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+--- Thread: AsIGotHitByACar's EPRHA experience (/Thread-AsIGotHitByACar-s-EPRHA-experience)
AsIGotHitByACar's EPRHA experience - AsIGotHitByACar - 10-14-2015
This was my introduction thread from a few weeks ago.
http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5967.html
I switched to EPRHA after about a week of ASC on 21 September. I was getting pretty frustrated with my medium Sleephones just never staying on and I switched them to smaller ones, which have worked out much better, though sometimes I still manage to knock them off in my sleep sometimes.
I've been asked by specialists many times to "watch my thoughts" and "write down my thoughts" over the years. I have to confess I have always felt very reluctant to do so, for some reason. I don't know why, I just don't enjoy the idea of even entertaining this. It feels like I have so much going on in my head but I would either never stop writing, or I would just be writing the same old record of mental garbage constantly. I don't know if that makes sense. I have decided to at least attempt a journal thread as I really appreciated the input and feedback from others in my introduction thread, despite the fact I hadn't revealed too much.
The last week or so I have continued to sleep with the masked subliminal on and when I can, to play the Ultrasonic sub, so I've been going for nearly a month. I'm writing all this down to day because I am concerned I am going to get disheartened soon. I'm really yet to feel any effects. I have noticed my dreams have become more vivid - initially they were more pleasurable versions of the regular dreams I have. Although since then, an estranged friend has shown up in a couple of dreams, someone who I no longer believe I want to have in my life. The thing is - she's shown up in my dreams prior to me starting EPRHA. I also had a distressing dream about being in my grandmother's old house and realising that she was dead (in reality, she's actually still alive, albeit with Alzheimer's disease at 84 years old). I've observed that in the past that I have more vivid dreams when light is coming through, or there is some kind of background noise to sleep though. Can I be sure that the vivid dreams is actually coming from the sub, or just the simple fact I have recordings of waves playing in my ear?
I'm not sure if it's still way too early for me to feeling down about not feeling more dramatic or obvious effects from the sub. I want to keep believing, or I understand it won't be possible for the subs to even work. Perhaps I was wrong but I got the impression that EPRHA would be likely to put me on some kind of emotional rollercoaster, which needless to say hasn't happened. I'm really feeling no different. For reasons outside of undertaking this sub, the present day is a challenging one for me - I've been suffering from depression for months over rejection with a woman I had an online 'relationship' with after a fling on a holiday trip last year, which didn't work out too well when we met up again (I've taken it harder than my last actual breakup rejection, for what it's worth), I'm struggling with confidence at my new job and I'm due in court next week over the incident that took place when I was intoxicated six months ago. I've had lots of reassurance from my lawyer that the offence is extremely minor, about as low as it gets really, which will at the very worst see me receive a small fine or a warning, but as an anxious person, it still feel absolutely horrible to have to face up to. I'm starting to worry as well about what some of my current friends think of me too. I don't know.
If any of this is making sense to anyone else, I'd be grateful to hear your thoughts.
Thanks.
RE: AsIGotHitByACar's EPRHA experience - AsIGotHitByACar - 10-17-2015
Does anyone who's had time read this have any thoughts so far? Just missed two nights of sublims and feeling pretty stupid for that.
RE: AsIGotHitByACar's EPRHA experience - eternity - 10-17-2015
i could swear i've replied to this already....
but what i thought i said was "it gets worse before it gets better" has always been my experience with everything in life that's related to growth...