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+--- Thread: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** (/Thread-Jake-s-Overcoming-Fear-v-3-5-75-7G-Journal)
RE: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** - Jake2015 - 07-26-2021
(07-26-2021, 01:29 PM)Shannon Wrote:(07-26-2021, 01:09 PM)Jake2015 Wrote:(07-26-2021, 12:36 PM)Shannon Wrote: Whole ASRB2 cycles before increasing loops. And remember, we aren't increasing them because it's new and exciting, we are only increasing them if necessary.
Thanks @Shannon. Yeah I just don't know what to look out for but today has been a positive day. Now I have the 2 days off. So will see how I go. If there is fear or any negative feelings ill up it.
Based on today, not feeling as if I even listened to a sub let alone hybrid made me feel increasing it would be a good idea.
When you say you feel like you didn't listen at all, what exactly does that mean?
I mean I felt nothing negative or odd. No tiredness or fatigue nothing. As If I hadn't pressed play even though I had and I checked that the playlist had played through. So no reaction or indication of any reaction.
RE: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** - Shannon - 07-26-2021
Give it time.
RE: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** - Jake2015 - 07-27-2021
Thanks @Shannon
Day 70/180 OFF #1- Tuesday 27 July - Hybrid loop 4 cycle 1
So first off day in my first cycle of hybrid loop 4
1) Couldnt sleep early, was hungry, so work and binged till I don't know what time then went to bed and slept.
2) Woke 11am which seems to be my norm at the moment. Didnt feel anything again as yesterday meaning no turmoil of any kind to reveal anything is happening in the subconscious mind.
3) Surprisingly productive today. Ate breakfast, tidied up my pigstye of an apartment (days of laziness), changed my bedding (sheets, covers etc).
4) Then started studying. Taken me 2hours to watch a 20mins video lecture but it was full of information that I was trying to understand. Now I'm having a break before I test myself for the 4th time on this information and then will stop and have a shower.
5) The only resistance I have felt has been some boredom and fatigue from studying the same info today again and again otherwise I seem to feel normal.
RE: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** - Jake2015 - 07-27-2021
Day 70/180 OFF #1- Tuesday 27 July - Hybrid loop 4 cycle 1 - part 2
6) Still same as before. Over ate and then tested myself on what I got wrong from studying earlier. The desire to study is there. I think the fact that I managed to gamify this and want to get it all done today has helped a great deal.
RE: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** - Jake2015 - 07-28-2021
Day 71/180 OFF #2- Wednesday 28 July - Hybrid loop 4 cycle 1
1) Slept around I dunno 2am and then woke late today around 12-1pm. Now I did take sleep supplements and I'm sure that's the reason based on previous posts and analysis for me struggling to wake. The supps arent kicking in when they are supposed to probably due to my slow late digestion which due to my inconsistent sleep isn't helping but yeah... today besides struggling to wake which are the sleep supps all else was normal.
2) Since waking, I did some study which is part of what I learnt online is a good strategy and its gamified which makes it easier to do without stress really.
So overall besides that nothing else to report. Mood is fine. Hybrid 4 loop doesn't seem significant to me in anyway so I have 2 choices...
a) try hybrid for another full cycle or move to 5 loops.
I will see by the end of today how I feel but at the moment the mind is more on moving to 5 loops.
RE: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** - Shannon - 07-28-2021
You're assuming that you're not experiencing anything again, when this is a very different experience to previously, and that means 4 loops is doing something. Instead of going to 5 loops, next cycle run only 1 loop of hybrid if you choose to change your listening pattern. Don't go to 5. More is not always better.
RE: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** - Jake2015 - 07-29-2021
(07-28-2021, 05:03 PM)Shannon Wrote: You're assuming that you're not experiencing anything again, when this is a very different experience to previously, and that means 4 loops is doing something. Instead of going to 5 loops, next cycle run only 1 loop of hybrid if you choose to change your listening pattern. Don't go to 5. More is not always better.
Thanks @Shannon I just saw this now and went up to 5 loops last night, so shall I bring it back to 4loops for this 2nd days listening?
