Quote:Ask yourself, how is it possible that I can create a simple focus-fire sub that is designed for anxiety relief or laser focus and concentration, and have it work literally as well as a chemical drug for most people, and yet DMSI, in the exact same technology level, isn't working yet for those very same people?

(10-28-2019, 12:51 PM)Shannon Wrote: Until and unless I either figure out how to turn off the fear, or overpower it and force it to see that achieving the goals is not going to result in the ridiculous imagined "death" it thinks will result.

(10-29-2019, 08:10 AM)hsindermann Wrote:

Quote:Ask yourself, how is it possible that I can create a simple focus-fire sub that is designed for anxiety relief or laser focus and concentration, and have it work literally as well as a chemical drug for most people, and yet DMSI, in the exact same technology level, isn't working yet for those very same people?

@Shannon I have a hunch you won't agree with me, but I want to offer an alternative (or at least complementary) interpretation. I'm not 100% sure if that is the case, but I think a lot of the "how" to achieve some things are left to our subconscious minds to figure out? Like in UMS we are instructed to work towards our goals of making as much money as what our consciously set goal is, but it is left to our subconscious to figure out how to get there exactly. Wouldn't it be possible that our subconscious minds don't have a clue how to reach those goals, and therefore don't execute?

Quote:When I was running UMS, my declared goal was a relatively modest one: Make about 1K € per month as a side income by doing the thing I always wanted to do - composing music. I indeed started working on my composing skills more after starting out with UMS. And pretty soon I got 2 courses on how to make money with music. The gist of these courses pretty much was: There is almost zero chance that I could make any substantial amount of money with the music I'd love to write, as the market is very small and very many composers (many of them more experienced, with better connections and already long in the business) are already competing over it. And you can probably guess what happened: It completely killed my drive. So possibly what I was asking there of my subconsciousness is something that it could simply not figure out how to make it happen?

Quote:Kinda similar thought on DMSI: Someone not (very) experienced with women might just have a hard time figuring out the things that are asked of them to realize. Honestly I also have a few doubts about some things being possible at all in DMSI. I seem to remember that there were plans for 'Natural Seduction Target Side' or something similar, so in a way directly influencing how the other person would behave towards the user. I can not imagine a way how that would be possible. Guess some aura stuff - but what I imagine an aura to be is a passive field that can communicate some basic things about a person. Like it could be a very strong energy field, making that person seem like a vibrant, energetic, healthy man. And therefore a perfect potential mate for women. That I can understand. How an active influencing would work I cannot. And possibly our subconscious minds cannot either? And possibly if they run into problems like these, they just invalidate the whole thing?

Quote:The "simpler" focus fire subs don't have the same problem: Our minds know how to focus on something, so they won't run into the same "I can't figure it out" or "that's just not possible" problems that DMSI or UMS might trigger, and our minds therefore can make LFC work.

(10-29-2019, 09:59 AM)tristan Wrote:

(10-28-2019, 12:51 PM)Shannon Wrote: Until and unless I either figure out how to turn off the fear, or overpower it and force it to see that achieving the goals is not going to result in the ridiculous imagined "death" it thinks will result.

But if we push for enough time the listening time (ex. >3 months) of the actual FRM version, should it prevail in the end? Is that correct? SubC wouldn't resist for that long right?

(10-31-2019, 01:30 PM)Shannon Wrote:

(10-29-2019, 08:10 AM)hsindermann Wrote:

Quote:Ask yourself, how is it possible that I can create a simple focus-fire sub that is designed for anxiety relief or laser focus and concentration, and have it work literally as well as a chemical drug for most people, and yet DMSI, in the exact same technology level, isn't working yet for those very same people?

@Shannon I have a hunch you won't agree with me, but I want to offer an alternative (or at least complementary) interpretation. I'm not 100% sure if that is the case, but I think a lot of the "how" to achieve some things are left to our subconscious minds to figure out? Like in UMS we are instructed to work towards our goals of making as much money as what our consciously set goal is, but it is left to our subconscious to figure out how to get there exactly. Wouldn't it be possible that our subconscious minds don't have a clue how to reach those goals, and therefore don't execute?

I have seen plenty of evidence for more than a decade that the subconscious can and will find a way unless it is trying not to.  Some part of you knows how to get there.

