(10-15-2012, 11:23 AM)HMoody Wrote: I think you and I are almost at the same usage with ASC 5G. I know what you mean about it hitting you hard. It makes me feel really exhausted and tired and depressed at times like it's changing some deep rooted things related to confidence. A break of a day definitely helps and I've been trying to do the 3 days on and one day off routine. I would suggest giving that a try to allow your brain to process some of it.

(10-15-2012, 11:23 AM)HMoody Wrote: I also understand what you mean about that gentleman nice guy mindset because I've come to realize that I have it too though it is less than it used to be. I grew up with a step mother that repeatedly quashed my confidence since I was a young child and made feel ugly and unlovable. On top of that my culture taught me that one should only get intimate with a woman after getting married. I grew up thinking that I must wait only for "the one" and that I must always be nice to women and listen to what they say even if it's total crap, etc. I was wound up so tight in trying not to do anything that would in my mind hurt them that I could never really relax around a girl I really liked and thought that teasing and flirting with them would hurt them if I didn't seriously like them. When I finally made it through all that crap and started dating girls in the final year of college and after college I was still afraid that I would hurt a woman and found myself analyzing everything and still being way too much in my head. I like you pushed away so many chances at dating some amazing women. I can see now the actions I took that pushed them away and it really pisses me off that I missed those chances and that I still indulge in those actions today.

(10-15-2012, 11:23 AM)HMoody Wrote: I do think that getting rid of the old nice-guy mindset is a must to become the men we want to be! I've made a lot of progress but I am still bumping into that old mindset even now at times. Don't get me wrong, I do believe in being kind, loving, polite and am all those things to my friends, family and people I care about. I'm considerate of people and do try to help whenever possible but not at the expense of my own principles, integrity, decisions, and time. I've realized that I can be all those while being strong and being my own man with a spine. I've realized that the nice guy mindset must be destroyed to really have the success with women that we want. To be able to interact with women without any agenda or investment is what I'm aiming for. To Share from Strength, not weakness and to realize that girls are far stronger emotionally then we give them credit for and that sex and everything related to sex is not hurtful to them even if it's only a one time thing. The key is being honest about it an not leading them on to think that the relationship is more serious than it is.

The other thing that struck me this past week was the realization that you can look at flirting and etc with women that you are not interested in long term can be seen as just practice and a way to make both of you feel better. As long as you're honest about it then it's a good thing. Look at it as just practice and a way to build your confidence.

(10-15-2012, 12:09 PM)Sean Wrote: An alpha set himself as a priority, but that does not mean that he is an immoral, heartless user of women. On the contrary, a true alpha is considerate of the women he's dating/romping/teasing/flirting. I believe a true alpha will not pursue a woman to whom he is not attracted, and at the same time, he will not abuse a naive girl's crush just to put a notch on the bedpost.

You're doing fine, Javier. Your virginity is not hampering you badly. You have high standards, and you expect the woman who shares your bed to meet them. At least, that's how I see it.

My definition of a Nice Guy is a guy who makes implied contracts with women. He'd cancel his vacation to help her move, hoping for affection. He'll spend large amounts of money, seeking some kind of return on his investment. He'll hang out in the friendzone hoping she'll see that he's a wonderful guy with so much beta to offer.

I haven't seen you as a Nice Guy.

(10-21-2012, 08:57 PM)Javier Gerardo Wrote: Now I've read some advice that at my stage I should at least f**k low quality women just to get experience but I can't do it.

(10-21-2012, 08:57 PM)Javier Gerardo Wrote: Now I've read some advice that at my stage I should at least f**k low quality women just to get experience but I can't do it. As I am trying to be the alpha male, I'm not pursuing these kinds of women as you have also pointed out. But in the past I have rarely had success with women I like because I'm shy to make the first move and just wait for them to probably do it.
The question now is am I in the right path for the current choices that I have undertaken? For instance, only pursuing women that I indeed like and not settling for those that I don't like or even not lowering my standards?

(10-21-2012, 07:03 PM)Javier Gerardo Wrote: I might give that a try man. However on my days off how can I make up for it? Like what Shannon has said that to add 1 1/2 days for every day that I have missed listening to the sub? Or should I continue with my planned 90 days of using it?

Anyway, last Saturday night my MP3 player stopped playing due to low battery. I had a very vivid dream or I might say a nightmare that night. I can feel that my brain did process the sub the sub. In this case as to my dream, was it showing the resistance of my sunconscious? My dream was horrific and trying to show my deep rooted fears.

Thanks for sharing and understanding my point man. This is the reason why I posted that here because you guys understand and can relate to my situation. Most of the friends nowadays are naturals with women so they can't totally understand what I have gone through before. But they have taught me a lot about the game.
All those years of watching too much romantic films and disney fantasies have taken a toll on me. I imagine my love life to be also like that. Like marry my "princess" and be like prince charming. Add the fact that I was raised Catholic and went to numerous Private Catholic schools when I was still studying.
However my family was really loving and supportive towards me. They are quite conservative though. In contrast to me being liberal and free spirited.

Yeah practice. I would like to think that all of this is just practice and every time I go out and socialize and even try to approach I get more xp. XP points that makes my social skills increase one level. Lol!

(10-23-2012, 04:13 AM)Shannon Wrote: Sex is a very powerful thing. Most males don't understand that sex without the right conditions is potentially very self destructive. I think you should never sleep with a woman you don't have some sort of connection with. Sex for the sake of sex can be fun, but do it too often and you can end up causing yourself emotional damage. I do not recommend treating women as "usage toys" (unless they ask you to), or putting yourself through meaningless sex, especially the first dozen or so times. I had to hurt myself a lot to understand these things.

(10-23-2012, 04:13 AM)Shannon Wrote: I think you should never sleep with a woman you don't have some sort of connection with. Sex for the sake of sex can be fun, but do it too often and you can end up causing yourself emotional damage.

(10-23-2012, 05:51 AM)Tiesto Wrote:

(10-23-2012, 04:13 AM)Shannon Wrote: I think you should never sleep with a woman you don't have some sort of connection with. Sex for the sake of sex can be fun, but do it too often and you can end up causing yourself emotional damage.

I'm interested and I want to learn and understand more about this part. Could you clarify what kind of emotional damage you're talking about?

EDIT: Is it like what Yuri said, or you meant other things as well?

(10-23-2012, 11:13 PM)Shannon Wrote:

(10-23-2012, 05:51 AM)Tiesto Wrote:

(10-23-2012, 04:13 AM)Shannon Wrote: I think you should never sleep with a woman you don't have some sort of connection with. Sex for the sake of sex can be fun, but do it too often and you can end up causing yourself emotional damage.

I'm interested and I want to learn and understand more about this part. Could you clarify what kind of emotional damage you're talking about?

EDIT: Is it like what Yuri said, or you meant other things as well?

In my society (USA) and I suspect in others as well, men are taught to repress and/or deny their own emotional validity. They don't even acknowledge to themselves that they have feelings in a lot of cases, never mind feelings that matter. And women are taught that they have complete freedom to be emotional.

Men who do not know, accept, understand or believe that they are emotional creatures just as women are, or that they have valid emotions, are prone to doing things that should be held in higher respect because of their emotional impact, such as sex. Having meaningless sex can damage that part of you, male or female, that needs to have an emotional connection for sex.

That's why it's important to treat sex with respect. It is self destructive and damaging to the other parties involved to be careless with sex where emotions are involved.