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+--- Thread: Metamorphosis: AM6 (...) « DAOS (32 da) + LGOPR (9 da) (/Thread-Metamorphosis-AM6-%C2%AB-DAOS-32-da-LGOPR-9-da)
AM6 Stage 1 | Day 23 | 129 hr 30 min - alden - 01-24-2016
I'm able to remember parts of my previous night's dream this morning.
There was this young teenager who was acting bitch-like inside the bus. She kinda looks like and acts like the girl in the movie Lolita, but smaller and probably younger. She sat beside me in a way that her bare legs crosses over my own legs. Her female teacher noticed that and told the girl to move seat, but the girl ignored her. Instead of reprimanding her, the teacher then pulled my legs toward the girl and carelessly said something like, "Then mister, let your knee touch on her pussy (so she learns her lesson)!" I gestured to the teacher not to hint anything like that, like a hypocrite moralist 'cause I find the Lolita attractive. After saying that, I smelled the distinctive scent of a pussy that has not been washed for days, yeah, in my dream. I woke up.
It's queer that in the past few days when I was sad and anxious, I often wake up feeling so horny I had to fap, even though I could not remember what my dreams were. But this time, I woke up and though I know that automatically tweaking some parts of such hebephilic scene could get me horny, I chose not to do that. Instead, I logged the thought in my app and I did not fap. My technique hasn't failed me up to this point--watch your thoughts and the lusts dissolve.
Now, speaking of hebephilic scenes, I'll set the record straight, I do find some young teenagers attractive but I don't take the attraction seriously. I still prefer women with mature outlook and tastes. However, the 3 women I fell madly in love with in the past decade were 18- and 22-year old Lolitas, that is, they look very young for their age. In fact, when we were hanging out, a lot of people mistaken them for young teenagers. Yes, they have sexy shapes but they have the facial features of young teenagers and they're just 5 feet or less, which often makes them insecure with other women (for reasons I don't actually understand).
I once went sarging inside a mall with a 25 year old 6 feet tall guy who loves tall women. He noticed though that I kept approaching small smooth-faced women. (Note that I am one or two feet below the average height of males in this country.) He didn't like what I was doing. He's looking at me as if he just met that kind of guy they send to court rooms. So I had to show him photos of some women I dated in the past, and he saw that they were all small and young-looking but they're not young.
I found out later that he does not have the senses to distinguish between a petite pretty woman and a young teenager. For him, all women who fall below 5 feet are not of legal age. I got so pissed off I told him to approach a short woman, who obviously isn't young, but until he did that he kept saying, "I won't game that young girl." It turned out the short woman was already married and has children.
RE: Metamorphosis: DAOS (32 da) + LGOPR (9 da) » AM6 (...) - wolverine_i_am - 01-24-2016
Attraction isn't a choice. I don't think it's an issue at all to be attracted to teenagers, because it had always been normal throughout history for older men to marry them. Plus there's a huge difference between just admiring them and constantly pursuing them. I am attracted to teens myself, but I make sure all the girls I approach are at least 18. Sometimes I do make the occasional mistake though, LOL. But yeah, a huge percentage of the girls I date are in the 18-22 range.
With baby faced women, most of the times it's pretty obvious if they are over-age or not. He must be pretty bad at judging if he's not able to distinguish that. And it's so important to have a wing man to boost each other's morale with. He clearly isn't a good one.
AM6 Stage 1 | Day 24 | 147 hr - alden - 01-26-2016
I'm still reporting to work to accomplish the 30 days notice before my resignation's effective date. I went there very late. Whereas before, I was reporting to work wearing contacts, I've been leaving my eyes bare these days--so if ever I see that oneitis, I won't be able to catch her charm for that often leaves me attached and emotionally vulnerable.
It's quite hard not to think about her. My romantic failure with her was the most obvious push that led me to actively pursue PUA and meet my current friends (I didn't have cool buddies before), which then led me to this path of self-development and subliminals. As I tried to connect the dots, I realized that it's not solely my failure with her that led to these changes. Many things had happened prior to that. I also realized that even if I succeeded with her, I still would have to study PUA and take the self-development path because the needy pussy me that time could not have handled such relationship well.
Her rejection of me broke my nerdy belief that I am that guy proudly superior to all those other guys--those fools and bums. I thought if a non elite woman would just come to know me and my unique character, she'd never dare reject me. I couldn't believe that my intellect, drive to succeed, independence, relative wealth, wits, kindness, handsome face, admiration from others, and my capacity to listen to/understand her were not seen by that woman as so attractive she'd have to forget the bums chasing her. (She fell in love with a jerk who promised her marriage. I remember how that made her so happy she'd tell me she prayed long for it. But after some nights spent with her inside her room, the jerk left her, and I was her crying bag.)
