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+--- Thread: subs for accidental gays (/Thread-subs-for-accidental-gays)
subs for accidental gays - substance2016 - 05-03-2016
there are some people - males primarily - who fall into the category of accidental gays - which means though they are not gay in their preference- they tend to have some gay experiences when they are kids - mostly because of their interaction in childhoods through abuse or even possibly some kind of a naughty curiosity where they end up playing feelies with other male kids - and have a residue of gay behavior in them when they grow up though they are primarily attracted to girls - this gayness in emotional disposition leads to guilt and insecurity while interacting with girls and tends to make males more secure among males - even if their sexual preferences as adults are towards the opposite gender.
could there be a sub that addresses this issue and helps them REJECT their gayness and reclaim their default heterosexual roots.
RE: subs for accidental gays - Breeze - 05-03-2016
If you try to reject it, it'll lead you nowhere but towards frustration. Think of it like a web, the harder your attempts to untangle yourself are, the deeper you'll bind yourself. Therefore, the best route is to clear all the guilt, shame and pamper yourself with some emotional healing.
One of two things might happen if you do so, you'll find that you are not attracted to males anymore in any way, and enjoying your life guilt free with women. Or, you might still be attracted to guys, but you wouldn't want to reject it since it woudnt be that big a deal once you clear and heal yourself. And enjoy your life with women without any guilt and insecurity.
Therefore, If I was you, I'd go for E2.
RE: subs for accidental gays - JackOfHearts - 05-03-2016
E2, AM6 and SM3, especially SM3 since I'm doing it I have little concern for males and gays. Especially gay guys, they are boring to death.
SM3 have a statement which says something like project a strong aura of hetero sexuality while rejecting the advance from males. Read the product description, it's in there.
You would be probably better if you do E2 I think your problem is linked to fear and guilt or shame more than anything. Being bisexual shouldn't be a problem or if you had homosexual experience. I had one when I was a very little kid by the way and I never thought it was relevant.
RE: subs for accidental gays - substance2016 - 05-03-2016
(05-03-2016, 10:28 PM)LeonidasXVI Wrote: If you try to reject it, it'll lead you nowhere but towards frustration. Think of it like a web, the harder your attempts to untangle yourself are, the deeper you'll bind yourself. Therefore, the best route is to clear all the guilt, shame and pamper yourself with some emotional healing.
One of two things might happen if you do so, you'll find that you are not attracted to males anymore in any way, and enjoying your life guilt free with women. Or, you might still be attracted to guys, but you wouldn't want to reject it since it woudnt be that big a deal once you clear and heal yourself. And enjoy your life with women without any guilt and insecurity.
Therefore, If I was you, I'd go for E2.
btw, i am not attracted to males - i feel repelled on the other hand - it is just the guilt of childhood and the discomfort that makes you feel even guilty to be normal friends with males without feeling either a little repelled or emotionally unassertive or emotionally submissive appearing - lack of asssertive behavior after being abused i guess - and on the other hand unable to approach girls -
that is not me in the description entirely. yet it is a common phenomenon, though people rarely speak about it.
i guess other subs address guilt - but not sure it includes these specific things -
this was just a suggestion that applies to a lot of people - not just me - things done in childhood confuses during adolscence and later in life - and a lot of people may be having such symptoms
RE: subs for accidental gays - Shannon - 05-23-2016
(05-03-2016, 09:17 PM)substance2016 Wrote: there are some people - males primarily - who fall into the category of accidental gays - which means though they are not gay in their preference- they tend to have some gay experiences when they are kids - mostly because of their interaction in childhoods through abuse or even possibly some kind of a naughty curiosity where they end up playing feelies with other male kids - and have a residue of gay behavior in them when they grow up though they are primarily attracted to girls - this gayness in emotional disposition leads to guilt and insecurity while interacting with girls and tends to make males more secure among males - even if their sexual preferences as adults are towards the opposite gender.
could there be a sub that addresses this issue and helps them REJECT their gayness and reclaim their default heterosexual roots.
From what I have seen, experienced and learned through various means and channels of research and questioning, I believe you have a bit of a misunderstanding about what it is to be gay or straight.
We are not binary creatures, but we exist instead on a ranged scale from all of one extreme to all of the opposite. The issue you have is not the presence or lack of gayness, but the guilt, shame and fear resulting from your choices and actions as a child, and your present state of homo/heterosexual balance.
In other words, you've accepted the lie that you are not good as you are, and that you must feel bad for and change what and who you are to suit the teachings, opinions or beliefs of someone or something else. I firmly believe that there is no such thing as "accidental gay"; but there is such a thing as suffering from induced guilt, shame, fear and self loathing over things that happened in the past and one's current state of being, which is very common for people who are susceptible to those emotions.
If you are 90% hetero and 10% gay (for the sake of argument, not saying you are) then what is the better solution? Trying to deny and change what and who you are naturally, or trying to get rid of the faulty thinking, beliefs and resulting guilt, shame, fear and self loathing that is caused by it?
I am firmly of the opinion that the answer is the latter. I therefore invite you to use EHPRA 2.0.