AM11 with Jeff

[Jeff]

Yeah the subs have a tendency to make you feel that way sometimes. Just remember it will pass and try to make the best of it. When you feel stuck like that it's only temporary, even though it may feel like it's the worst feeling in the world and your perception is all out of whack. Don't worry about it or beat yourself up too much, you just have to let it go.

I know right, almost like a temporary mental prison. I am glad it is able to be swept away within a day or two. Immersing myself with people or music substantially reduces this feelings. Is that the same with you?

[Spiral]

Immersing myself with people or music substantially reduces this feelings. Is that the same with you?

I can say it's the same for me. When I'm around people I don't end up thinking about what's going on with me anymore. I just observe others and connect with them as well. This really helps me to get away from whatever might be bothering me or bringing me down.

[mat422]

Yeah the subs have a tendency to make you feel that way sometimes. Just remember it will pass and try to make the best of it. When you feel stuck like that it's only temporary, even though it may feel like it's the worst feeling in the world and your perception is all out of whack. Don't worry about it or beat yourself up too much, you just have to let it go.

I know right, almost like a temporary mental prison. I am glad it is able to be swept away within a day or two. Immersing myself with people or music substantially reduces this feelings. Is that the same with you?

Music is a huge outlet for my emotional hangups sometimes. I've actually started producing my own music and it's helped get my mind off things. I don't know what it is about music but it can be very therapeutic.

[Jeff]

Not only the hangups, but supplementing and changing my mood in general. If I am feel like chillin on my bed, I'll put some rap on. If I am in an energetic mood, R&B or intense Techno. Earlier today I was feeling like total crap, listened to Three Days Grace (generally negative group) I coped, and suddenly ina tranquil state.

I am loving these effects of this subliminal. I am finally coming out of the tunnel. I watch this very short TV series today called The League. I was had a total abdominal workout watching it. It has 5 guys in their fantasy league competing to win the Sheva-Bowl. The show covered many important aspects of life.

I joke around with my friends all the time. Oddly I thought this would come haulting to an end as soon as I became an adult. Mainly because my parents are drop-dead serious. Monkey see, monkey do. I am breaking away from invisible chains on a daily basis that would have slipped my guard. I plan on doing everything I want to do. I am open to advise and constructive criticism, but in the end this is my life and my choices. My parents have saught to control my sister life and mine by putting us on the safest and most secure path of life. That plan crashed and burnt for my sister, so it has been much more reinforced. My parents want me to attend the a four-year school and more to get a CPA degree. I earned a +B in that class hating every moment. I don't know, it scares me to wake up one day dreading the majority of all aspects of my life when the person next door lives the wildest and most crazy life imaginable. Which I am semi-actively working towards I have been hacking away at my to-do lists with a razor sharp hatchet. End rant.

[Jeff]

Not only the hangups, but supplementing and changing my mood in general. If I am feel like chillin on my bed, I'll put some rap on. If I am in an energetic mood, R&B or intense Techno. Earlier today I was feeling like total crap, listened to Three Days Grace (generally negative group) I coped, and suddenly ina tranquil state.

I am loving these effects of this subliminal. I am finally coming out of the tunnel. I watch this very short TV series today called The League. I was had a total abdominal workout watching it. It has 5 guys in their fantasy league competing to win the Sheva-Bowl. The show covered many important aspects of life.

I joke around with my friends all the time. Oddly I thought this would come haulting to an end as soon as I became an adult. Mainly because my parents are drop-dead serious. Monkey see, monkey do. I am breaking away from invisible chains on a daily basis that would have slipped my guard. I plan on doing everything I want to do. I am open to advise and constructive criticism, but in the end this is my life and my choices. My parents have saught to control my sister life and mine by putting us on the safest and most secure path of life. That plan crashed and burnt for my sister, so it has been much more reinforced. My parents want me to attend the a four-year school and more to get a CPA degree. I earned a +B in that class hating every moment. I don't know, it scares me to wake up one day dreading the majority of all aspects of my life when the person next door lives the wildest and most crazy life imaginable. Which I am semi-actively working towards I have been hacking away at my to-do lists with a razor sharp hatchet. End rant.

