(04-22-2020, 03:27 PM)Shannon Wrote: Good luck with your endeavor.  How are you using the program right now?

(04-22-2020, 01:57 PM)RogueTwelve Wrote: Hi all, this is the first of hopefully a few journals as I try Shannon's subs. I posted in my intro and will summarize here: trying to become more social and comfortable around strangers and women as I am currently comfortable in my career, but I feel a bit socially stunted otherwise.

Currently trying to break a major porn addiction which I have tried to break before with not so great results. Probably got exposed to porn around the beginning of high school and got hooked before college, so I've been at this thing for over a decade now. It lead me down a rabbit hole of dark fetishes which really made me question my sexuality and ***** with my head (hypno porn can be very damaging, please take it from me), and basically replaced any real potential for relationships (only encouraged me along with past rejections and lots of fear and misinformation about women from the internet to not really pursue people). I usually masturbate daily (with or without porn stimulation, sometimes just fantasies in my head) and it got bad during the start of the Coronavirus lockdown as I was much more isolated than normal.

I've been using the sub since Sunday now (so currently on day 4) and it helped more than I thought! Just up until today I managed to refrain from masturbating, though I was still looking at images. I have had less of a desire to look though, which is better. I've been cutting off immediate obvious porn sources but still get the urge to look, although I believe the urges are less frequent. I plan on doing a full dopamine detox soon for a day or two since I know other things are stimulating my brain too much, which keeps porn a bit less stimulating than it already is and makes the hole deeper.

Will be posting every couple days since my routine is pretty dull right now, just working and living at home on the computer with my friends, videos, games, programming, reading & writing. I have been keeping up with runs and bodyweight exercises during the quarantine, which helps a lot. After this, I plan on running Absolute Self Confidence to give myself a boost of esteem after getting through this dark spot in life.

Thanks for any support!

(04-22-2020, 07:20 PM)CatMan Wrote: I struggled with porn for awhile, it was a contributing factor to me becoming a 38 year old virgin. It's evil, I never realised how destructive it was, until I had terrible PIED, self worth issues in regards to feeling not good enough for girls, out of my league, fear surrounding them as a result, and felt unable to bond "normally" with girls like they were different creatures even. All apparently things that can be imprinted with porn watching over time. Insanely self destructive...but I had no idea of the issues behind it. Most people don't, it's terrible what it does to you under the surface...

I've dealt with porn, and DID deal with a much more addictive to me, masturbation addiction. I found the porn much easier to kick than the masturbation, surprisingly. The masturbation addiction came back after a huge 450+ day streak of nofap, while on a program here. I listened to the Stop Masturbating sub a second time, as it got rid of the habit for me the first time around for that streak. And now, it has seemingly rid myself of the addiction this time around, I hope it sticks. Day 55 of nofap hard mode. Starting to see signs of the PIED improving, among some other things. This will take time though, especially since I'm a virgin and porn and masturbation were my only sexual outlets my whole life, unfortunately...so a lot of work to do to repair this and make me "normal". 

I've used both programs, the OPA and SM subs. Stick to it, even if you have to use just one at a time. I'd choose the porn one first, as you have. Porn is more destructive of the two, clearly. The quicker you get healing from that, the quicker your life can begin.

Stick with it. Read YourBrainOnPorn.com if you haven't already to keep you motivated. Some fantastic videos Dr. Wilson has there too. You can break this. I believe in you. Your future self depends on you now.

(04-23-2020, 12:17 PM)RogueTwelve Wrote: Thanks tolgaocal, Catman for the encouragement. I've noticed a lot of the same symptoms like lack of self worth, not bonding with girls, etc. I've kept up with friendships and relationships to the point where I'm comfortable around women, but not in a close setting with them beyond just good friends. I'm glad I am taking care of this before I hit 30, otherwise I'd hate to imagine where I'd be.

I don't believe I have PIED, and masturbation is kind of a problem but it seems to just be tied mostly to the stuff that porn triggers in me. I'd like to remove porn first and see where things are before I try to run two subs at once and maybe make one less effective.

Update for day 5 since I'm following up: got an urge to look at porn and did, no masturbating though. That was around noon, no urges since then.

Started reading this book: https://pmohackbook.org/ It has some good information on the trap. Will finish it over the next couple of days while listening.