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Alpha's don't talk about being Alpha - Andrew - 03-17-2012
I want to talk to all of you (men and women) about something that I don't think gets said enough. The simple truth: Alpha's never talk about being Alpha. There is no exception to this rule, if it's not truly lived it has yet to happen. If like me you used to not understand this, your journey has just begun and that's okay.
I'm sharing this because along my journey a handful of years ago, if someone had told me this and I had sought to truly understand it and then put it in to effect, it would have made my transition much less painful and quicker. When I first started on this journey I knew where I started. I had a few alpha characteristics here and there, but I definitely knew where I was even if I didn't want to admit it to myself. Why else would I even have started the journey? That was okay though, I didn't bother to dwell on it too much because I had to focus on where I wanted to be. But I suppose that's the whole challenge, "becoming" that person. The first thing I did, and I think an error that everyone does at the beginning, was to start telling and showing everyone how alpha I was. Either through my own ideas of what alpha was, or emulating others. After all, how could I become an alpha unless I convinced everyone I was and henceforth started treating me as one? Well, this couldn't have been further from the truth. The only thing I showed everyone was how insecure I was. Burned a few people, went on an emotional roller coaster, and clenched my fists in anger from all the people that were disrespecting me when I was clearly showing them how alpha I was. If only I had found out, and truly absorbed the fact that "Alpha's don't talk about Alpha" I could have saved myself so much frustration. TV, pickup artist gurus, and the cliques from past public school all had me convinced that faux alpha must be the real alpha. I had to be someone I really wasn't, and the faster I changed who I was to fit in with all the macho faux alphas the better. Thankfully, I had Shannon's Alpha set to help me along, and I began to ignore all the faulty messages the PUA community, media, and misled people told me. The more I picked up little tidbits and read literature about what true alpha really was the more I found what alpha really was. I found that true Alpha is distinctly a human trait. There is no animal or creature on this earth that is true Alpha besides a select few humans. It can only be found outside of humans in myth. For example, faux alphas emulate Bulls. Charging in loud, furiously, and with little foresight. Fittingly, several times a day, they let out bull****. True alpha can only be imagined. Some see this as a wise gorilla like Ishmael. For some it is the mythical protecting and reverent lion king. For me it is what I imagine the dragon to be-but all these avatar and manifestations of alpha have the same qualities. They all possess strength, wisdom, foresight, and patience. They have all achieved near self-mastery, and have the humility to admit where and when they have not. I keep my avatar on this forum as a dragon to remind myself of these ideals.
When I finally realized these truths, I knew the solution to go from "becoming" to "being" Alpha, was to simply shut my mouth and listen to myself. Quiet all the chatter, clean the filth off my mind and mouth that was always trying to convince myself and everyone else how alpha I was. Because, after all, I had nothing to prove, all I needed to do was observe and act with precision rather than speed and volume. A true act of quality over quantity. At first this was very slow, stopping myself from my normal actions... but as I listened to my body, unhelpful brain messages and impulses, this correction process became faster and faster. As I arrived at my destination, it was not a celebration. Rather a liberating and happy calm as I became one with myself. I all but smiled at the hybrid of what I used to be, wanted to be, and thought others wanted me to be. The progenitor version of me was all but gone. The noise in my head and life's abrasiveness finally subsided and I discovered freedom. I found beauty, for in true alpha, there is no masculine or feminine. There is no more awkwardness, no hesitation, no twitchy nervousness.
I realized being Alpha is not about being ultra-masculine or ultra-feminine rather the best way to describe it is a quiet-ultra-confidence. There is only you. It is becoming one with who you are, and becoming comfortable and unashamed of who you are. When others sense true alpha, some will test you out of jealousy they can't describe, because they are unable to hurt you with words. But most simply stop bothering you, make way, or get in behind you. Welcome to the club. And the first rule of Alpha club, to quote Shannon: "Don't talk about Alpha club"
Leave it to those who teach Alpha and give thanks to those who have taught you.To those of you still on your journey, my advice to you comes from the one and only Yoda: "Do or Do not. There is no try." In order to Be alpha you must stop telling or showing the world you are Alpha. Because after all, Alpha's don't talk about being Alpha. And the first step to becoming one, is to shut up, stop listening to others, and begin loving yourself.