Her name frequently pops up in my Emotions Diary. It's good though that I did not see her today, so that means all these thoughts were just attachment to memories that I really have to let go now.
The boss called me to his office. He's treating me with friendliness and more respect now. He apologized for his reactions towards me in the past. He offered ways how he could help me this time. He thanked me and said I'd contributed a lot to the school. He complimented my performance. He even hugged me. Yeah, he's that kind, WTF! He's been preparing for my quitting since last year. Anyway, I was laser-like focused on my own businesses that time. I might not have switched my attention to loving that pretty woman if only the boss was not so mean to me. So, in some way, his management was also responsible for this self-development journey haha
By late afternoon, another woman, a close of friend of mine, was so curious about the things that are happening to me lately. She's asking many questions, as if she feels that she's not gonna see me again soon. (My resignation is still undisclosed.) Awhile ago, I thought, I hate this woman. She doesn't have empathy for me because though she knows that I was in love with my oneitis, she's the one who's been introducing the girl to suitors. (They are close friends as well.)
This friend of mine is actually the most attractive girl I found here 4 years ago. I convinced her to stay and get a job in the school, because I wanted her. I never made a bold move though, so I got into the friend zone. And whenever she had a problem, she came to me. She had some boyfriends here, while I was silently hurting because of those. When her last guy broke up with her, she turned her attention to me. It felt like she's courting me at that time. But though I had heartaches, I also had business successes, so I felt I was so high value that time that I deserve someone better. I ignored her. Another guy courted her and won her heart. (And that same guy is the friend of the jerk who stole my oneitis. She might not have met and got comfortable with the jerk if not for my friend.)
So, if that's the case then, I think, this female friend of mine also had some part in this self-development journey. We talked about our plans in life for more than an hour. We exchanged advice. That's probably the last chance I'd talk to an attractive woman without thinking about my game. Along with leaving my job and this town, I also decided to leave my female friends. I no longer trust women. On second thought though, I've been a nice guy for such a long time it won't be easy to not have female friends for friendship's sake. Aha! I'd just game the younger women and make friends with the older ones hmmmm
AM6 Stage 1 | Day 25 | 157 hr 30 min - alden - 01-27-2016
I have not mentioned this previously, I've started to use Rewire to track the habits I want to make permanent, namely,
No Fap | No Fantasy (daily)
30 min theta meditation (daily)
Eat fresh green vegetables and fruits (daily)
Take quality multivitamin (daily)
Morning pushups (daily)
Practice vocal tonality (daily)
Mind Power Home Study Program (daily)
Apply sunscreen on face and neck (daily)
AM6 12-16 hrs (daily)
Gym (3x per week)
6 meals a day (daily)
Track money (daily)
Day Game | Chat Game (4x per week)
Improve Facebook avatar (daily)
Subscribe to IPOs | Acquire properties (yearly)
Enjoy a good hearty laugh (daily)
Apply eye cream 2x a day (daily)
Lotion bath (daily)
8 hrs of sleep (daily)
The above mentioned habits are categorised as Money Habits, Game Habits, Happiness Habits, and Skin-Care Habits
There's also this app that reminds me every hour to drink 1,500 ml of water daily.
If I accomplish each of them without fail within a certain period, I give myself a reward, such as a 2 hr massage, a new watch, a new subliminal, enrollment in an interesting course, or anything that can make me joyful.
AM6 Stage 1 | Day 33 | 227 hrs - alden - 02-05-2016
Two weeks to go before I go back to the Game. Some people here does not like PUA, but I believe that's where I must begin. Attracting women is a skill, no different from learning karate or another language. To be good at it, one has to practice. Of course, anyone of us can go out and just approach every women. Personally though, I don't always have that desire to approach women.
For instance, these past few weeks, my mind has been so busy figuring out how to make this post-rural life transition work for me (and doing all the actual work like moving my stuff, fixing my papers, finding a job, etc.). I'm often tired and has no desire to interact with beautiful women, even when they come in front of me. But I always think about improving my game.
I went sarging last Sunday with an acquaintance from another province. And we instadated a young 2-set. He did most of the interaction though (including kissing the girls). I just acted as a wingman, a helping hand who has routines to aid him bring the girls from the mall to the park.