[Jeff]

Finished the first half of becoming an Alpha Male of the year 2011. I have been able to pin-point many changes to the dot. Others came very under the radar. Behavior changes, thought patterns, beliefs. The biggest factors have to be
-Calm attitude and body language mixed in with indifference
-Becoming more goal oriented and keen outlook toward future
-Interactions with people greatly increased
-Able to step-in or walk away from many situations
-Confidence super-booster
-Investing in myself
-Questioning, challenging, altering, and eliminating certain beliefs (still working on this)
-Increased emotional responses, with around 95% control over all.

This has been a fun ride, I am ready for the second half, even though I had a minor hang-up (using mono speakers for stage 1,2, and half of 3). I find myself creating a daily to-do list. Keeps me more organized, motivated, and productive. I want to improve all my strengths and level out all of my weakness.

I found this program called Superman Stamina by Keni Styles, seems really cool. I plan on checking that out within a month to give me a head-start on Sex Magnet

[Shannon]

Stamina is covered in SM.

[Jeff]

Stamina is covered in SM.

How heavily covered is it? Consciously choose when to release correct? Staminia has been a thorn in my side for a while. I want to get it dealt with quick and permenantly. It is just embarassaing and non-enjoyable.

I have been having very strange dreams during Stage 4 so far. They are very lucid. James Bond gives me some informative pieces of advice, but I never remember what he says. Next a former friend and I keep having heated feuds in my dream. The second dream was nearly life-like. He degrades everybody to make himself feel superior. I haven't seen him in 4 months, but memories are irritating me.

---I was at my graduation party having a good time, the guy shows up, walks up to me and whispers in my ear very disrespectful comments. I had a netural response, but he kept at it. I laid him out and walked away furiously, two girls run towards me to see what is wrong, I tell one to come with me, ended up hooking up with her. I know both girls, and one is just great at putting me in a good mood. The other is just silly and immature. When I get back, the guy's father smiled and asked my why I stopped. Then I woke up.

I have a strong feeling manifestations and/or eye seducion takes place in the second half. I was driving yesterday, this beautiful brunette could not take her eyes off me. I thought about seeing where see was going, but I had things to do. Guareenteed this type of situaton will happen a lot more

[Shannon]

Sexual stamina is included for the purpose of keeping you able to go until you want to be finished. How heavily is it covered? Heavily enough to do the job.

[Jeff]

Awesome awesome.

This week has been bizzare! I went to a graduation dinner and reception in which I was one of the honorary people. The dinner was over the top. Nearly too good to eat. There was a prayer session for each person. After I left, all the doubt I ever held about myself faded away. One of the most freeing moments of my life. The night carried on into the reception. All the parents wanted to be entertained by a speech and Improv. I freaking rocked their world I had not a clue what I should say, but words were flowing effortlessly out of my mouth. The crowd was laughing profusely, yet took me seriously. I think it is rare to find the respectable jokester. Haha, this guy told my dad, "Your son is social lubricant." It sounds sexual so it was hard to take the comment without laughing. A few days later I went to my old church for a somewhat similar of the reception. I always felt out of place at this church. Very small town, everybody knows everybody. I was completely aloof to everyone there. For some I saw hope, the majority seemed to be going nowhere fast. Maybe they want that, not my decision. About 90% of the members attend due to family ties. I could see into these people so well. I mixed well in the night, but was mainly in my own deep thoughts of what it would be like to be in their shoes.

Women are gradually pouring into my life. I set-up two dates for this weekend. Going to a carnival with this girl Friday. And watch movies at my house with another girl Saturday. The most shocking happened today. I walked into Buffalo Wild Wings after school, ordered to-go and took my seat. Within a couple minutes, one of the most beautiful woman I ever saw stood a couple feet away. She was the hostess. We locked eyes, and after about two seconds she went to talking full force. I got a glimpse of her whole life story in about 5 minutes by saying maybe 4 words. After I left I thought, "she was totally flirting with me the entire time, why didn't you get her digits?!" Next time i'mma get me some numbers

I feel like real man as of lately.