Quote:When I was running UMS, my declared goal was a relatively modest one: Make about 1K € per month as a side income by doing the thing I always wanted to do - composing music. I indeed started working on my composing skills more after starting out with UMS. And pretty soon I got 2 courses on how to make money with music. The gist of these courses pretty much was: There is almost zero chance that I could make any substantial amount of money with the music I'd love to write, as the market is very small and very many composers (many of them more experienced, with better connections and already long in the business) are already competing over it. And you can probably guess what happened: It completely killed my drive. So possibly what I was asking there of my subconsciousness is something that it could simply not figure out how to make it happen?

Okay, so what we have here is your conscious mind probably attempting to take too much control, in at least one way, and you may have been consciously and/or subconsciously self sabotaging in at least one way.  I'll explain.

First, you want to select an end goal financially.  How to get there should be left up to your subconscious.  By trying to specify "by doing the thing I always wanted to do - composing music", you limited yourself hugely from the get-go by trying to force what you consciously wanted, and not give your subconscious its head to choose how to get to the goal.  Mistake #1.  Your subconscious knows a lot of things you consciously don't, and that is why we only specify the end goal financially, not how to get there.

By doing this, you provided yourself with a much more difficult challenge than you needed to, and very likely set yourself up to "realize" the difficulty, and then conclude that it "was impossible" and then give up.  Exactly what one would so, I might add, if they wanted to fail (stay where they were/stagnate), but not take responsibility for that failure.  That was likely at the subconscious level, which would further allow you the opportunity to claim innocence at the conscious level, and again, have the opportunity to take no personal responsibility for achieving or failing to achieve the goal.

People say what you want to hear, but they always DO the truth.  And the truth here can be seen by what you did: Artificial limitation that created an excuse to claim it wasn't possible and give up.  Which allows you to stay where you are without making progress... which I contend was the true subconscious goal all along.  

To correct this, change your goal to "Make at least 1K € net per month as a side income", or maybe leave out the side income and set your goal to what would make you truly happy if you didn't limit yourself.  Oh, and don't give up, and don't expect it to happen overnight.

But I can tell you, after settling on a goal, and writing it down and pasting it up in front of me while I am sitting at my desk, and reading it out loud at least once a day, I have seen shifts take place that astonish me and my girlfriend within a week of doing so.  My goals aren't small, but they are well on their way to becoming.

Quote:Kinda similar thought on DMSI: Someone not (very) experienced with women might just have a hard time figuring out the things that are asked of them to realize. Honestly I also have a few doubts about some things being possible at all in DMSI. I seem to remember that there were plans for 'Natural Seduction Target Side' or something similar, so in a way directly influencing how the other person would behave towards the user. I can not imagine a way how that would be possible. Guess some aura stuff - but what I imagine an aura to be is a passive field that can communicate some basic things about a person. Like it could be a very strong energy field, making that person seem like a vibrant, energetic, healthy man. And therefore a perfect potential mate for women. That I can understand. How an active influencing would work I cannot. And possibly our subconscious minds cannot either? And possibly if they run into problems like these, they just invalidate the whole thing?

Okay, so here you're falling for the logical fallacy that "If I can't see and/or understand how X is possible, it isn't."  Which would mean that unless you're a rocket scientist, rockets don't work.  Unless you're an electrical engineer, computers don't work.  Unless you're a kernel programmer, operating systems don't work.  Unless you're an automotive mechanic, cars don't work.  Unless you're an airline engineer or mechanic, airlines don't work.  Unless you're a mathematician, advanced maths don't work.  And so forth.

You most likely don't know how your computer works.  Or how the microchip works, or how your operating system kernel works, or how the cell phone works, or how satellites work, or how qubits in quantum computers work, or how programming works, or how rocket engines work.  But that doesn't stop them from working.

What you're doing here is artificially limiting yourself because you're afraid that if it works, and you don't know how and why it works, you might have to change your world view, and if that's the case, maybe your whole world view is wrong, and if that's the case, maybe you really don't know anything, and then what?!

