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+--- Thread: The Journey of the Alpha (/Thread-The-Journey-of-the-Alpha)
RE: The Journey of the Alpha second run - Alpha Male mo - 07-01-2015
So I finished stage 1 and what I noticed is the program is working even better since I have a run of Am6. Everything seems to be solidifying. One thing I noticed is I'm not as shaken as I was when I ran Am6 but I do get some bad dreams. Still that beats my first run where every listen from the start depressed me severely . Although the second run is pushing me down again. I can feel a lot of my insecurities popping out , especially in public. But I'm way better than I was in my first run. Also I have a fck buddy and we havent even done it, I don't feel in a rush to fck women but I just let it happen though I do control the situation. There's still things that make me tick like societal issues. I hate ppl who put ppl down because their situations suck so they must take it out on others. I absoloutly have no patients for such people in my everyday life. The problem is I encounter people like this because of my job, my boss is one of them but he's less severe. Also I've noticed how dependent I've been on others especially parents and that's made me miserable in life because I've been living according to their standards. I'm slowly breaking away and becoming my own man. Anyways I can't wait to see what stage 2 brings .
RE: The Journey of the Alpha - Alpha Male mo - 07-10-2015
So I was going to wait until the end of stage 2 but I decided to do a report now. Stage 2 now is bringing a lot of insecurities out, not more than the first run but its definetly hindering me. For ex. I get more nervous and conscience when around attractive women. Again the intensity isn't that much but its enough to hinder my confidence. Anyways I don't seem to care about sex, I have the confidence that I can get it anytime so its no big deal . So I'm talking Tina girl online that wants but the only problem is, most girls who you meet online that want to FCK usually aren't so sexual in person. This may be my biggest insecurity. Anyways I'll keep you updated best as I could but I don't seem to have interest writing journals. lol
RE: The Journey of the Alpha - Alpha Male mo - 09-10-2015
So its been a long time since I came on here. I'm still Running Am6 and I'm on my second run. At this point I've been more confident than the last run, I'm more centered emotionally. But there are some times when I feel shaken like I've lost balance. I'm still trying to push through the left over anxiety still left but this is the small crucial anxiety that doesn't feel like its going to go away. I also don't feel like I've integrated the sub completely because sometimes I get weird reactions from people. For ex. I was in my college class and when I sat down this girl sat next to me. The girl was not at all attractive but I couldn't tell at that moment because I never looked at her. So after like 45 minutes into the class I could feel like this girl might be interested in me. So I kinda got in my head trying to understand why she liked me, deep inside I got anxious and uncomfortable but I don't think she could tell. Few mins after she was covering her legs shaking like she had to pee. She also had on a dress so she covered her knees completely. So one min she had her feet pointed at me then she was closed off. The worst part was as soon as I walked outside to get a drink of water, she moved behind me, sitting behind me so I couldn't see her. Maybe its just in my head but in my other classes I've had girls run up to talk to me, one tried to make me think dirty lol.So I'm kinda out of balance, trying to find a median
RE: The Journey of the Alpha - dissonance - 09-16-2015
I read somewhere that Shannon said it's better to alternate AM-Magnet-AM-Magnet.
