(08-30-2018, 03:10 AM)Infinite Wrote: What keeps me here are responsibilities that I can't just walk away from. The relationship has been confusing, even to me. I lived my life rushing from one thing to the next, never really thinking about things. Just trying to make the best out of everything by moving forward. It was as if I was able to slow down and see things more clearly when I began to play the subs. I now remember the things he does and I understand it better. Like the latest thing he did, he kept us from going to a social event because he didn;t want me to socialize. I saw it clearly on is face. He caused a lot of hurt. He made the choice to make a bad business move as an excuse to get out of the social event. He then used that as an excuse to create drama and stress, I refused to get sucked into it and I put him in his place to keep him from further degrading the quality of our lives. He hasn't done anything to complete the business transaction, so I'm reminded every day of what he did, and it really hurts. Before the subs, I wouldn't have been able to see all that, and I wouldn't have been able to "manage" so like I have.

(08-30-2018, 11:37 AM)Infinite Wrote: @"kingpill" , he seems to have a fear. I could be wrong though. He doesn’t seem to be jealous, neither am I. He is socially awkward. we ended up socially isolated through life choices and circumstances. I eventually became socially awkward also, most likely because of the lack of social activity. I also developed social anxiety that developed after some bad experiences with some of so’s coworkers. I do blame so to a great extent because he knew what these people were like, yet he painted a completely different picture of them to me. He made this same mistake with many other people.

He also would either refuse to introduce me to people or he would introduce me at the wrong time. He would act like I was invisible and create social tension and discomfort by making it obvious that he didn’t want these people to meet me. As if he was embarrassed of me. Horrible, I know. He introduced me to some women who did not want to meet me for whatever reason. One was rushing out of a building, when he rushed over to her to “ introduce” me. The woman clearly did not want to be bothered, but shook my hand awkwardly before running off. Some very important people in our social world paid attention to this, and eventually they didn’t want to talk to me either. He claims that he was just eager to help me socially! I would believe SO that these were just awkward mistakes, but the fact that he made these so called mistakes repeatedly makes me think that he is cruel and wants to keep me isolated.

(09-01-2018, 05:25 AM)rayrocanaldo Wrote: Why do you call him " Confusion " ?

(09-01-2018, 05:53 AM)Infinite Wrote: Last year, he was all alpha, too sexually aggressive, mean. This year, he has been all smiles, softer, emotional. Most people have a pattern of behavior that can be predicted, not him. He leaves me feeling confused. I never thought I'd see it, but the subs have given me an edge over him. I feel like I am stronger than him. Not that I want this to be a win lose relationship, but I feel like I can win.