was convinced that my arms weren't that big (I was wearing a thick zipped up wool sweater). I take one arm off, and my arm is huge and extremely well developed (thanks dream). She is impressed and wants to feel up my chest and abs by going under my t-shirt. I don't remember after that. Damn.

[Ampersnd]

Day 72 MLS,
Day 12 SMast., Day 13 no PMO,

I'm more of a 'show-er' than a 'grower'; I think that my arousal keeps it such a state. Not ejaculating is quite un-comfortable.

My lifts have increased; my squat is 260lbs x 2, up from 225 just a few weeks ago.

[Ampersnd]

Day 73 MLS,
Day 13 SMast., Day 14 no PMO,

Lifts are still fine.

Did my singing performance; it got picked apart by the adjudicator. Yet, she had high praise for the quality of my voice. My piano accompanist told me to never stop singing.

With that, I might end my streak tonight; I don't feel all that conflicted about it, but it would suck to reset.