RE: The Journey of the Alpha - Alpha Male mo - 10-09-2015
So it's been a while since I wrote a journal, I've been busy do I just wanted to catch everyone up. I didn't feel like writing a journal for everything that happened, kinda like the guys who first discover Am6 and write a testimonial on stage 2 of their first run lol. I wanted to see what would happen halfway in between and so far the results don't lie. Running Am6 more than once is definitely recommended. I've been reading some journals from guys who ran Wm and either had little to no effect the majority ran Am once. I've found that my social anxiety is no longer an issue in familiar situations but overall I'm more confident. I'm more assertive and I've actually taken charge of situations when no one decide to. I have some kind of charm, it works for some women but regardless I've had some funny things happen during the 4 months of my second run. First I feel like I'm having a strong affect on my teacher in some way because she never goes a class without teasing me, not sexually because that would be socially unacceptable but in small ways. Second, I've found some girls in my class flirting with me, eying me in my class, positive body language the whole 9 yards. But that's the few I still sometimes come off as nervous to some women and it turns them off. I'm beggining to hate this program more and more because one minute I'm up and blissful then the next I'm down and depressed. I've grown a lot but I still get negative thoughts through out the day that really knock me off my balance. But yesterday was the day that did it for me. I was walking to my class and minding my own business, I saw two hot girls and I just kept walking. I kinda ignored them because I had to get to class on time so they weren't on my mind. So I was walking to class when they got louder, like they wanted to get my attention. So first they started talking about getting into a club and how they have to suck a dick to get in and it got very sexual fast. I could tell that I had an effect on them because I was walking other girls would smile at me...maybe because I had a big grin on my face lol. I only wish I could've started something with them because obviously they were horny, oh well. I can't wait to get back to stage 5 because that's where I saw the most peace. I was smoother in my last run but now I'm so broken in stage 4 that I can't tell when women are eying me to approach them.
Stages 1,2 second run of Am6 I was super confident like I could approach any girl
Stages 3,4. I feel like a social persimist, which is ironic because I got a lot of people socializing with me out of no where and sometimes I just feel like I don't want to talk to anyone. It just sucks, I can't even approach women, it's not because I'm super nervous but I keep getting in my head too much. I keep thinking like what if she thinks I'm this or that? I wonder what she thinks about me?
So overall I'm hating Am6 and I'm planning on running it again but I wish I knew indigo when Am5 was still around. I looked at the Am5 points and there were a lot of things that would definetly push me towards mastery even though if it's harsh. I've found that people who ran Am5 then ran Am6 had better results
RE: The Journey of the Alpha - Dzemoo - 10-09-2015
yeah i am also playing with the thought of runnig am5 again it was an interesting trip
RE: The Journey of the Alpha - Alpha Male mo - 10-10-2015
(10-10-2015, 04:09 PM)templecity Wrote: I realize that AM 6 jolts or shakes my positive and negative energies. This Balancing Act can sometimes be Intense
Good to know I thought I was the only one. It's starting to get on my nerves now lol
RE: The Journey of the Alpha - Alpha Male mo - 10-10-2015
Even though I feel like a mess while on Am6, this run is actually easier on me then my first run. My first run I literally couldn't listen to the audio because I felt overly anxious from the beggining to end but now I don't feel any anxiety while listening but that anxiety manifests itself in public and situations. Sometimes randomly, I could be walking then all of a sudden I feel very shy, anxietal. The weird thing too is I've been very closed off. Then I open up to people. The gap is so big that it kinda throws people off. The girls who I said early that flirted with me can sense this and some are turned off by it. I know this because they give me a cold shoulder. But I know Am6 is just working on something deeper than I realize. I just didn't know how many subconscious blocks I had
RE: The Journey of the Alpha UPDATE! - Alpha Male mo - 10-21-2015
Update: Right now I'm not feeling anything special, I'm on stage 5 day 1 but recently I've found that with guys I'm befriending loyal and honest people. With women, nothing. But I'm more determined, very assertive. I seriously don't take bs where in my first run I was kinda of a wuss. I've actually called out a girl during my college lecture for trying to degrade me. I was shocked because I never do that, I've never called out anyone on the spot in front of all people. So I've got a strong confident alpha male aura but sometimes it's off balance . On certain days I have too much and I put off women then the next day I have little and I feel like I'm not in control. I've found that people can sense my presence even if I'm not visible to them. For ex. I was standing on the other end of a sliding door. The door was closed and never opened and my friend was inside the parking garage walking to his car. There was no way he could hear my footstep since its inaudible in the garage and he had his back to me. As soon as I saw him he turned around and looked back like as if he sensed someone was there. He was surprised to see me.