The fact is, we have arrived where we are with the subliminals I am building and the technology I am creating based on a starting point of pure simplicity, and then performing experiments to see what does and what does not work.  What we have now is what works.  What we don't necessarily have is a perfect understanding of why it works, how it works, or how to use it perfectly.  That's why we are using DMSI to figure out what does and does not work with those things.  It isn't a question of "can it be done".  I would never have started this project if that was at all a question in my mind.  The only question I had and still have is, "How can this be done?"  Because based on the results of countless experiments I have done and observed before ever starting with DMSI, I know for a fact that the goals of DMSI can be achieved - but only if we understand how.  And that is a very tall, very complex order, and it is taking years to unravel one strand at a time.  But we have come to the point now that the vast majority of people aren't questioning "Can this be done?" anymore... they're asking... "How long will it take to figure out the rest of how to make this work fully?"  And there are very good reasons for that.  It can be done.  We just have to learn how to do it in a sea of human variables.  

Quote:The "simpler" focus fire subs don't have the same problem: Our minds know how to focus on something, so they won't run into the same "I can't figure it out" or "that's just not possible" problems that DMSI or UMS might trigger, and our minds therefore can make LFC work.

I'll let you in on a secret.  "That's just not possible" is something that shows up very clearly in my models.  I'm currently working on Beast 19, and I have to walk the razor's edge with designing and configuring it, because it's so powerful now that if I push too far, "that's just not possible" kicks in and everything just fails.  Your subconscious will try until it doesn't have the energy, ability or it isn't a possible goal.

So before I ever build and release a subliminal, I know what is and is not possible, and I don't bother trying to build certain things because I "know that's just not possible".  Those things that show a positive result of putting in sufficient time and effort in designing, figuring out and building may take a while to figure out, but they are possible, as long as we put in the time, energy and effort to figure out the specifics of how to do it.

DMSI and UMS both have goals that are both entirely possible.  You just don't want to achieve their goals.

(10-31-2019, 08:37 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote:

(10-31-2019, 01:30 PM)Shannon Wrote:

(10-29-2019, 08:10 AM)hsindermann Wrote:

Quote:Ask yourself, how is it possible that I can create a simple focus-fire sub that is designed for anxiety relief or laser focus and concentration, and have it work literally as well as a chemical drug for most people, and yet DMSI, in the exact same technology level, isn't working yet for those very same people?

@Shannon I have a hunch you won't agree with me, but I want to offer an alternative (or at least complementary) interpretation. I'm not 100% sure if that is the case, but I think a lot of the "how" to achieve some things are left to our subconscious minds to figure out? Like in UMS we are instructed to work towards our goals of making as much money as what our consciously set goal is, but it is left to our subconscious to figure out how to get there exactly. Wouldn't it be possible that our subconscious minds don't have a clue how to reach those goals, and therefore don't execute?

I have seen plenty of evidence for more than a decade that the subconscious can and will find a way unless it is trying not to.  Some part of you knows how to get there.

Quote:When I was running UMS, my declared goal was a relatively modest one: Make about 1K € per month as a side income by doing the thing I always wanted to do - composing music. I indeed started working on my composing skills more after starting out with UMS. And pretty soon I got 2 courses on how to make money with music. The gist of these courses pretty much was: There is almost zero chance that I could make any substantial amount of money with the music I'd love to write, as the market is very small and very many composers (many of them more experienced, with better connections and already long in the business) are already competing over it. And you can probably guess what happened: It completely killed my drive. So possibly what I was asking there of my subconsciousness is something that it could simply not figure out how to make it happen?

Okay, so what we have here is your conscious mind probably attempting to take too much control, in at least one way, and you may have been consciously and/or subconsciously self sabotaging in at least one way.  I'll explain.

First, you want to select an end goal financially.  How to get there should be left up to your subconscious.  By trying to specify "by doing the thing I always wanted to do - composing music", you limited yourself hugely from the get-go by trying to force what you consciously wanted, and not give your subconscious its head to choose how to get to the goal.  Mistake #1.  Your subconscious knows a lot of things you consciously don't, and that is why we only specify the end goal financially, not how to get there.

By doing this, you provided yourself with a much more difficult challenge than you needed to, and very likely set yourself up to "realize" the difficulty, and then conclude that it "was impossible" and then give up.  Exactly what one would so, I might add, if they wanted to fail (stay where they were/stagnate), but not take responsibility for that failure.  That was likely at the subconscious level, which would further allow you the opportunity to claim innocence at the conscious level, and again, have the opportunity to take no personal responsibility for achieving or failing to achieve the goal.

People say what you want to hear, but they always DO the truth.  And the truth here can be seen by what you did: Artificial limitation that created an excuse to claim it wasn't possible and give up.  Which allows you to stay where you are without making progress... which I contend was the true subconscious goal all along.  

