(08-13-2025, 11:43 PM)Just Saiyan Wrote: E7 Experimental Silent track journal.

I just completed 6 months on OSC. That run was very difficult, with many emotionally intense experiences. It did help me to release painful emotions noticeably better than previous subliminals, and better than most other types of healing work I have done. The emotional releases weren’t easy though. They required me to cry, shake, scream etc to get the emotions out of my body. It also doesn’t feel like any particular emotional issue fully release or healed during that 6 months. It showed me some of the big issues that need healing still. One of them is an old heartbreak that I haven’t got over many years later. It seems to me that one of the reasons I haven’t gotten over it, or been able to heal many other things or make the progress I want in my life, is an energetic issue. It feels like a blockage in my head and spine. It affects every area of my life. In some ways it could be described as feeling like my crown chakra is only partly open and energy can’t release and it backs up in my head and spine.

A couple of days after stopping OSC, I experienced something related to the old heartbreak that brought up major feelings of regret, grief, sadness, longing etc. I started E7 earlier than I expected to with only a couple days break. The first listen, I could feel energy movements and there was one brief moment that felt like the energy floodgates opened just for an instant then stopped again. I have felt this feeling of getting energy to flow in other healing modalities before, and it has always been  temporary. The 2 off days I went through constant negative thinking. I was thinking things like “what’s wrong with me, why am I like this? I don’t know if I’m going to get through this.” And all kinds of calling myself stupid, retarded, loser, weak etc. after a while of this I was trying to catch myself in the negative thoughts, and although I wasn’t able to consciously stop feeling that way I was trying to say I forgive myself for being x, instead. I was on the verge of crying a couple of times in those couple days. 

The second run I almost cried while listening. The next 2 days I had similar negative thinking and it felt like it was ratcheted up to a fever pitch. I listen to the loop at night so there’s almost a full 3rd off day before I listen. That whole day leading up to the 3rd listen I didn’t feel too bad at all. The negative thoughts were way less. Not good, just not too bad.

Then today, the first off day of the third cycle, the negative thoughts are back but not as intense as before. When I think them, I try to catch myself and say “I can get through this.”