Stage 5 update:.....Question for Shannon Matterson at the end of my update - Alpha Male mo - 10-30-2015
So I'm on my first week of stage 5 of Am6 and I'm already seeing great results regarding women. This week alone I've had women stare me down for no reason while in class across from the room while I was talking to someone. She was twirling her hair when I caught her gaze then after that another girl, very beautiful looked at me. But not any regular glance but like a "there's something different about you" kinda look. I had another girl look at me sitting right next to me in class. I was just sitting bored in class when she just looked at me for like 9 seconds I kinda ignored it. Then after awhile she looked at me again. I was thinking hmm I must have something in my face. So at the end of the class she stood up, I was still sitting when she did a standing butt display. If you haven't read Shannon's journal on the different butt displays then you're missing out. I don't think I can count how many times I've been checked out by women. I don't usually care to look for looks but sometimes they are just too obvious. But now on this stage when I walk to a venue or a place it feels like everyone's attention gravitates to me. Like today I went to pick up my nephew from school and this woman and her daughter just looked at me and smiled with her daughter, they spotted me out of all the people who outside. I think I've had 2 girls cat call me lol. Overall I'm more relaxed than previous stages but I'm not quite there yet. I'm still struggling to keep a cool head when a pretty girl starts to send me flirting signals. I often get to excited then I overthink it and over do it. I've been very busy with college and I try to write as much as possible.
Anyways I was curious, Shannon I'm trying to decide whether to run one more run of Am6 or start Wm because I've found that I attract women but I can't the attraction going? Also I was thinking of running Wm next but return back to am6 for one last run. Is this okay? Will it slow my progress?
RE: The Journey of the Alpha - Alpha Male mo - 12-10-2015
So it's been too long and I apologize I owe the Am6 community some testimonial but I've been super busy.
Quick update:
I'm on stage 6 with 2 weeks left and I have to say I think this is the stage where everything is coming together. Like usual I did notice looks from women, some obvious and some not. I had a super cute girl look at me then look down and smile like she was super shy. I find my self in a deep zen kinda mode while I'm out and about compared to the previous stages. I can just relax completely which is super awesome because I've always been super anxietal in public.
I'm more motivated and for the first time I'm getting great grades in college it's amazing, I work hard and success is pouring.
I'm more confident, self esteem is high too so pretty much everything on the list of Am6. The only thing I would hold off is the sex part of Am6, I haven't gotten any come ones from women though I may be wrong. When I started stage 2 I had girls flirting with me, one gave me a butt display and I almost bumped into her while I was moving because she just bent down so quickly.
I faced a little resistance but that resistance made me edgy in public so I lost a lot of attraction. I'm more assertive but not all the time. It's been a long journey and I'm hoping to finish strong so I can move on to something different.
The only thing that keeps coming up is whether my efforts were enough to give me the best results. I didn't listen to any brainwaves, only Am6 alone with no tapping eft etc., I used sleep phones because I don't live alone so I can't play the ultrasonic. I used sleephones at night and they were great because they never fall off and even if they slide half way down I can still hear the sound from both ears. Has anyone used sleephones tell me if it worked for you too?
For my next sub I plan on getting the Bluetooth version of sleephones with no wires. I no Shannon said headphones were ok as long as they don't fall out, strangle you during sleep or something about volume. Can someone review this ?
Also if you're reading this how would you rate my progress with Am6? I'm looking for a non bias opinion because I still feel the same like nothing has changed? Other people seem to tell me different like my boss asked me there's something different and he has known me for years but I'm like no not really lol.
RE: The Journey of the Alpha - Alpha Male mo - 12-10-2015
Looking back I realized how much I've grown.
Socially: I'm more comfortable than my last run when talking with everyone
I'm more relaxed socially and have a social presence.