To correct this, change your goal to "Make at least 1K € net per month as a side income", or maybe leave out the side income and set your goal to what would make you truly happy if you didn't limit yourself.  Oh, and don't give up, and don't expect it to happen overnight.

But I can tell you, after settling on a goal, and writing it down and pasting it up in front of me while I am sitting at my desk, and reading it out loud at least once a day, I have seen shifts take place that astonish me and my girlfriend within a week of doing so.  My goals aren't small, but they are well on their way to becoming.

Quote:Kinda similar thought on DMSI: Someone not (very) experienced with women might just have a hard time figuring out the things that are asked of them to realize. Honestly I also have a few doubts about some things being possible at all in DMSI. I seem to remember that there were plans for 'Natural Seduction Target Side' or something similar, so in a way directly influencing how the other person would behave towards the user. I can not imagine a way how that would be possible. Guess some aura stuff - but what I imagine an aura to be is a passive field that can communicate some basic things about a person. Like it could be a very strong energy field, making that person seem like a vibrant, energetic, healthy man. And therefore a perfect potential mate for women. That I can understand. How an active influencing would work I cannot. And possibly our subconscious minds cannot either? And possibly if they run into problems like these, they just invalidate the whole thing?

Okay, so here you're falling for the logical fallacy that "If I can't see and/or understand how X is possible, it isn't."  Which would mean that unless you're a rocket scientist, rockets don't work.  Unless you're an electrical engineer, computers don't work.  Unless you're a kernel programmer, operating systems don't work.  Unless you're an automotive mechanic, cars don't work.  Unless you're an airline engineer or mechanic, airlines don't work.  Unless you're a mathematician, advanced maths don't work.  And so forth.

You most likely don't know how your computer works.  Or how the microchip works, or how your operating system kernel works, or how the cell phone works, or how satellites work, or how qubits in quantum computers work, or how programming works, or how rocket engines work.  But that doesn't stop them from working.

What you're doing here is artificially limiting yourself because you're afraid that if it works, and you don't know how and why it works, you might have to change your world view, and if that's the case, maybe your whole world view is wrong, and if that's the case, maybe you really don't know anything, and then what?!

The fact is, we have arrived where we are with the subliminals I am building and the technology I am creating based on a starting point of pure simplicity, and then performing experiments to see what does and what does not work.  What we have now is what works.  What we don't necessarily have is a perfect understanding of why it works, how it works, or how to use it perfectly.  That's why we are using DMSI to figure out what does and does not work with those things.  It isn't a question of "can it be done".  I would never have started this project if that was at all a question in my mind.  The only question I had and still have is, "How can this be done?"  Because based on the results of countless experiments I have done and observed before ever starting with DMSI, I know for a fact that the goals of DMSI can be achieved - but only if we understand how.  And that is a very tall, very complex order, and it is taking years to unravel one strand at a time.  But we have come to the point now that the vast majority of people aren't questioning "Can this be done?" anymore... they're asking... "How long will it take to figure out the rest of how to make this work fully?"  And there are very good reasons for that.  It can be done.  We just have to learn how to do it in a sea of human variables.  

Quote:The "simpler" focus fire subs don't have the same problem: Our minds know how to focus on something, so they won't run into the same "I can't figure it out" or "that's just not possible" problems that DMSI or UMS might trigger, and our minds therefore can make LFC work.

I'll let you in on a secret.  "That's just not possible" is something that shows up very clearly in my models.  I'm currently working on Beast 19, and I have to walk the razor's edge with designing and configuring it, because it's so powerful now that if I push too far, "that's just not possible" kicks in and everything just fails.  Your subconscious will try until it doesn't have the energy, ability or it isn't a possible goal.

So before I ever build and release a subliminal, I know what is and is not possible, and I don't bother trying to build certain things because I "know that's just not possible".  Those things that show a positive result of putting in sufficient time and effort in designing, figuring out and building may take a while to figure out, but they are possible, as long as we put in the time, energy and effort to figure out the specifics of how to do it.

DMSI and UMS both have goals that are both entirely possible.  You just don't want to achieve their goals.

 You think with enough time, UMSv1 will get over that hump? I've beent carpetbombing damn near 24/7 for 6 days straight. Tonight's my 7th night of 24/7 carpetbombing and then I'll go back to observing the bloom. I'm DEFINITELY going to do the thing you recommended, about writing my goal down and repeating it to myself out loud often! Thanks for the suggestion!
You think that'd my biggest problem with UMS? I just don't want to achieve my goal, subconciously?

