(08-18-2024, 09:30 AM)Antaeus Wrote: Had coffee alone after Mass today. Have been feeling a lot less inclined to seek out others from my young adult group as of late. One of them actually called me yesterday asking where I’ve been. Don’t know if I’m isolating myself or if I’m just becoming less needy. I hope I’m not becoming antisocial.

I didn’t even seek out the person I’ve been trying to connect with (see last post). As soon as Mass ended I left to go get coffee. And frankly I’m just enjoying my own company.

This is very different compared to about a month or so ago, when my neediness and loneliness was at an all time high. Now I just feel nothing. Not that I’m unemotional. Just sort of content and enjoying my own company.

(08-20-2024, 07:59 AM)Antaeus Wrote: This is not directly related to AOL but rather to AM6 in my most recent run. That program is supposed to help eliminate neediness and insecurity, but instead of that happening my neediness and insecurity were worse than ever, yet it’s only now, on AoL that I’m starting to feel more self content. I’m starting to get the hint that maybe it will be worth another run of AM6 once I’ve run AoL for a while. I could be thinking about this wrong, but I do feel it in my gut that there was a reason AM6 did not work for me that may have nothing to do with the program itself. Perhaps there were other emotional issues that needed to be dealt with first. Things that AoL might be in the process of tackling. These are just my thoughts, I would appreciate some input on this.

(08-29-2024, 03:43 PM)Antaeus Wrote: OK, so while I don’t notice any negative effects as a result. I think I might’ve been Using this sub wrong.

I have been using it at four loops per night. But having read the original product page for Aura of love. It’s saying to only run one loop per day. I believe I might’ve misunderstood the instructions. 

I don’t notice any negative effects like I said. But I’m not sure whether to just continue as normal with the one loop or to take a break.

That being said,

So far, I do not notice any difference in behavior from others, though I think this will take time. I still feel a lot less needy than I did before using this program Which is good.

I have not been thinking all that much about the individual that I’ve been trying to reach out to. I still think about them from time to time, and there is still a desire to build the bridge and connect. But there is definitely just a sort of “just let it be what it is” mentality regarding it. I have no ill feelings toward this person at all. But I could describe my attitude toward the situation before I started using this program as borderline obsessive. So short, the desire to connect is still there, but obsessiveness about the situation has pretty much vanished.

I’ve also been trying to take a lot more interest in getting back to the gym and trying to lose weight and build muscle. I’m also getting back into playing guitar again and I’m also looking into trying to do a cover song on GarageBand as a little personal project.

So there are some good things happening for sure. Not sure if it’s a result of AOL, But either way, I like it.

(08-29-2024, 10:30 PM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: Shannon I wish to God, that you'd Make  Aura of Love in 5.11G.....NEXT. that that'd be your next new sub to build!! I swear that'd be most excellent and awesome too. I Love Love that sub. No pun intended. please consider !! BTW PM loos awesome as well.

Antaeus not trying to hi-jack your journal page at all. Thought this was well worth throwing in the mix!! Respect. Keith.

(08-29-2024, 10:30 PM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: Shannon I wish to God, that you'd Make  Aura of Love in 5.11G.....NEXT. that that'd be your next new sub to build!! I swear that'd be most excellent and awesome too. I Love Love that sub. No pun intended. please consider !! BTW PM loos awesome as well.

Antaeus not trying to hi-jack your journal page at all. Thought this was well worth throwing in the mix!! Respect. Keith.