(04-10-2019, 01:04 PM)Hittman1124 Wrote: The past 2 days have been rough. I don’t know what I’m going to do, I feel incredibly hopeless again.  I guess the other night/day was just placebo with the NSI.  I’ve been inferior my whole life, there’s nothing out there that can help me.  I’m beginning another therapy tomorrow as well on top of that the subliminal, meditation, tDCS, NSI and now IM. Christ it just doesn’t seem that things are meant to be for me.

(04-10-2019, 02:23 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote:

(04-10-2019, 01:04 PM)Hittman1124 Wrote: The past 2 days have been rough. I don’t know what I’m going to do, I feel incredibly hopeless again.  I guess the other night/day was just placebo with the NSI.  I’ve been inferior my whole life, there’s nothing out there that can help me.  I’m beginning another therapy tomorrow as well on top of that the subliminal, meditation, tDCS, NSI and now IM. Christ it just doesn’t seem that things are meant to be for me.

I know EXACTLY how you feel Hittman! I feel the same way. Don't give up! It will get better. Just have faith and take it one step at a time. You'll get to where you want to be, slowly but surely, you just have to slowly inch your way there, I know it feels like ANY progress is a serious struggle and feels like it may be pointless, but you've gotta have faith you'll get the rock over that hill! You can do this Hittman. YOU GOT THIS.

(04-11-2019, 06:11 AM)Shannon Wrote: Let me explain something to you about "placebo".

Placebo is when your conscious mind convinces your subconscious mind to cooperate in the short term, but does not do so in a manner that is permanent.

You said you think maybe your first reaction was placebo.  Well, how would you know what is going on, when you're doing so many things all at once?  One of the things that causes people issues is trying to use too many methods to accomplish a single goal at the same time.  In many cases, this results in those methods interfering with one another and accomplishing jack squat.  Plus, if one happens to work, how do you know which one it was?

In my experience, my subliminals are too powerful to suffer from placebo effect.  The most likely thing you're experiencing is that you have two or more parts of yourself that are in conflict, and one or more of them is trying to resist LTU5/whatever else you're doing.  It's not designed to work overnight.  It's doing a whopping huge amount all at once, and the change is, while rapid relatively, going to take time.  Especially when you're coming from a place like that.  

Also keep in mind that LTU5 is a process and a journey, and despite my best efforts, it's not a painless one yet.  There will be times on this journey where you have your ups and downs.  That's normal.  But you can't arrive at the destination if you stop making that journey.

I'd like you to start asking "Why?"  Why do you feel the way you do?  Why do you respond the way you do?  Why do you choose what you do?  Why would a part of you try to resist LTU5?  Why until you have worked your way back to an answer that tells you what your core issue(s) are.  Once you understand that, you can start working on them directly at a conscious level, which will be helpful to accomplishing your goals faster.

And finally, are you under professional psychiatric care?  You should be, if you're not.

(04-11-2019, 08:22 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: "I just need my mind to become quicker and my memory to improve, if I can do that I’ll trulu be happy."

Hate to burst your bubble, but probably not. With your self esteem issues, chances are you'd be hating yourself even if you had an IQ of 140, you'd probably just find something else to feel is lacking about yourself. 

And I've got an IQ of 130, and I still have self esteem issues and suffer from depression and emotional pain. 

Your issue is your unwillingness to love and accept yourself. You don't need to be Einstein to do that. You also don't need to be Einstein to be mindful and live in the present here and now, which will lead to happiness. Often times, the source of our suffering is our thoughts, which come from the ego. Being smarter won't cause you to think less and experience in the here and now more. In fact, smart people are usually quite prone to thought. 

I would reiterate the importance of being present and mindful, which does not take quickness of mind nor does it require great memory. If you can be present and mindful, you will have something MANY PEOPLE (including many smart people) sorely lack. 

Everybody's got something about themselves that can give them a sense of inadequacy. But ultimately it's our decision to feel inadequate. And I'm telling you, even if your memory improved and your mind became quicker, you still wouldn't be happy because those things do not make one happy. It's like a poor person saying "I just need to have more money, then I'd be truly happy" Hate to burst your bubble, but no. That's not going to make you happy. Would it hurt? probably not. But it wouldn't equate to happiness. 

Try loving yourself as you are. You are not your intellect. You are more than that. And what you have to offer the world is not decided by your intellect. If you can learn to love yourself, you will be able to love others, and if you can love others (TRULY love them) you will have more than enough to offer the world. 

You do not have to be mentally quick to be worthy of love. You are already worthy. You just have to accept that. And maybe that's the purpose of having this limitation in life: for you to learn to love yourself as you are, even without a quick mind. I think you'd be surprised by how much you could do and accomplish and give and how much value you could provide without a quick mind, if you could just love yourself and love others as yourself. You have the potential to be a ray of light shining in the darkness, of which there is plenty here on planet Earth. But that light doesn't come from a quick mind. It comes from an open heart.

(04-12-2019, 04:59 AM)Hittman1124 Wrote: Thanks for your input.

When I was smoking weed consitantly and before I had my meltdown.  When w weed was giving me clarity of mind and allowing me to think quickly it was the only time in my life I was happy.  I just have to stop smoking weed every day, I can’t do it any longer.  I was truly happy bc my mind was streaming with thought, it was the happiest time in my life. It wasn’t due to being high either, I could think and I was clever.