RE: Alpha's don't talk about being Alpha - Ryan - 03-17-2012
Very true. I remember back when I was doing affirmations, I was trying to prove such a thing. And many times I got told "You look like you own the world" or "You come off as a total tool". There was one point I went out to a dinner with friends and I nagged every girl there just because I felt so cool. I was trying to show off my superiority. Many times, I'd tell my friends to come like they were supposed to follow me around.
On Alpha Male though, I suppose after these experiences I learned how to be more laid-back and just do my own thing and know everything would work out regardless. So I didn't so much experience that kind of stuff during the set.
In SM though, I experienced a lot of that with the manipulation of women. I would constantly nag photos on Facebook of women like "Seriously, mirror pics? Are you seriously 14? Do you have low insecurity and need these guys for an ego boost?" It just made me look stupid many times I posted. I was constantly bickering and trying to put a lot of women down just to show them I understood them and wasn't going to take their shit. But now, I just ignore it. I don't need to show or try to prove it, I know that I won't take their shit so if they try it, I just forget them.
Ryan
RE: Alpha's don't talk about being Alpha - Shannon - 03-17-2012
Low insecurity seems like a good thing to me.
RE: Alpha's don't talk about being Alpha - massagemaggie - 03-18-2012
Great post Andrew, thanks.
RE: Alpha's don't talk about being Alpha - Spiral - 03-18-2012
I love this post Andrew. During stage 6 of alpha I began understand it.. but thanks to SM I only started to realize it. Now nearing the start of stage 2 on alpha 2011 I couldn't be in a better place. It's all very fine.
RE: Alpha's don't talk about being Alpha - HMoody - 04-17-2012
Great Post. I think it really explains the difference between "Being Alpha" and "Acting Alpha". Favorite Star Wars Quote. This is why Yoda is the best! What a line!
That does make me wonder though..Not talking about being alpha is what happens when you've already reached that state. When you know that you've reached. Sometimes as people we talk about it to reach the state. Using our words to push ourselves to get there as way to raise our level of performance/mindset.
RE: Alpha's don't talk about being Alpha - Andrew - 04-20-2012
(04-17-2012, 02:56 AM)HMoody Wrote: Not talking about being alpha is what happens when you've already reached that state. When you know that you've reached. Sometimes as people we talk about it to reach the state. Using our words to push ourselves to get there as way to raise our level of performance/mindset.
Of course tools to push yourself are very useful
I had lots of little phrases that helped me over-write the old patterns when they came up. Things like when I got angry or insecure I would imagine myself looking down at the whole situation and people (not in a superiority way, hard to explain what I mean) and just telling myself "You're above this, this is not personal, focus towards your ultimate goal". I still use that sometimes if I find myself getting more angry or nervous than I'm comfortable with, although those situations are pretty rare these days! I whole-heartedly agree that discussion about alpha is a whole different thing, but I wanted to keep my message pretty straight to the point. But yeah, without acknowledging "discussion" of alpha being entirely different, it looks a bit contradictory as alignment pointed out RE: Alpha's don't talk about being Alpha - ncbeareatingman - 07-15-2012
I dont entirely agree Andrew to me its not ALL one way or the other, as far as being it what ever it is I fully agree with but to me its NOT an absolute,either. I DO Mention that IM an Alpha sometimes but most of the time I Live it,here on the forum since I dont SEE any of you or vice versa,I state my case but thats true about a lotta thing,here or out in life,depending. I respect yer position and yer stace,as well but I differ some with you on that point.
People have a great sex life usually don't talk about it a whole lot,but its OK if once in awhile they do,for them it depends on whats being put in front of them inthe context of WHY they would respond and/or bring it up in the first place,but yes mostly they 'live it' rather than talk on it a lot. Keith