[ronatello]

Sounds awesome, Jeff! You can be the next Kevin Nealon

[Jeff]

Sounds awesome, Jeff! You can be the next Kevin Nealon

That guy is awesome! "Now here me out..." ha! Best line ever.

Stage four has been welcomingly brutal. Everything I need seriously work-on is being displayed on a grandiose pedestal awaiting me to take care of. I have this large dry erase board that I mark the days of subliminals, urgent matters, events, etc. The most important ones I marked under "My Poisons." Lust (porn), bad eating habits, insecurities, and wasting time are ranked as top priorities. My plans for this month are to abolish these permanently. It is hard living with those four just corroding me away on a daily basis. I have the strength and raw motivations to take care of these once and for all. A great feeling that has been inspiring me lately

This weekend has been really rough, yet uplifting. One girl flaked out on me. People flaking out at the very last minute is so disrespectful. She will have to earn my attention back. I no longer have the time, nor patients to mess around with people like that. The other... wow, such a great night. I had a hard time not smiling around her. The only odd thing is, she is one of the most talkative people to ever live, but she is almost anti-social when it comes to texting.

I am in progress of completely reassessing my life. I am learning so much more about myself. I feel like I have more control over my life doing this.

I started watching this TV show on Netflix called Heroes. I think I am slightly addicted. The show is so complex. All of these characters are interconnected in ways they cannot even fathom. And all the special powers and digital effects blows my mind.

-Jeff out

[Jeff]

This has been an interesting ride. The highs brought me great satisfactions, while the lows gave me direction. I am a day away from being a high school grad on the brink of summer! The past two weeks have been deep, thought provoking reflection. I feel like I have lost my way of the mainstream path, and opening the door of the unknown.

My biggest issue in life is feeling inferior. Oh if I buy this, I will finally be on a level playing ground. I never want to reveal weakness or open up to anyone. Not even my best friends, girl friends, nor my parents. The last time I genuinely opened up to anyone was four years ago. Minimum. I put up this massive, impenetrable wall that few can break though. Or get away from the person before they have the chance. I am a self-suppressing extrovert at the moment. Around good friends, I am the life of the party. Around strangers, call me a ghost. This is my top priority for the next few weeks. I plan on tearing down all these walls I built in the past. My plan is use soothing music and mirror affirmations. If any of you have ideas or tips that have worked in the past, feel free to chime in.

I need to reconnect with nature, stat. Too much computer, TV, and video games is making me wanting to rip my hair out. Even writing this now. But I am taking two vacations soon. One canoeing trip and a week in Key West! I am excited to leave the MidWest. I believe and celebrate one season, summer. Winter, Fall, and Spring are great, but only on my terms. Time to go from glowing white to a sexy tan hahah I am going to take full advantage of this summer. I am going to make staying inside foreign. I am considering buying a Hammock and sleeping outside. Put my tunes under a tarp. Presto.

I have big plans ahead. One of which I call Jeff's Comfort Zone Challenge. I'll list a few:
-Learn to skateboard
-Ride a horse
-Do a front and backflip (one of my biggest fears)
-Sky dive [most ecstatic to try! ]
-Zip line into a pool
Just to list a few.

Getting a job to fund all these activities is part one, I'll keep this thread posted when I do.

[Jeff]

Just ordered P90X. I am in decent shape, but running 2-5 miles and doing push-ups is getting very repetitive. I enjoy working out, but I like to try new things on a continually basis. I went tanning for the first time last week. I am very white. That had to change. I am gradually getting darker. I feel sexier.

I am not sure why I am still writing in this journal to be honest. Most of this has been covered by others in a higher grade. I am still breaking away from my shell. Sad. I should be so much better off, yet I have wasted too much time already. I am working on some plans

Plans:
-Get a job
-More research on scuba AND personal trainer colleges
-Approach people
-Make a conscious effort to give/get phone numbers
-Make the first move on a woman a lot sooner
-Pick up a few hobbies
-Figure out which city to move to (Florida, California, or Hawaii)
**Spring to Summer I plan on being a Scuba instructor and for the Fall and Winter a personal trainer