After I got home, I read a book of Robert Greene where he narrated the story of how Charles Darwin became a master naturalist from a happy-go-lucky guy who did not seem to have anything to accomplish in life. He narrated how the young Darwin had so much passion in collecting biological specimen that he was thinking about it constantly. He collected thousands of specimen, cataloged them and studied them astutely.
I thought, if I could do that with my game, how can I not improve? If I think about it constantly (which I do now), give it so much passion, practice 4+ hours a day, catalog my approaches and study them astutely, what can I not achieve in 10 years? Charles Darwin did the hard cataloging of data back then when there was still no computer. I can do it more easily, I always have my smart phone in my pocket.
I spent 3 days developing a mobile survey set of 60 questions, which I hope can aid me in tracking and analyzing the results of my game. It now appears like an Android application. So, the next time I go out to sarge (in two weeks), I will just be executing an actual application of the program I created, with questions like "Rate your appearance when you approached the set", "We're you able to use the following vocal tonalities in your interaction?" "Did you smile when you opened them?", "How could you improve your banter next time?", etc. I'm just gonna input my answers easily and then after answering the form, it will create for me a pdf report of my approach to compare with my previous approaches and learn from. It's now version 1.0.7.
I so can't wait to use it... in two weeks
RE: Metamorphosis: AM6 (...) « DAOS (32 da) + LGOPR (9 da) - wolverine_i_am - 02-05-2016
Keep up the good work!
It's good to game with other people. Cause now you've seen how instant dates are pulled off, you're able to do it over and over again.
RE: Metamorphosis: AM6 (...) « DAOS (32 da) + LGOPR (9 da) - alden - 02-05-2016
(02-05-2016, 07:34 AM)AlphaReal Wrote: Good post, let us know how the application works out.
Female attraction is some kind of a program, subliminals are programs, so I thought, why not create an actual computer program to monitor and master the game? After some field-testing, I'll be glad to share it with you AlphaReal
RE: Metamorphosis: AM6 (...) « DAOS (32 da) + LGOPR (9 da) - alden - 02-05-2016
(02-05-2016, 06:54 AM)wolverine_i_am Wrote: Keep up the good work!
It's good to game with other people. Cause now you've seen how instant dates are pulled off, you're able to do it over and over again.
Thanks bro, I realized that it really helps to sarge with people who are positive and open minded. They'll keep encouraging you to do better
AM6 Stage 2 | Day 1 | 310.5 hrs - alden - 02-16-2016
I'm feeling envious of these attractive guys/girls who get tons of likes for each of their narcissistic posts on Facebook. It seems attractiveness comes naturally for them. (This insecure feeling is quite similar to those turbulent times I had in my early teens.)
I keep comparing myself with others--former friends who are now successful and famous, younger guys in the community who date/lay girls often, attractive women, etc. I'm even comparing my current self with my former self--such a fool, had chances to lay girls but he did not 'coz it bugged his conscience. They once looked up to me. How come I now seem like a loser?
Little by little, I'm becoming convinced that I've experienced an entirely different world growing up. My interests were intellectual, academic, practical and unconventional/non-mainstream stuff. While these considered-likeable people merely rant about shallow ideas, with grammar errors, and yet they get all these visceral attention. Maybe, I'm an undiagnosed autistic for being so studious. Beautiful girls don't like to hear rational ideas, and yet that's where I'd built my persona.
Okay, let's turn this negativity around. It seems I'm wanting to attract a larger and warmer positive attention online. That will take enormous amount of networking on my part, but that goal is possible. How will I do that? I'm giving myself 6 months.
RE: Metamorphosis: AM6 (...) « DAOS (32 da) + LGOPR (9 da) - wolverine_i_am - 02-16-2016
Lol you're back.
Don't worry about online. You would wanna focus on real life action.
RE: Metamorphosis: AM6 (...) « DAOS (32 da) + LGOPR (9 da) - alden - 02-16-2016
(02-16-2016, 01:53 PM)wolverine_i_am Wrote: Lol you're back.
Don't worry about online. You would wanna focus on real life action.
I have to brother, part of demonstrating high value to women
AM6 Stage 2 | Day 2 | 320.5 hrs - alden - 02-17-2016
It's a dream of fear and I understand where it's coming from. I became busy with my life after leaving my job. Well in this dream, I did not really leave my job. I probably just took a day off. Members of my family entered politics, and I participated in the campaign. There's a real plot in this story. There's a problem in the family business that might cause an ill reputation to the candidates, so we were fixing that. There's another family who were my friends, but in this election, we are opponents. It's like a melodrama I'm watching on t.v.