Im apprehensive though of going down a gear to 1 loop since I was on 4loops US before.
RE: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** - Jake2015 - 07-29-2021
Day 72/180 ON #1- Thursday 29 July - *Hybrid loop 5 cycle 1*
So @Shannon replied to me above but I only saw it now and I've replied above too so waiting on his reply.
In mean time here is my update...
1) I went to bed early. I decided no way is my sleep going to change unless I try and fix the time I get to bed so I took the sleep supplements and got to bed for 11pm. I hit play on the 5 loop playlist I set up and resided to sleep.
2) Sadly I woke up with tummy aches and heavy diarrhoea due to food poisoning. I had eaten mushrooms that I've had in my refrigerator for a while that smelt 80-90% ok so I assumed they were. Never fucking again! lol
so my night was many trips to the WC/toilet and even with all that I took my phone with me so that I didn't miss any chance of listening to any of the loops. I did my best and sure I managed to listen to everything.
3) I also remembered whilst in the toilet something I forgot to add to yesterdays data which is that I had a dream and it was about the girl I had oneitis for. I cant recall the dream but it was based on here.
I think last night I had a dream about a girl that I got back in touch with, we arent in touch now who I had oneitis for prior to the girl mentioned above and I think I dreamt that she got married and sent me pics to get a reaction. Its hazy as most dream recollection is and I'm unsure if this was even last night or the night before but it was 1 of these 2 nights.
4) That aside I woke but due to broken sleep struggled to wake at the time I wanted 8am and zoned out through the alarms until I woke at 9am then slept and finally at 9.40am mustered the power of greyskull (He - Man cartoon joke for anyone who doesn't know) and sat up. I didn't and haven't felt tired since. No tiredness nothing.
5) Time is now 11.54am and I have had breakfast and now will study.
RE: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** - Jake2015 - 07-30-2021
Day 72/180 ON #1- Thursday 29 July - *Hybrid loop 5 cycle 1* - part 2
6) Managed to study for most of the day. Spending 1-2months through youtube on how to study I think has paid off though this way is so slow but I think it works.
7) My grocery shopping came. As I was organising and cleaning it I came across a tiny insect crawling around. Its tiny yet it created some anxiety in me ie fear.
8) Got to bed late, my fault but a channel I follow on youtube did a live stream at their national time which was super late for me but I saw it as a reward for a few days studying etc so stayed up watching that which meant no sleep supplements, no good sleep time and thus coca cola zero no sugar which inevitably kept me awake
9) got to bed, hit play on the sub and 5hours/loops later I woke. Slept around 6ish woke around 11am.
----
Day 73/180 ON #2- Friday 30 July - *Hybrid loop 5 cycle 1*
So didn't get a reply back from @Shannon so decided to err on caution and not change the loop mid cycle as he's always spoken against that so after the next 2 days off ill return back to 4 loops as he advised and see how that goes.
1) Woke at 11am as mentioned above. My friend hasn't seen me in months and I never find time to go out so we planned to meet up for a walk and chat today and so I woke spoke to him and got up and ate.
2) Whilst speaking to him about our future after our degrees he mentioned how he's emailing places for some work shadowing/experience - this created fear in me, anxiety in my chest. So this fear is still there too.
So in summary I've had 2 indicators of fear that hasn't changed or been affected as yet being the insects and future career.
Im unaware what fears have been touched or dealt with by this sub so far but I'm not at the half way 90 days stage yet and Im aware im still trying to find that sweet spot for me but I'm hoping by day 90 to really see something concrete so 17days left till then. I will thus stay on 4 loops as mentioned for another cycle and then not sure how to progress so will see.
If dreams are any indicator then it seems I was getting results at 1 loop US, 2 loop US, 3 loop US, I think. Unsure if hybrid has done anything but hey im seldom able to see for myself whats happening.
RE: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** - Jake2015 - 07-30-2021
Day 73/180 ON #2- Friday 30 July - *Hybrid loop 5 cycle 1* - part 2
3) Met my friend and walked in the awesome sun and heat for around 3hours, covering between 4-5miles and over 10k steps. Remarkable but he had a goal of 3miles and I just went with it.