(10-31-2019, 09:31 PM)hsindermann Wrote: Thanks a lot Shannon for the explanations!

As for my choice of goal for UMS: I've used that limitation because that is what I am really after - being able to make a living from something I love to do. I am already making a perfectly fine amount of money with my 9-5 office job - the problem is that I don't actually enjoy what I am doing there, as it is neither interesting nor satisfying. So I was trying to use USM to (at least partially) help with that situation.

(11-01-2019, 07:18 AM)Shannon Wrote:

(10-31-2019, 08:37 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote:

(10-31-2019, 01:30 PM)Shannon Wrote:

(10-29-2019, 08:10 AM)hsindermann Wrote:

Quote:Ask yourself, how is it possible that I can create a simple focus-fire sub that is designed for anxiety relief or laser focus and concentration, and have it work literally as well as a chemical drug for most people, and yet DMSI, in the exact same technology level, isn't working yet for those very same people?

@Shannon I have a hunch you won't agree with me, but I want to offer an alternative (or at least complementary) interpretation. I'm not 100% sure if that is the case, but I think a lot of the "how" to achieve some things are left to our subconscious minds to figure out? Like in UMS we are instructed to work towards our goals of making as much money as what our consciously set goal is, but it is left to our subconscious to figure out how to get there exactly. Wouldn't it be possible that our subconscious minds don't have a clue how to reach those goals, and therefore don't execute?

I have seen plenty of evidence for more than a decade that the subconscious can and will find a way unless it is trying not to.  Some part of you knows how to get there.

Quote:When I was running UMS, my declared goal was a relatively modest one: Make about 1K € per month as a side income by doing the thing I always wanted to do - composing music. I indeed started working on my composing skills more after starting out with UMS. And pretty soon I got 2 courses on how to make money with music. The gist of these courses pretty much was: There is almost zero chance that I could make any substantial amount of money with the music I'd love to write, as the market is very small and very many composers (many of them more experienced, with better connections and already long in the business) are already competing over it. And you can probably guess what happened: It completely killed my drive. So possibly what I was asking there of my subconsciousness is something that it could simply not figure out how to make it happen?

Okay, so what we have here is your conscious mind probably attempting to take too much control, in at least one way, and you may have been consciously and/or subconsciously self sabotaging in at least one way.  I'll explain.

First, you want to select an end goal financially.  How to get there should be left up to your subconscious.  By trying to specify "by doing the thing I always wanted to do - composing music", you limited yourself hugely from the get-go by trying to force what you consciously wanted, and not give your subconscious its head to choose how to get to the goal.  Mistake #1.  Your subconscious knows a lot of things you consciously don't, and that is why we only specify the end goal financially, not how to get there.

By doing this, you provided yourself with a much more difficult challenge than you needed to, and very likely set yourself up to "realize" the difficulty, and then conclude that it "was impossible" and then give up.  Exactly what one would so, I might add, if they wanted to fail (stay where they were/stagnate), but not take responsibility for that failure.  That was likely at the subconscious level, which would further allow you the opportunity to claim innocence at the conscious level, and again, have the opportunity to take no personal responsibility for achieving or failing to achieve the goal.

People say what you want to hear, but they always DO the truth.  And the truth here can be seen by what you did: Artificial limitation that created an excuse to claim it wasn't possible and give up.  Which allows you to stay where you are without making progress... which I contend was the true subconscious goal all along.  

To correct this, change your goal to "Make at least 1K € net per month as a side income", or maybe leave out the side income and set your goal to what would make you truly happy if you didn't limit yourself.  Oh, and don't give up, and don't expect it to happen overnight.

But I can tell you, after settling on a goal, and writing it down and pasting it up in front of me while I am sitting at my desk, and reading it out loud at least once a day, I have seen shifts take place that astonish me and my girlfriend within a week of doing so.  My goals aren't small, but they are well on their way to becoming.