I still get uncomfortable but only few times. I have great friends now which awesome since I didn't have them during my last run
I'm more extrovert than I used to be since the past 3 yrs and I've been an extreme introvert
Cons: I'm less social when I don't get interest from a girl
I'm sometimes closed off and keep to myself. I'm very hard on myself and won't settle for average. If I'm walking out alone in a crowd I feel insecure like everyone is looking at me like I'm the shit but I don't feel like I am.
Women:
I do get looks from women, sometimes they flirt with me, like the other day I had a girl say explicitly during a sexual conversation with my friends that I'm probably good with my toungue too lol. It was kinda random too because my other friend was the one that started the sexual conversation, I was just there laughing at all the immature friends I had and they could tell. Then the girl just said and I was like hmm I must be having an effect on her.
Cons: I'm to hard on myself to realize that women are attracted to me. Small things that they do. I'm also kinda cold with girls too and that's been my one weekness. Like I had a cute girl ask me for my jacket but I was such an asshole because I was cold and had my friend give her hers. I felt so stupid, like wtf I was thinking. After reading the John Alexander book, especially the part on how couples act and how you can implement that when meeting a new girl. I saw it in real time, this cute girl was in my class and every time she would talk to me. Come close to me in stages 3 and 4. She would always flirt with me and because of that I'd get 4 other girls trying to flirt with me but I screwed up big time. My professor who's a woman was also flirting with me but all it took was one action to show that I wasn't used to attracting women. There were so many opportunities for me to advance with a lot of girls but I didn't because I wasn't sure how to go about it and I had fear of what if. But I'm not going to sit and complain. I'm going to run Wm 2.0, get the right knowledge to attract women and be a whole man.
I know I have still a long way to go and I plan to use Wm am Wm then SM to cap it all of. I'm not giving up and will never will. Ever since running Am I've taken the challenge with everything in life.
I have 2 weeks left in am6 next up Wm
RE: The Journey of the Alpha - Alpha Male mo - 12-15-2015
So finals are almost over so I've had time to think and write about what's happened so far in my Am6 journey....
I've made some great loyal friends which is hard for me in the beggining. The only set back is there sometimes when I'm in social situation I feel everything I do is kinda awkward. I'm more comfortable in social situations, sometimes I'm uneasy but after awhile I get comfortable. Before Am I was so uneasy in public with anxiety crawling up my ass.
Approaching women is still an issue because it seems like a big mountain to get over. I've also had weird strange dreams lately. Some very weird that I can't explain and others were great. the weird dream started when tons of ugly girls chasing that I didn't like, like aggressively chasing me to have sex with me. Then after I'm caught I get chained up but in some way I get out of the chains and take off and go back home. I go around asking people how to get to city, then I end up meeting a guy who's in the military and he tries to get me to buy him a ticket using a canned salesperson line. Then he just walks off and his friend asks me " did you actually think he was serious"? I end up meeting a friend, a random friend who I tell everything that happened.
The way I interpreted the dream is when I was young I was always taken advantage by guys who were bigger, higher status then me. I've always found myself getting pursued by women that were ugly physically and personality wise. I think that's why I've felt something weird in me during social situations that I haven't felt before Am6, I've found it hard to trust people which leads to closeness, which leads to introvertness, which leads to shyness, which leads to awkward moments with women. Also when I went out in public if get nervous because when I was young I used to get teased a lot and subconsciously I paired being in big social situations with something bad. But with Am6 I'm slowing taking my power back. I didn't stand up for myself back then but now...whoo I'm considered an asshole because I've called out people for trying to put me down. Though I wish I could tone it down, I've been a solid man regardless. Also I have no urgency to have sex anymore, I know a couple guys here were talking about running Am6 till the urge to have sex was on so here I am. It seriously scares me sometimes cause the urge is not there anymore. I feel like I could run Am6 one more time lol.
RE: The Journey of the Alpha - Alpha Male mo - 12-16-2015
I started out with 12 hrs for stages 1,2 and 3 then when I got more free time I increased that number to 14-16hrs like around stage 4,5,6