4) Whilst talking he brought up how he has emailed companies/organisations for work experience etc, I don't know I was fearing it and amazed that I had such fear and yet he didn't. I think the fear of failure it is indeed.
5) I got home and realised this fear is stopping me and well I hope OF sorts this bitch out man! I enjoyed the walk though and by evening (after shower and eaten) I felt ok and good and thought I could just go for a walk again tomorrow so will see.
My exercise goals did include getting 10k steps a day so suddenly its not that unreachable though I thought I would need weeks for my legs to get used to it.
6) After eating and chilling the youtube channel I follow was going to do a live stream tonight but decided to do a warm up stream suddenly so was on there for 1.5hours after which I realised I have around 2hours before the real stream so I studied.
I realised I'm enjoying the studying now, because I'm using online FUN videos rather than reading boring lectures and studying by gamifying the study too so its not a chore or tedious or boring or scary.
7) I took a break from the study to come and update this.
Conclusion for me is that fear of failure and applying for work or work shadowing - scary!
RE: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** - Shannon - 07-31-2021
Jake, I have concluded that your pattern of behavior and history of 100% failure with everything prior to OFv3, and your efforts to sabotage v3, point to you being one of those rare people who is here not to actually improve, but to get attention instead. And your learned behavior for getting attention is failure and helplessness.
Since your motivation is to fail to get that attention, you're doing everything in your power to fail and sabotage success. So I have devised a plan to help you. First, I'm banning you from our store. While I will make less money because you won't be buying my products anymore, you will also not have access to more and more subs to use to endlessly perpetuate your attention seeking through failure patterns.
Second, if you do not manage to make this program (OFv3) work, I'll be banning you from the forum as well.
We are here to help people succeed, not enable them to endlessly fail in the pursuit of attention. And since you seem to be a part of that 0.001% who can do this despite everything I have accomplished and done to the contrary, I now have no choice but to put to you an ultimatum: break your pattern of behavior and make progress, or we will have to break that pattern for you.
I appreciate your patronage through the years, but no person who really wants to succeed in life buys expensive self improvement programs and then self sabotages to the point of failure, and then does it again, over and over. So I'm going to force a change with this course of action. You either stop the self sabotage or you find somewhere else to seek attention.
RE: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** - RTBoss - 07-31-2021
(07-31-2021, 04:52 AM)Shannon Wrote: Jake, I have concluded that your pattern of behavior and history of 100% failure with everything prior to OFv3, and your efforts to sabotage v3, point to you being one of those rare people who is here not to actually improve, but to get attention instead. And your learned behavior for getting attention is failure and helplessness.
(07-30-2021, 02:10 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: Im unaware what fears have been touched or dealt with by this sub so far but I'm not at the half way 90 days stage yet and Im aware im still trying to find that sweet spot for me but I'm hoping by day 90 to really see something concrete so 17days left till then. I will thus stay on 4 loops as mentioned for another cycle and then not sure how to progress so will see.
If dreams are any indicator then it seems I was getting results at 1 loop US, 2 loop US, 3 loop US, I think. Unsure if hybrid has done anything but hey im seldom able to see for myself whats happening.
Good idea.
Jake, you're so "aware" of your fears, I'd think you'd be able to see where they've been reduced. Instead, you substitute some fear you feel or think about to focus on, while other fears have clearly improved. That's a clear example of willful ignorance. I hope you realize @Shannon is giving you some tough love. It's time to buck up, buckle down, and make progress.
LFG!
RE: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** - findingme - 07-31-2021
(07-31-2021, 04:52 AM)Shannon Wrote: And your learned behavior for getting attention is failure and helplessness.
I've done this myself, for a long time. I still see it, and a core fear is taking responsibility for my life.
Jake, this isn't a bash at you. This is me saying you're not alone. I did this, and have done it using subliminals for a number of years now. Gratefully, Shannon pointed it out when he wrote the Overcome the Victim Mentality description for LTU5, and LTU5 worked wonders on my self-esteem. Pasted below is the description from LTU6.