Quote:Kinda similar thought on DMSI: Someone not (very) experienced with women might just have a hard time figuring out the things that are asked of them to realize. Honestly I also have a few doubts about some things being possible at all in DMSI. I seem to remember that there were plans for 'Natural Seduction Target Side' or something similar, so in a way directly influencing how the other person would behave towards the user. I can not imagine a way how that would be possible. Guess some aura stuff - but what I imagine an aura to be is a passive field that can communicate some basic things about a person. Like it could be a very strong energy field, making that person seem like a vibrant, energetic, healthy man. And therefore a perfect potential mate for women. That I can understand. How an active influencing would work I cannot. And possibly our subconscious minds cannot either? And possibly if they run into problems like these, they just invalidate the whole thing?

Okay, so here you're falling for the logical fallacy that "If I can't see and/or understand how X is possible, it isn't."  Which would mean that unless you're a rocket scientist, rockets don't work.  Unless you're an electrical engineer, computers don't work.  Unless you're a kernel programmer, operating systems don't work.  Unless you're an automotive mechanic, cars don't work.  Unless you're an airline engineer or mechanic, airlines don't work.  Unless you're a mathematician, advanced maths don't work.  And so forth.

You most likely don't know how your computer works.  Or how the microchip works, or how your operating system kernel works, or how the cell phone works, or how satellites work, or how qubits in quantum computers work, or how programming works, or how rocket engines work.  But that doesn't stop them from working.

What you're doing here is artificially limiting yourself because you're afraid that if it works, and you don't know how and why it works, you might have to change your world view, and if that's the case, maybe your whole world view is wrong, and if that's the case, maybe you really don't know anything, and then what?!

The fact is, we have arrived where we are with the subliminals I am building and the technology I am creating based on a starting point of pure simplicity, and then performing experiments to see what does and what does not work.  What we have now is what works.  What we don't necessarily have is a perfect understanding of why it works, how it works, or how to use it perfectly.  That's why we are using DMSI to figure out what does and does not work with those things.  It isn't a question of "can it be done".  I would never have started this project if that was at all a question in my mind.  The only question I had and still have is, "How can this be done?"  Because based on the results of countless experiments I have done and observed before ever starting with DMSI, I know for a fact that the goals of DMSI can be achieved - but only if we understand how.  And that is a very tall, very complex order, and it is taking years to unravel one strand at a time.  But we have come to the point now that the vast majority of people aren't questioning "Can this be done?" anymore... they're asking... "How long will it take to figure out the rest of how to make this work fully?"  And there are very good reasons for that.  It can be done.  We just have to learn how to do it in a sea of human variables.  

Quote:The "simpler" focus fire subs don't have the same problem: Our minds know how to focus on something, so they won't run into the same "I can't figure it out" or "that's just not possible" problems that DMSI or UMS might trigger, and our minds therefore can make LFC work.

I'll let you in on a secret.  "That's just not possible" is something that shows up very clearly in my models.  I'm currently working on Beast 19, and I have to walk the razor's edge with designing and configuring it, because it's so powerful now that if I push too far, "that's just not possible" kicks in and everything just fails.  Your subconscious will try until it doesn't have the energy, ability or it isn't a possible goal.

So before I ever build and release a subliminal, I know what is and is not possible, and I don't bother trying to build certain things because I "know that's just not possible".  Those things that show a positive result of putting in sufficient time and effort in designing, figuring out and building may take a while to figure out, but they are possible, as long as we put in the time, energy and effort to figure out the specifics of how to do it.

DMSI and UMS both have goals that are both entirely possible.  You just don't want to achieve their goals.

 You think with enough time, UMSv1 will get over that hump? I've beent carpetbombing damn near 24/7 for 6 days straight. Tonight's my 7th night of 24/7 carpetbombing and then I'll go back to observing the bloom. I'm DEFINITELY going to do the thing you recommended, about writing my goal down and repeating it to myself out loud often! Thanks for the suggestion!
You think that'd my biggest problem with UMS? I just don't want to achieve my goal, subconciously?

First of all, I don't know how best you should use it.  Carpet bombing all the time probably won't always be the best solution.  You will have to observe your blooms and make adjustments.

Second, the biggest issue, we have... still... is the fear.  The closer we get to making these programs work, the more fear they will tend to generate until we definitively figure out how to deal with the fear.  So I'm working on FRM 4.9, but it's going to take some time.

You do need a definitive goal that is written down and which you reference frequently.  I look at mine consciously and say it to myself once a day, but it's in a place where I can see it subconsciously all the time.

And I think your biggest problem is fear of something.  Achieving the goal may be the root of that fear, or a layer somewhere above the root, but there is obviously a desire to avoid achieving the goal.