Then the screen changed to a scene in my former university. The dream suggests that I went there to relax while my colleagues at work, including my dream girl, went to the biggest mall in the country to have fun. A nerdy effeminate guy named Jonathan (and I don't know where I got his character) saw me near the entrance, greeted me and joined me in my stroll. He's on his last year in the university. When he left me, I found myself overhearing a conversation from some group of students that terrorists bombed some place and it was tragic. I ignored that. Later in my stroll, I saw my sister with some female classmates. She greeted me and joined me in my stroll as well. She said something like she's gonna get something in her locker. So we went to the old building, where the lockers are. On the way to the building, she said something like she's bored in the university, and I suggested why don't she approach and make friends with those students (and I probably was pointing to the actual sets we saw sitting on shaded picnic benches).
So inside the old building, she left me and went to the lockers. When she went back, Jonathan also came out to the scene. I introduced them to each other. I asked Jonathan some fluffy question, and finally he approached my sister for some friendly talk. We strolled the school's main street and went back near the school's entrance. There, we met some guys, who gave us the news: the biggest mall in the country was bombed by terrorists and most it were destroyed. They gave graphic descriptions of the damage. My heart went cold. I remembered my colleagues, especially my dream girl, who went there that day. I became so anxious and frustrated. I woke up from the dream. AM6 Stage 2 was still playing on my ears.
I don't have much comment on this dream. It's just that the fear I felt a while ago was so real, so I had to write it down. Today's my last day reporting to work. It's been a long 5 years. I pray good life for these guys I'm leaving, and for my dream girl, I pray good health, safety, good life and clean honor... that's a lot haha! And for myself, I pray no more fapping thanks
RE: Metamorphosis: AM6 (...) « DAOS (32 da) + LGOPR (9 da) - wolverine_i_am - 02-17-2016
I realised I'm just behind you. I'll be starting stage 2 in a week.
GameTrack 1.0.8 Report Feb 14 (1 of 2) - alden - 02-26-2016
2-SET *******
I've been practicing game quite erratically for the past 5 months, and I have improved very little for several reasons which I don't want to enumerate here. After weeks of rest from the game, I'm going back and I'm putting some order to my practice. My goal in 6 months is to be able to attract 8 of 10 girls who I find attractive. Let's get started!
ENTER A DATE
14/02/16
ENTER LOCATION
Mall ** ****
HOW WAS YOUR AVATAR?
7 of 10
WHICH THEMES WERE YOU ABLE TO PRESENT IN YOUR AVATAR?
Relaxed aura
Comment—Improve it by wearing an accessory next time.
HOW WAS YOUR OPENER?
Real did the opening. It wasn’t a great response. We were about to eject when I noticed that the set smiled and that one of them was my kind of “cute”. I followed up, “Where are you studying?”
Target: Do we look like students? (smiling)
Me: Where are you from?
Comment—I should’ve complimented them before I asked the latter question, sort of, “You look really young and cute, where are you from?”
DID YOU SMILE?
Yes
HOW WAS YOUR BODY LANGUAGE WHEN YOU OPENED THE SET?
Over the shoulder
DID YOU THROW AN FTC AS SOON AS YOU OPENED THE SET?
No. I actually followed them, then I went in front and perpendicular to them, gestured halt and said, “Stop!’
Comment—Bad move! You should’ve kept your position over the shoulder and plowed normal conversation.
DID YOU ACKNOWLEDGE OR PAY RESPECT TO THE OBSTACLE/S?
Yes. It was the UG friend beside her.
HOW WAS THE INTERACTION WITH THE OBSTACLE/S?
Not that much.
Me: Where are you from?
Obstacle: ******
Me: Wow, you are *******. I love ******, actually we're planning to go there.
HOW WAS YOUR LOCK IN?
No lock in. Real gestured to me that the set is with the couple walking in front of us. So, I told the obstacle with a tap on her shoulder, “So, you're with them, bye…” Then, we ejected the set while laughing cos we thought that was fun.
Comment—I shouldn’t have stopped gaming them for that lousy reason. Mimic Herbert’s don’t give a fuck attitude. I think, part of my weakness is I have not yet embraced my PUA persona. I’m doing the game underground, which means I’m hiding this activity from many people who have known me for a long time. I’m uncomfortable with the idea of them judging me. I also noticed that I often feel unease when I see again the set we’ve just approached. I’m doing the game halfheartedly so I get half-baked results. Keep going!
ACCUMULATED HOURS OF MONITORED GAME
1 hr 5 minutes