"A victim mentality can result from one or both of two situations. The first is as a result of actually having been a victim of some person, thing or circumstance, which then becomes a part of the accepted self identity of the person. The second is when a person realizes that they can get something they want (usually attention, pity, special status, special treatment, some form of control, money or special favors) from being, or pretending to be, a victim. In either case, a victim mentality degrades self respect, self esteem, a sense of self worth and a healthy self identity. This program works to remove the victim mentality, regardless of what brought it about, which helps prevent being a victim in the future, and also makes the person naturally healthier mentally and emotionally."
What hit me was it "degrades self respect, self esteem, a sense of self worth and a healthy self identity." Yeah. Every single time. I'd just want to whine or manipulate others around (me not feeling good about myself anyway), and I'd feel like shit after. I'd sit and stew now, wondering essentially "how can I get good attention?" It's a never-ending cycle. My focus used to be on getting attention--it just pisses me off now at times. That's NOT me. It DOESN'T work--or feel good.
Which is also why I'm not writing as much. Old pretentions still exist, but following them hurts me more, most of the time immediately. My growth or lack of it is not about anyone else. It's about me. I realize and am working now to change my focus from having someone say I'm worthy to me saying and thinking I'm worthy.
I'm not sure if you relate to my story, but there it is. I found staying in old thinking hurt me more and more internally.
The question I'll ask and let you think on is this: "what do you REALLY want?" I don't expect or require a response. It's for you to think on. Some answers might not be comfortable, but being honest with yourself is the priority. It's your journey. Give yourself some credit, and you'll make responsible decisions. Peace.
RE: **Jake's Overcoming Fear v.3 5.75.7G Journal** - Jake2015 - 07-31-2021
(07-31-2021, 04:52 AM)Shannon Wrote: Jake, I have concluded that your pattern of behavior and history of 100% failure with everything prior to OFv3, and your efforts to sabotage v3, point to you being one of those rare people who is here not to actually improve, but to get attention instead. And your learned behavior for getting attention is failure and helplessness.
Since your motivation is to fail to get that attention, you're doing everything in your power to fail and sabotage success. So I have devised a plan to help you. First, I'm banning you from our store. While I will make less money because you won't be buying my products anymore, you will also not have access to more and more subs to use to endlessly perpetuate your attention seeking through failure patterns.
Second, if you do not manage to make this program (OFv3) work, I'll be banning you from the forum as well.
We are here to help people succeed, not enable them to endlessly fail in the pursuit of attention. And since you seem to be a part of that 0.001% who can do this despite everything I have accomplished and done to the contrary, I now have no choice but to put to you an ultimatum: break your pattern of behavior and make progress, or we will have to break that pattern for you.
I appreciate your patronage through the years, but no person who really wants to succeed in life buys expensive self improvement programs and then self sabotages to the point of failure, and then does it again, over and over. So I'm going to force a change with this course of action. You either stop the self sabotage or you find somewhere else to seek attention.
1) 100% failure with the previous subs yes I agree.
2) Self sabotage has been mentioned a few times above but what am I doing that is being regarded as self-sabotage? All I'm doing is hitting play and sleeping. Im then journally 'anything' (not everything as my life is private) that I think could be relevant to fear or confidence, isn't that the idea, so what is the self sabotage exactly please?
3) Im not looking for attention just journalling for 2 reasons:
a) To help you @Shannon to see how I'm doing, as you are qualified to see things whether I do or do not
b) To help me to see over the course of time how I have changed with this sub. Catman pointed out I should stick to it daily and I did see the sense in that too.
Regarding the ban from the store I have pointed out at the start that I have no intention to purchase anything until I give this sub (OF3) the full 180 days and so far I seem to be doing well with that. 180 is also a possible minimum, I may decide to stay on the sub even longer if it helps remove all fears though the model suggests 180 days is the course.
4) Banning from the forum if "I fail to make the program work" but how am I doing that when all I do is hit play and listen?
Please help me to understand what you mean with all I have asked above.